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| Topic: Taking Control In Relationship Where Everyone Is Innocent | |
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What is the right thing to do in a relationship where both couples seems to be the innocent one in their own mind while the other is completely guilty. Please comment If there is not mutual trust it best to move on. |
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I like to take control most of the time, But it is nice being tied up once in awhile
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Um, sorry. I don't get you.
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In most breakups, the man is always right and the woman is hard hit in it.
Lots of breakups brings regrets and "had I known", even wishes which could come true but due to self pride, we loose that "love" forever |
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The only thing I can agree with is this...
It takes two people to build a relationship and it takes two people to destroy it in some way or let it go whether out of pride or anger... actually the list is endless on the why's a relationship crumbles. The truth is that sometimes things can't be bridged for whatever reason.. Doesn't make one more right than the other as heartbreaking as it is.. It just is. So before two people destroy each other.. part and go your separate ways in peace. Hold what was dear to your heart and let the crap, hurt, and bitterness go by the wayside. Remember that person was pretty damn awesome when you were in the relationship. Unless there is abuse or cheating, etc... remember that person is someone you respected and loved Anyway that is my opinion on "Most" break ups... I don't agree we "loose that love forever" it just changes to something else. One of my EX'S is one of my best friends has been for over 20 years. |
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maybe they try and talk each other down
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What is the right thing to do in a relationship where both couples seems to be the innocent one in their own mind while the other is completely guilty. Please comment [/quote everyone has there own reality that they have made up in there own heads and it is before they old enough to understand....some call it the adaptive child part of us....bottom line the only person we really can do anything about is ourselves......... |
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Errrr....I don't get you...coming from where and who??? I for myself always want the truth and nothing but the truth... ......The truth Will Always Set a Person Free and if it comes out in the open, deal with it right away but if you are enraged lay low, back off and calm yourself...if you still have that love in your heart and still want to carry on then forgive and forget; start anew... but if you can't forgive then settle amicably like mature and responsible adults esp. when it involves children, their lives shouldn't become miserable because of the mistakes of their parents. Well, I strongly agreed with you that when it involves children, we should soft pedal... their lives shouldn't become miserable because of the mistakes of their parents. When things get wrong it is always the children that suffers, emotionally and other wise. What can we do to reduce their sufferings; continue the relationship and die in sorrow or what? Yet, we need to put the children into consideration in whatever decision we take. If the woman is a loose woman, what morals would these children get from their mum if they live with her. Likewise the man too. The children's welfare should be paramount in any decision taken. Raising children alone is not easy. 
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It's like I've said before, I like to believe there are three sides to every story. His side, her side and the truth which is hopefully somewhere in the middle. I Agree to that....   Why is that people doesn't like to see "the Truth" in argument but where it comes its always allowed to comes last I think I might know what you are referring to with this, OP. I have observed and been involved with a lot of relationship arguments. I have noticed one fairly common human behavior, that I think matches what you are describing. That is, that it's very common for people to become upset, silently at first, and then later when they start to talk or argue about the situation, they don't get to the real truth right away. They instead, argue about some side issue. This is usually because they are not sure about the main thing bugging them, but they are sure they are completely right about the smaller side issue. It can appear that they are purposely refusing to talk about the main issue, even saying nutty sounding things, because of this. Example: they might argue as though it's the end of the world, if the other person doesn't, oh, say, wipe their feet before coming in the front door. This makes them appear to be obsessed with relatively meaningless things. Actually, they are upset about something very important, but either haven't figured out how to talk about it yet, or they are worried that they are "not allowed" in some way, to make the complaint. If you put your finger directly on the issue they are worried about, because they feel guilty, or vulnerable to criticism about it, they might even deny that they are the least bit concerned, and tell you that now YOU are making up problems. But this is them being defensive, not being intentionally dishonest. In any case, what you can end up with, is a situation where both people really ARE innocent, at least of what they are arguing about, and the reason they can't make any headway about in the argument, is that they aren't even aware that they are fighting about something unrelated to what their words refer to. |
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" Actually, they are upset about something
very important, but either haven't figured out how to talk about it yet, or they are worried that they are "not allowed" in some way, to make the complaint." Most human ideology is focused on the area of thought either positive or negative but the point of focus is hard to deviated except a flexible person with a flexible thought. |
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hi actually it depends on you and your partner if you trully find your solemate nothing to worry
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hi yes im agree with you but cant say anything, just one way to find out lets stay together
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Hello MY name is Denzel and i vok you
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hi actually it depends on you and your partner if you trully find your solemate nothing to worry Yea, during the courtship everything is coooool; but with time hmmm? |
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Edited by
kriszo101
on
Wed 04/27/16 01:39 AM
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hi yes im agree with you but cant say anything, just one way to find out lets stay together  Coooool, |
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hi
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Blame game is as old as the garden of Eden! Everyone perceives themselves innocent. Do you blame Eve for curiosity? Or Adam for listening to his wife? Or the snake for speaking its mind? All of them took the iniative and made a personal decision to take an action! Joint responsibility for the consequences....
When two mature people make a decision to get into relationship, they both are responsible to nurture what they have. The success or failure is I joint responsibility, period! Anything else said by either party is public relation attempt at saving their face or seeking sympathy. |
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Blame game is as old as the garden of Eden! Everyone perceives themselves innocent. Do you blame Eve for curiosity? Or Adam for listening to his wife? Or the snake for speaking its mind? All of them took the iniative and made a personal decision to take an action! Joint responsibility for the consequences.... When two mature people make a decision to get into relationship, they both are responsible to nurture what they have. The success or failure is I joint responsibility, period! Anything else said by either party is public relation attempt at saving their face or seeking sympathy.  |
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Well put.
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Well put.  Love is GIVE and TAKE; when two minds are one,you should expect the UNEXPECTABLE |
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