Rooster35,

I think you right someone that off can't be romantically involved.. What about people that do stay for the long shot ? would it make a difference. does that define them?

CrystalFairy,

Hello, well I read your answers and I was floored and excited to see where you coming from. May I ask this, could love prevail with the right treatments, medication therapy, and love & understanding? Could it work?

EyeAmYourHost39,

(More In The Story)

So as I move forward in the book, "Lance" wanted answers, so he went to his wife cousin job for "Bobbi Jo". In a nutshell "Tia's" cousin told "Lance" her cousin was severely Bipolar. "Lance" heart fell to the ground. shortly after that he confronts his wife and she slowly confessed. To make the matters worst, " Lance" & his wife " Tia" are expecting a baby in the mist of the marriage. " Lance" whole thing was why she never told me , our marriage is conceive on deception. " Tia " whole thing was if she told him what she going thru he won't give her time off a day while they were dating , let alone now there , married he would divorce her. Not to mention " Tia's " mom the problem too.....

I'm not an A-hole I've got no problem going out and getting a coffee or something but ice cream is out seeing as how I'm horribly lactose intolerant. I don't worry about that much though because it is usually a co-worker or class mate that ask me if I want to join their group and that doesn't happen very often. As for a single person asking me if I would mind doing something that happens once every 3 to 5 years and I have never had any takers when I'm the one doing the asking.

May I inquire the name of the book?

With a narcissist? Very difficult. There is no treatment for that. He could do therapy to learn different behaviours and reactions, but then it will still be learnt and copied behaviour, not from the heart. And you will always feel that it's not genuine, not heartfelt.
Apart from that, they won't do therapy, because typically a narcissist will be adamant there's nothing wrong with him, but there's something wrong with you. The way they convey that time and again is so convincing that if you're vulnerable you'll start to believe he's right.

The reason he won't do therapy is simple: narcissism is caused by a trauma that hit him real bad. Therapy will make him both face that trauma and will make him aware that his entire personality is fake. (he does know that by the way). He built that fake personality to not feel and face that trauma, so he won't be willing to go there. So no therapy for him.
Only a mild narcissist may do so, most won't. I've done therapy with him, together. Not aimed to 'cure' him, relationship therapy. The way he dealt with a therapist was astounding. They either charm them to death too, or they verbally and mentally fence them off in a way that deserves a Nobel prize. It's almost admirable.

This is why we have a bond. We know NPD people. They can't be helped. Think sociopaths with an ego

Everyone has issues. As long as they are working on them (some might need therapy or meds) I would try. Except (as Crystal said) with NPD.

I'm inclined to agree with this ^^^ .... Any significant mental illness should be disclosed well before you get to the "marriage" stage of a relationship.

Now, if the person was honest, up front - from near the beginning of the relationship and taking medication for a moderate to mild mental illness - I would not consider that an instant deal breaker. It would truly depend on how they managed it.

It's impossible to give a blanket answer to a very individual situation.

That was my ex-husband.

Isaac_Dede,

Yes my friend its by the author ReShonda Tate Billingsley. The name of the book is called" Best Kept Secret". you can probably find the book at your local library. Ask for the African American books.

Inni_dreamz,
Hey you, you poor girl, I can honestly say you truly love your husband if you can accept his illness. It takes special person to be able to look past the illness and still maintain a marriage. gold star for you.

YellowRose10,

Hello, what you saying is sweet to me. my ex girlfriend had a mental illness, I was with her for 13 years. I learn to accept it. even when she wasn't taking her meds, she would never flip out with mood swings , nothing like that. But I did notice she would be in a daze sometimes. I can remember we was going food shopping at our local mini mall and she wasn't herself. she was so daze she almost walked across the street and a car was approaching. If it wasn't for me to shield her, well I might of lost her. Later I lost her but not being hit by car.......the relationship didn't work.

EyeAmYourHost39

(More On The Story II)

Okay , as the story continues, "Lance" decides to talk to her doctor, the dr told him that " Tia" not going to take her meds so if you can get her here I will speak to a judge to be able to admit her to a mental hospital. So he complies, next thing " Tia" was also a lawyer, one of many odd behaviocatherrs of hers was she was supposed to represent a client in court and her not taking her meds, she flipped out in court. She insulted the defendant calling him a evil lying scumbag, so the judge dismissed the case and banned her in her court room. another odd behavior was a little into her marriage she calls herself gardening. she grab some roses that was in a vase and begin to plant them in her yard. her mother, the woman that in denial of her daughters illness comes by to see how she been feeling. Shortly " Lance" comes home here's the oddness. " Lance" asked her what she was doing, she goes I'm planting flowers in our yard to make our house look special. the kicker is she was planting plastic flowers. when " Lance " told her baby, why you planting plastic flowers? She flips out in a rage rip up the plastic flowers and throw them at "Lance". Now by this time he didn't know about her illness until the 30th chapter in the book. Another odd behavior was she was supposed to get a achievement award from her firm, she got on stage and said she was quitting law and she wants to open up a dog grooming business. she mentions she already has celebrity clients like Catherine zeta-jones,Denzel Washington and a few others. Her Husband told her why would celebrities come all the way to Houston texas to get there dog groomed?

EyeAmYourHost39

(More On The Story II)

Okay , as the story continues, "Lance" decides to talk to her doctor, the dr told him that " Tia" not going to take her meds so if you can get her here I will speak to a judge to be able to admit her to a mental hospital. So he complies, next thing " Tia" was also a lawyer, one of many odd behaviors of hers was she was supposed to represent a client in court and her not taking her meds, she flipped out in court. She insulted the defendant calling him a evil lying scumbag, so the judge dismissed the case and banned her in her court room. another odd behavior was a little into her marriage she calls herself gardening. she grab some roses that was in a vase and begin to plant them in her yard. her mother, the woman that in denial of her daughters illness comes by to see how she been feeling. Shortly " Lance" comes home here's the oddness. " Lance" asked her what she was doing, she goes I'm planting flowers in our yard to make our house look special. the kicker is she was planting plastic flowers. when " Lance " told her baby, why you planting plastic flowers? She flips out in a rage rip up the plastic flowers and throw them at "Lance". Now by this time he didn't know about her illness until the 30th chapter in the book. Another odd behavior was she was supposed to get a achievement award from her firm, she got on stage and said she was quitting law and she wants to open up a dog grooming business. she mentions she already has celebrity clients like Catherine zeta-jones,Denzel Washington and a few others. Her Husband told her why would celebrities come all the way to Houston texas to get there dog groomed?

Well, he's my ex .. so eventually, I couldn't.

We got together very young, and to this day - I doubt he would admit to being a narcissist. He added drugs to the mix - and that was a d.e.a.l.b.r.e.a.k.e.r....for me!

MetroMania,
I get it......break the chains of illness.......I like that!

Inni_Dreamz,

Well you still a stand up woman.

EyeAmYourHost39,

(Conclusion Of The Story)

Okay as the story ends to some it up in a few words, "Lance" was bailed out of jail by his ex " Crystal". Why " Lance was in Jail due to his wife " Tia" mood swing spells. meanwhile " Tia"s mom calls " Lance" to tell him " Tia's " in labor, come to the hospital. "Lance" rushes to the hospital , moments later the " Kingston" couple here arrives a baby girl they name " Lauren Tionne Kingston".. One Night " Lance invites his best friend " Brian" and his date " Jillian" for adult conversation and dinner. "Lance" asked "
Jillian" what she do for a living? she explains she's in the home health aide line of work and sometimes her patients in a joking way they cause her to go crazy and drink. " Tia" flipped, insults "Jillian", getting irate , name calling & cursing out there house guest. See " Jillian didn't know she was dealing with severe bipolar disorder. " Lance just couldn't understand. About a week later, one night "Tia" was left home with the baby, and the voices started to haunt her. the voices was telling her she wasn't worthy of being a mother and to kill her baby. she grabbed a pillow and proceeded to approach baby Lauren and she stopped herself and ran into the bathroom and took 3 bottles of painkillers. She basically ODed. She was rushed to the hospital and she wasn't responding. after some intense hours pass " Tia" wakes up from her coma. once she was able to recover this is where love conquers all. " Lance" & "Tia" remained married, she even enrolled herself in a support group with folks that suffering from the same disease. "Lance decides to stick it out with "Tia" and make there marriage work. See, America maybe a person that suffers from a mental illness can achieve happiness & love. what do you think , America?