Here are just a few of what i have heard:


Miss, if you've lost your virginity, can I have the box that it came in?


Gesture for person to come over I just made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with the rest of my body.

I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

Would you like to go home for a pizza and a ****?....*slap*...what? you don't like pizza?

Your parents must be thieves cuz someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

I'm not trying anything. I always put my hands there.

I'm not trying to pick you up...you're too heavy.

Your body's name must be visa, because it's everywhere I want to be

Mine is "Baby you remind me of frosted flakes because your are soo damn sweet"

Your smile is as unique as a single ray of sunlight dancing in a single drop of dew in the center of a pink rose in the early morning light.

Sounds good when your drunk as hell,,,, or already passed out,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

If you'll be so kind as to pass me my teeth,, I'll be ready to party !

Ok, on 3 everyone lift....1....2...

If I had a Rose for everytime I've thought of you, I could walk thru my garden forever...........

Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.

not a good one but heres one ive heard
your so fine baby id drink your bath water

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<Gagging

that is gross

this is bad but its the only one i can think of




tell a girl you only have a 1" penis and when she tells you thats not possible invtite her home to prove you wrong

the only one that has ever "worked" for me is


Hi, my name is Dave!

You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.

I just heard these. These are on the cruder side. Tell me what you think?

Your right leg's Christmas and your left leg's New Year's; I'd like to visit you between the holidays.

Would you like to play a game? Let's play Pearl Harbor. I'll be Hawaii and you can be Japan and blow the hell out of me!!

Do you know the difference between sex and conversation? no, want to go upstairs and talk?

your so fine id drink your bath water

Funniest one I heard was---->>
Let's go back to my place and do some math, Add a bed, subtract your clothes, devide your legs and Multiply! LOL

tHATS A CLASSIC.

Now, gents, I know what to listen for when a guy is hitting on me! Tell me more! I need to take notes!

How about You, Me, an empty hot tub and a gallon of wesson oil , what do ya say?

Can I buy you a drink,,,, or do you just want the money ?