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| Topic: Introducing to my parents | |
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Next week, Me and Jenny are visiting my parents house. It is the first time, she will meet my parents and I want it to work out especially a good relationship between my mother and gf is very valuable for me. I am thinking ways to warm up both the sides before they meet each other. Any bright ideas?
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Jimmy, been married more than once. My advice. Stay out of it. Your mom will know what to do. Leave them alone and they will know what to work out. Don't try to control every situation. Just let it flow. Good luck.
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Jimmy, been married more than once. My advice. Stay out of it. Your mom will know what to do. Leave them alone and they will know what to work out. Don't try to control every situation. Just let it flow. Good luck. ^^^^^^This, followed by Blondey's advice. And emphasis on 'don't try to control every situation'! You cannot force things to happen, you cannot force ppl to like each other. That's something that'll have to grow and develop. Doing something nice, like Blondey suggested, could make things easier and fun. And I think the most important thing is for you to stay calm and your normal self. If you get all nervous and weird, your girlfriend will feel that and will likely start to feel nervous too. |
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Okay so don't try to control the situation, take them out to a fun neutral place and let them figure out stuff..sounds like I am not needed so much
 Come on guys won't it be better for me to influence my mom a bit and caution my gf about the stuff my mom likes and dislikes. It is a dinner invitation and mom is cooking so outside fun is not in my control but good idea 
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So you need to feel needed?
 For your information, you are. You just don't try to control things. But you're the one in the middle -like Blondey said, the common denominator- so you make sure things go smooth if need be. If conversations doesn't flow right away, you step in to help it along a tad. As for the rest ... do you want to give your GF a list of dos and donts? ANd another list of what your mom's like? I mean, come on! It's dinner not the Spanish Inquisition? I take it your mom is nice, and simply interested in meeting the woman you fancy, not in eating her alive? Just relax! If you're going to be this uptight, how's do you expect your GF to feel? It'll be much easier for her if you're relaxed yourself. |
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Hope you guys understand how important it is for them to like her. Are you guys sure that I shouldn't do anything?
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Hope you guys understand how important it is for them to like her. Are you guys sure that I shouldn't do anything? Yes, before you go to your parents.. Call them tell them you are bringing home someone special to you.. Let them know that you are excited to have them finally meet this wonderful person that you are spending time with. Then when you introduce Jenny... Mum, I would like you to meet a special person in my life this is Jenny the lady I have told you so much about.. Jenny, I would like you to meet my wonderful parents, they are the ones to thank for all my good qualities... Then relax and let it unfold. Both sides have been told how important this is to you and both sides know without a shadow of doubt that they are equally important to you. Good luck |
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Next week, Me and Jenny are visiting my parents house. It is the first time, she will meet my parents and I want it to work out especially a good relationship between my mother and gf is very valuable for me. I am thinking ways to warm up both the sides before they meet each other. Any bright ideas? Have her bring some kind of gift ... like drinking wine or eating as you all are all together... if she cooks ... bring mom flowers or a plant if she likes that ... something small ... as a thank you ...welcoming gift... just a thought ... |
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Next week, Me and Jenny are visiting my parents house. It is the first time, she will meet my parents and I want it to work out especially a good relationship between my mother and gf is very valuable for me. I am thinking ways to warm up both the sides before they meet each other. Any bright ideas? Have her bring some kind of gift ... like drinking wine or eating as you all are all together... if she cooks ... bring mom flowers or a plant if she likes that ... something small ... as a thank you ...welcoming gift... just a thought ... First why did you take down your pic?.. what kind of gift was the first thing Jenny asked me so we are on the same page there. |
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Jimmy,
I think I see what your getting at. You think if you do "nothing" and things go south, you will feel it's your fault. Jimmy, I know this is new to you, but you've got to give your ladies more credit than that. They both know the meaning of their first meeting. You shouldn't worry. I would wait to see how the initial thing goes. Then you know if it's a wedding or a wake! Oh, Rob, you are such a stinker! Yessssss I know! |
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Jimmy, I think I see what your getting at. You think if you do "nothing" and things go south, you will feel it's your fault. Jimmy, I know this is new to you, but you've got to give your ladies more credit than that. They both know the meaning of their first meeting. You shouldn't worry. I would wait to see how the initial thing goes. Then you know if it's a wedding or a wake! Oh, Rob, you are such a stinker! Yessssss I know! You are right Rob, I will feel awful if things go south. I understand they are modern intelligent ladies but I really want it to work for me. My friends stupidly showed me some hatred movies like monster-in-law, etc and it left me with some negative thoughts. I guess you can understand what I am going through right? Just want to make a smooth transition here |
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Hope you guys understand how important it is for them to like her. Are you guys sure that I shouldn't do anything? Yes, before you go to your parents.. Call them tell them you are bringing home someone special to you.. Let them know that you are excited to have them finally meet this wonderful person that you are spending time with. Then when you introduce Jenny... Mum, I would like you to meet a special person in my life this is Jenny the lady I have told you so much about.. Jenny, I would like you to meet my wonderful parents, they are the ones to thank for all my good qualities... Then relax and let it unfold. Both sides have been told how important this is to you and both sides know without a shadow of doubt that they are equally important to you. Good luck Just this. And stop fussing. If it is important for them to like your partner, there's nothing much you can do other than what's already suggested. Basically it's their problem if it's so important to them. Are you seriously going to dump your GF if they don't like her? If that's the case, you best let them choose a partner for you. I'm thinking us Dutchies are more down to earth when it comes to this stuff. Sure it's great if parents like our partners, but if they don't, tough chit. Parents should respect their children's choices and instead of trying to control them, just enjoy seeing their kids happy. Even if that includes a partner that's not to their liking. If I'd told my either of my kids I didn't like their partner and would prefer to see them go, they would've told me to FO, lol. And quite rightfully so. It's their life, their happiness, not mine. I have no right to interfere. Mutual respect for each other's choices. Works both ways. But yeah, that's how we do things over here. Whatever you do, good luck. |
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If you stress then you can be sure both your Mom and GF are going to stress. Lighten up. Tell each a couple of complimentary things about the other and then get out of the way. If you try and dominate the situation then you can pretty much assure it will crash and burn on impact.
Totally skip the whole "my Mother does not like" list because all that is going to do is insult your Mom and make your GF feel like she is walking on egg shells. If your Mother invited YOU and Jenny to meet for dinner then it is nice if you take a nice hostess gift of flowers signed from both of you or perhaps high grade chocolates but I would avoid booze or drinking on the first meeting. Assume your Mother is going to knock herself out and at least put on something respectable for her effort. Not the sappy Matchy-Match thing that shouts he is my territory now but if she is old school traditional you might want to put on a little more formal appearance for the first impression and maybe photos. My Daughter in law, that I adore by the way, wore a simple skirt and blouse, flats that flattered her but allowed her to join in the kitchen afterwards that made us fast friends. |
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Jimmy, I think I see what your getting at. You think if you do "nothing" and things go south, you will feel it's your fault. Jimmy, I know this is new to you, but you've got to give your ladies more credit than that. They both know the meaning of their first meeting. You shouldn't worry. I would wait to see how the initial thing goes. Then you know if it's a wedding or a wake! Oh, Rob, you are such a stinker! Yessssss I know! You are right Rob, I will feel awful if things go south. I understand they are modern intelligent ladies but I really want it to work for me. My friends stupidly showed me some hatred movies like monster-in-law, etc and it left me with some negative thoughts. I guess you can understand what I am going through right? Just want to make a smooth transition here Yup, you'll be fine hombre! <- dat means man! |
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Just this. And stop fussing. If it is important for them to like your partner, there's nothing much you can do other than what's already suggested. Basically it's their problem if it's so important to them. Are you seriously going to dump your GF if they don't like her? If that's the case, you best let them choose a partner for you. I'm thinking us Dutchies are more down to earth when it comes to this stuff. Sure it's great if parents like our partners, but if they don't, tough chit. Parents should respect their children's choices and instead of trying to control them, just enjoy seeing their kids happy. Even if that includes a partner that's not to their liking. If I'd told my either of my kids I didn't like their partner and would prefer to see them go, they would've told me to FO, lol. And quite rightfully so. It's their life, their happiness, not mine. I have no right to interfere. Mutual respect for each other's choices. Works both ways. But yeah, that's how we do things over here. Whatever you do, good luck. Haha..I have always made my choices and my parents have learned to live with it (ofcourse after a fuzz). It is not that I will break up with Jenny because my mom doesn't like her but the issue is that if she doesn't like her then it will take some time for them to accept her and till then I will be in a tug war between them and Jenny. I really want to avoid such situations and want them all to be happy from the word go. |
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If you stress then you can be sure both your Mom and GF are going to stress. Lighten up. Tell each a couple of complimentary things about the other and then get out of the way. If you try and dominate the situation then you can pretty much assure it will crash and burn on impact. Totally skip the whole "my Mother does not like" list because all that is going to do is insult your Mom and make your GF feel like she is walking on egg shells. If your Mother invited YOU and Jenny to meet for dinner then it is nice if you take a nice hostess gift of flowers signed from both of you or perhaps high grade chocolates but I would avoid booze or drinking on the first meeting. Assume your Mother is going to knock herself out and at least put on something respectable for her effort. Not the sappy Matchy-Match thing that shouts he is my territory now but if she is old school traditional you might want to put on a little more formal appearance for the first impression and maybe photos. My Daughter in law, that I adore by the way, wore a simple skirt and blouse, flats that flattered her but allowed her to join in the kitchen afterwards that made us fast friends. Wow that sounds nice, so try to give them time together for bonding. Well that situation I can create or plan. |
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Jimmy, I think I see what your getting at. You think if you do "nothing" and things go south, you will feel it's your fault. Jimmy, I know this is new to you, but you've got to give your ladies more credit than that. They both know the meaning of their first meeting. You shouldn't worry. I would wait to see how the initial thing goes. Then you know if it's a wedding or a wake! Oh, Rob, you are such a stinker! Yessssss I know! You are right Rob, I will feel awful if things go south. I understand they are modern intelligent ladies but I really want it to work for me. My friends stupidly showed me some hatred movies like monster-in-law, etc and it left me with some negative thoughts. I guess you can understand what I am going through right? Just want to make a smooth transition here Yup, you'll be fine hombre! <- dat means man! I thought hombre meant friend 
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I forgot to mention as I was able to so easily mix up with her parents, Jenny is taking this as a challenge and gearing up. So now should I lighten up my mom?
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Lighten up meaning provide details and good points of Jenny
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Next week, Me and Jenny are visiting my parents house.... 
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