stay single or be in a relationship?

stay single for now.
the person i want a relationship with is not ready.

That's not a real choice.
No matter who you are you are in relationships.

Right now you and I have a "relationship."
You go to the grocery store and say "hi" to the cashier, you are in a relationship with that person.
You go to Amazon and buy an iPod? You are in a relationship with the UPS guy that drops off your package, you are in a relationship with the person that built your iPod,. you are in a relationship with whomever packaged up your product to send it to you.

Everyone you interact with in any way, whether verbally or nonverbally, you are in a relationship with them.

"Staying single" is simply you choosing, trying to control, your relationship, putting up walls and boundaries you force other people to conform to, adhere to roles and expectations.

Being "in a relationship" is simply you not trying so hard to be "single" and/or trying to avoid being "single."

So what you are "really" asking is "should I keep trying so hard to isolate myself for my own individuality and control of the universe? Or should I recognize and accept that other people are just as important as I am, that we need each other, and let the part of myself that needs people out and free, willing to be hurt, to feel the pain and joys that come with it?"

There is no choice between single and being in a relationship.
The only choice is either blindly accepting all the relationships life forces on you or finding and accepting and focusing on one.

Quantity you can't really control? Or quality you have to take responsibility for.
That's your choice.

true ciretom...i think the pp was referring to romantic relationships

ciretom, I am not shadowing you. You just seem to be commenting on topics that I am willing to participate in. I appreciate your focus on removing delusional thinking. People in general are 'conditioned' to delusional thinking. Even the words used to express themselves reflect that conditioning. Words are powerful. Not only do they convey communication they are interpreted within us differently. We assume others place the same meaning on phrases based on our ideas of social conditioning over our lifetime. Many times we say things and do not really understand the meanings or we say things based on delusional understanding.

This is a dating site. The OP asks a question she has already answered just by being here. Like so many people at this dating site she doesn't understand what she wants. She is looking for self-validity from others because she refuses to look at herself honestly and choose a course of action.

She is looking for a relationship. She just doesn't know if it is a new relationship or a return to a previous relationship? With a status listed as 'separated' she is not single. Therefore she cannot stay single until she is no longer separated.

Perhaps she is unwilling to acknowledge the end of her last relationship and is asking us to make that decision for her?
I can't/won't make her decision for her. I can't advise her either way. She is asking just that.

My advice to Robie27 is to look within yourself and make a decision based on your own understanding of your needs and desires. Strip away the lies and delusions you tell yourself and try to find the real you. Not only will it bring you peace of mind, it will enable you to proceed decisively. No matter what you decide, the only person it matters to is you.

How am I relationshiping with the ups guy when he drops off a package?

Oh...relate + ship

Only you can make that choice.

True... correct.. check 100%

I relate most things to my self

It would be nice to be able to relate some of those things with on other individual on a regular basis

Staying single until I heal :)

Ouch...I hate when that happens.

Single in relationships

staying single no more settling... all or nothing at all

Sh@t happens babe x

Singles have more fun!

Clarification: what "in a relationship" means to most people, is that they are in a DEDICATED or COMMITTED relationship, with some level of exclusivity or not.

So. The real question here is, should a very young person, just beginning to figure out who and what they are, and who and what they like, COMMIT themselves exclusively to one other person. Or more, if they commit to one of those mutli-partner deals.

If that's what we are talking about, I would say that the question is another one of those, where if you think you need to ask, then the answer should probably be no. That is, if you don't both understand the details of a committed relationship, and you aren't sure if you know the other person or yourself well enough to get into one, then don't.

From another point of view, a learn-by-doing kind of approach, entering into a committed relationship is a very good idea, even when you aren't sure, because it is a sure fire way to find out. Usually very painfully, but nevertheless, you WILL learn.

hlo baby

single but ready to mingle . hehe chat if u want ?

hmmm