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| Topic: LIVING? | |
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I hope I'm putting this in the right category. Anyway, I found this question on another forum on another site. It does make me wonder. Why does it matter, be it man or woman, where they live? I found this on the age 40 to 55 forum.
What does it matter? I mean, at that age, you've already lived out on your own. Raised your kids. Do all the things that folks do. And for whatever reason he/she decided to move back home with their elderly parents. Maybe because it's cheaper on everyone involved? But for whatever reason some men and women will not date a man or woman that has chosen to move back home. Why? What's the big deal? Worded almost exactly as I found it. |
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Although some of the time it may be that you moved back with parents to be helpful...but more and more it's a financial issue...and more times then not it will cause problems in a relationship...no matter how old we get..parents are parents...they ask what your doing...ask you not to do some things..and having a guest for the night can be very uncomfortable for everyone...I had a guy friend that lived with his parents and when he got married..his mom and wife were actually competing...cooking, cleaning...attention...non stop...they wound up divorced...I guess if you could have a small apartment it might work...but a person needs to be very patient and understanding to pull it off...jmo
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Edited by
Charles1962150
on
Tue 04/19/16 04:07 PM
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Although some of the time it may be that you moved back with parents to be helpful...but more and more it's a financial issue...and more times then not it will cause problems in a relationship...no matter how old we get..parents are parents...they ask what your doing...ask you not to do some things..and having a guest for the night can be very uncomfortable for everyone...I had a guy friend that lived with his parents and when he got married..his mom and wife were actually competing...cooking, cleaning...attention...non stop...they wound up divorced...I guess if you could have a small apartment it might work...but a person needs to be very patient and understanding to pull it off...jmo OK, I can understand that. I guess my mind just works differently. There are ways around all this stuff. All I can say is, If it were me, what I would do. Me, If I met a woman that I liked and it came down to wanting to spend the night together, Find a nice motel and be prepared to pay for a room. Keep mom or dad, or both out of my business. If it comes to the point that we are ready to marry, Marry and move out. As a man, If I had chosen to move home for whatever reason, my private life stays private. Mom & dad don't need to know. Also, If I was dating, I would be dating knowing that if I found someone I would be moving out with her and make our life together. The way I would look at it, mom and dad were making it before I came back. If I leave, It might be harder on them. But they would make it. I have to have my life too. |
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the thing that most women would want to know up front is this
why did you move back home? was it because you are taking care of your older and perhaps ailing parent? or was it because they are taking care of you? |
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the thing that most women would want to know up front is this why did you move back home? was it because you are taking care of your older and perhaps ailing parent? or was it because they are taking care of you? From the way it read to me, he moved back because he was lonely by himself. He just didn't see the point in being alone all the time. That was my understanding. But let me add this. This thought was posted in that forum. What if a man or woman does move back home because something was wrong with him or her at one point. Do you toss that person to the curb because at one point they got sick? No husband or wife to watch after them till they get better? |
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the thing that most women would want to know up front is this why did you move back home? was it because you are taking care of your older and perhaps ailing parent? or was it because they are taking care of you? I agree and am going to add a bit more. I would also wonder if it got serious and in either situation I see some really hard bumps in the road. A. if you moved home to take care of your parents and you get serious what happens then.. B. if you moved back to ease the financial burden how has this changed and what will happen if it gets serious and you want to move in together??? |
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Edited by
TMommy
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Tue 04/19/16 04:57 PM
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if you moved home because you suffered a serious financial set back due to job loss, injury, disability, divorce...etc
and you are living with your parents til you get back on your feet would you expect a woman to date you and then want to you to move in with her? if you have ongoing medical expenses and a progressive condition would you expect her to put you on her medical insurance and run you around to your doctor appts? would you expect her to in fact be a fill in "mother" for you or become an instant wife because you are needy and unwilling or unable to do for yourself? |
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Although some of the time it may be that you moved back with parents to be helpful...but more and more it's a financial issue...and more times then not it will cause problems in a relationship...no matter how old we get..parents are parents...they ask what your doing...ask you not to do some things..and having a guest for the night can be very uncomfortable for everyone...I had a guy friend that lived with his parents and when he got married..his mom and wife were actually competing...cooking, cleaning...attention...non stop...they wound up divorced...I guess if you could have a small apartment it might work...but a person needs to be very patient and understanding to pull it off...jmo OK, I can understand that. I guess my mind just works differently. There are ways around all this stuff. All I can say is, If it were me, what I would do. Me, If I met a woman that I liked and it came down to wanting to spend the night together, Find a nice motel and be prepared to pay for a room. Keep mom or dad, or both out of my business. If it comes to the point that we are ready to marry, Marry and move out. As a man, If I had chosen to move home for whatever reason, my private life stays private. Mom & dad don't need to know. Also, If I was dating, I would be dating knowing that if I found someone I would be moving out with her and make our life together. The way I would look at it, mom and dad were making it before I came back. If I leave, It might be harder on them. But they would make it. I have to have my life too. I would exactly do the same....You have Your Own Life to Live, though it doesn't mean that if you move out, you stop your communication or relationship with your family, Hell NO!! You just need to have your own space and that of your partner; just the two of you, most especially in the first years of being together 
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I hope I'm putting this in the right category. Anyway, I found this question on another forum on another site. It does make me wonder. Why does it matter, be it man or woman, where they live? I found this on the age 40 to 55 forum. What does it matter? I mean, at that age, you've already lived out on your own. Raised your kids. Do all the things that folks do. And for whatever reason he/she decided to move back home with their elderly parents. Maybe because it's cheaper on everyone involved? But for whatever reason some men and women will not date a man or woman that has chosen to move back home. Why? What's the big deal? Worded almost exactly as I found it. EACH CULTURE HAS IS PLUSES AND MINUSES UNIQUE TO IT.......ITS HARD ENOUGH FOR TWO PEOPLE FORM A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP FROM THE SAME THIS AND THAT....BUT SOMETIMES PEOPLE ARE ABLE TO OVERCOME A BIG DIFFERENCE AND IT ADD SPICE TO THERE LIVES.... 
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