Topic: rules of society
jazzinc's photo
Fri 04/22/16 07:40 AM
Why do you think some persons don't answer a simple "hello" or a gentle "good morning"?

These rules of courtesy and kindness are not perceived and applied in the same manner in different societies

Manturkey1's photo
Fri 04/22/16 07:58 AM
Perhaps some look @ the photo that's with it and say na I'll pass ...look @the distance of location , or just to snotty and self richness to care . (IE - Look@ me I'm popular on the IN..indifferent

sybariticguy's photo
Fri 04/22/16 08:20 AM
If you mean regarding internet communication then its not applicable as too many people get hundreds of hits a day and responding to all is simply foolish It is assumed if someone does not respond here its they are not interested and this should be taken as ok. If you meant in person or in other one on one contexts that's another situation wherein courtesy s the appropriate response

no photo
Fri 04/22/16 09:31 AM
I think it's because a lot of people out there don't want to get involved with the exchanging of nicety in fear that they might feel put upon by a stranger. In other words, it's easier to ignore people you don't want to deal with.

no photo
Fri 04/22/16 09:57 AM
Edited by Mary_Malone on Fri 04/22/16 09:58 AM
At first, when my last ex died, I couldn't help looking at the ground, where ever I went. I was just to upset to look at people. I was grieving. I was in shock. You never know how you're going to behave, when something very moving happens to you. I wasn't being ignorant. I was lost in my heartbroken state of mind.

no photo
Fri 04/22/16 11:29 AM
Edited by ciretom on Fri 04/22/16 11:33 AM
Why do you think some persons don't answer a simple "hello" or a gentle "good morning"?

Some people see internet dating sites/interaction as though people are standing around waiting, present, focused.

If you pass someone on the street and say "hello" or a gentle "good morning" and they ignore you, or give you a barely perceptible nod, you may give a crap for about 3 seconds, but you keep walking and go about your day, and forget all about it. Out of sight, out of mind.

When you're standing with someone for 10 minutes, a day, a week, a year, and you say "hello" or a gentle "good morning" and they stand there looking at you for the rest of the time, it makes you feel uncomfortable if they just stand there and stare at you, or just ignore you, and their presence is felt.

Online, since your interaction is personal, it's "your" internet, it's "your" screen people are showing up on, you perceive them as being in "your" space because you can see their picture, or profile.
You think they are standing there staring at you, you believe they are in your presence.

They aren't.

They've walked down the road and around the corner, doing something else, going on with their day.

It's all in your head that they're in your space and not fulfilling some kind of social norm of having to acknowledge your presence and reciprocate a built relationship that you've formed expectations of.

At best, saying "hello" or a gentle "good morning" to people on the internet is little different than calling a random phone number of some unknown person and leaving a voice mail saying "hello" or a gentle "good morning."

These rules of courtesy and kindness are not perceived and applied in the same manner in different societies

Has nothing to do with "rules of courtesy and kindness."
Only selfish perception that other people are supposed to live up to your expectations based on a relationship you think they are supposed to participate in.


Ahhh, but you didn't say "on the internet," did you...
So
Why do you think some persons don't answer a simple "hello" or a gentle "good morning"?

These rules of courtesy and kindness are not perceived and applied in the same manner in different societies

All sorts of reasons.
They didn't hear you.
You look like a threat.
They are insecure.
Their mind is focused on something else.
They don't have time to stop and chat.
They know what you want, or are afraid of what you're going to ask for.
They don't speak your language so don't know what you said.

All sorts of reasons for "why."

..And if the "rules of courtesy and kindness" were applied the same manner in all societies, there wouldn't really be different societies.

Is that what you are really asking?
"Why are people different? Why do people behave differently in different cultures?"


mzrosie's photo
Fri 04/22/16 12:37 PM

Why do you think some persons don't answer a simple "hello" or a gentle "good morning"?



In person, if someone says "hello" or "good morning" to me, even strangers on the street, I always answer with "hello to you too" or "good morning to you too. Have a nice day" with a smile. But if someone says "hello beautiful" I usually ignore it because I know it was not for me. lol

But on the internet, specially in a dating site, it's a different story. "Hello" or "Good morning" from a stranger, is not good enough to warrant a reply from me.




IgorFrankensteen's photo
Sat 04/23/16 08:02 AM

Why do you think some persons don't answer a simple "hello" or a gentle "good morning"?

These rules of courtesy and kindness are not perceived and applied in the same manner in different societies


Actually, you are wrong. In more than one way.

First, they are NOT "rules." Anywhere. "Rules" even in a social sense, are coercions. They are not suggestions, and the are certainly not what one would call niceties, or courtesies.

And the answer to your question, in many cases, is that the reason SOME people don't respond as you might like, can be because correct or not, they perceive the "hello" or "good morning" to be an attempt at manipulation.

Not accusing you personally of anything, just pointing out that many of us, including myself, have had to deal with people who used such imaginary "rules" to either force me to show them affection or even deference they did not deserve, or to pretend to be actual nice people when I knew they were not.

If you run across someone who has been abused by others, using what you think are simple polite niceties, they are unlikely to explain themselves to you.

One thing is sure: if you respond to their silence with hostility, you will PROVE that you weren't "being polite" or otherwise genuinely nice.

In other words, if you are making negative assumptions about people who don't respond in kind to such things, then you are one of the reasons why they are not doing so. But if you can instead recognize the many other possible reasons for such, and have no ill will about it all, you can instead contribute to improving the world.

jazzinc's photo
Sat 04/23/16 08:33 AM


Why do you think some persons don't answer a simple "hello" or a gentle "good morning"?

These rules of courtesy and kindness are not perceived and applied in the same manner in different societies


Actually, you are wrong. In more than one way.

First, they are NOT "rules." Anywhere. "Rules" even in a social sense, are coercions. They are not suggestions, and the are certainly not what one would call niceties, or courtesies.

And the answer to your question, in many cases, is that the reason SOME people don't respond as you might like, can be because correct or not, they perceive the "hello" or "good morning" to be an attempt at manipulation.

Not accusing you personally of anything, just pointing out that many of us, including myself, have had to deal with people who used such imaginary "rules" to either force me to show them affection or even deference they did not deserve, or to pretend to be actual nice people when I knew they were not.

If you run across someone who has been abused by others, using what you think are simple polite niceties, they are unlikely to explain themselves to you.

One thing is sure: if you respond to their silence with hostility, you will PROVE that you weren't "being polite" or otherwise genuinely nice.

In other words, if you are making negative assumptions about people who don't respond in kind to such things, then you are one of the reasons why they are not doing so. But if you can instead recognize the many other possible reasons for such, and have no ill will about it all, you can instead contribute to improving the world.


Thank you sir;for "improving the world" with your particular way of thinking. A great contribution!

sybariticguy's photo
Sat 04/23/16 09:41 PM


Why do you think some persons don't answer a simple "hello" or a gentle "good morning"?



In person, if someone says "hello" or "good morning" to me, even strangers on the street, I always answer with "hello to you too" or "good morning to you too. Have a nice day" with a smile. But if someone says "hello beautiful" I usually ignore it because I know it was not for me. lol

But on the internet, specially in a dating site, it's a different story. "Hello" or "Good morning" from a stranger, is not good enough to warrant a reply from me.





sybariticguy's photo
Sat 04/23/16 09:43 PM


Why do you think some persons don't answer a simple "hello" or a gentle "good morning"?



In person, if someone says "hello" or "good morning" to me, even strangers on the street, I always answer with "hello to you too" or "good morning to you too. Have a nice day" with a smile. But if someone says "hello beautiful" I usually ignore it because I know it was not for me. lol

But on the internet, specially in a dating site, it's a different story. "Hello" or "Good morning" from a stranger, is not good enough to warrant a reply from me.




Would you really try to respond to several hundred people each day to say im not interested? WHY no response is the appropriate one...as the focus should simply go those with whom one is truly interested...

SitkaRains's photo
Mon 04/25/16 08:10 AM

Why do you think some persons don't answer a simple "hello" or a gentle "good morning"?

These rules of courtesy and kindness are not perceived and applied in the same manner in different societies

I don't look at courtesy's as rules... I also have a hard time following most rules.

In public I answer and greet people all the time with a Hi or good morning, or afternoon. etc..

Not because it is a rule but because that is who I am.

jazzinc's photo
Mon 04/25/16 11:07 PM


Why do you think some persons don't answer a simple "hello" or a gentle "good morning"?

These rules of courtesy and kindness are not perceived and applied in the same manner in different societies

I don't look at courtesy's as rules... I also have a hard time following most rules.

In public I answer and greet people all the time with a Hi or good morning, or afternoon. etc..

Not because it is a rule but because that is who I am.


Not because it is a rule but because that is who I am.

...and certainly; you kindly respond to that because you are a well educated lady with good manners. Not simply because "you are like that"

I hope; you not only respond....and you say to others;a kind "good morning"...sometimes.