Ok, just a tip. Even if you do not want to read lengthy profiles,, it may be a good idea to at least read the header that tells you what they are looking for.


Although it is flattering or meant to be flattering when people right off the bat start messaging about wanting to hook up or how they would like to spend their life with you,,,,,,if you are looking for friends, it can be a scary red flag.

I personally have to wonder how three or four sentences on a social email can be all a person needs to determine that someone would be a good partner? I certainly need much more than that. Perhaps those sentences happened on one of your best days,, but how are you on a bad day, how are you when we disagree, how do you treat others when you arent flirting,,,,etc,,etc,,,

If you come across a profile of someone looking for friends, please , SLOW IT DOWN a bit.,,,

I personally see the 'Looking For' first.
As far as I am concerned all the reasons are seeking friendship in one form or another. M2 is designed to connect singles.

Looking for Friends tells me the person is not looking for intimacy at all and just looking for a platonic friendship for any reason, that may or may not be a real-world scenario.

Looking for a Relationship tells me that they are looking for something more than friendship that could include intimacy and might be a lasting relationship intended to eventually be face to face.

Looking for an Intimate Encounter tells me they want sex now and the real world scenario is vital and immediate. The sex will be meaningless and might also be very dangerous. While friendship might occur it is not vital.

I will pen-pal the first
Woo the second and
Ignore the third.

I alwsys find it interesting when someone tells me i can be their life partner.
I always ask. Based on what?
Well based on your profile.
Ok, what in my profile shows you we might be compatible?
I'm not searching for anything.
Like Tom said friendship right now means only platonic.
I do read profiles when people message me. (I'm one of those people who actually responds).
I don't respond to intimate encounter. Or to marriage. Even if i was searching, those 2 are off the list. Intimate encounter just wants easy sex. Wants martiage seems a little too desperate. Maybe eventually i would want marriage. But nit hey i met you today, lets tie the knot tomorrow

Oh I feel the pain of us long-winded profile makers..
My profile is long but it conveys very well who I am..
I am on another dating site ,my profile goes from top of the page to the bottom.. as I sat there typing out blah blah blah before I knew it I was at the bottom of the page.. craving Desiring! another page in which to pour my Essence out on to... but then I look at other profiles woman's profiles.. some are like mine Epic... some are very short and to the point...ie)
I like this I like that I'm looking for this and that...
But somehow they do convey in a little way ,what you can expect.. from them
But then again.. it's not a lot to go on...

So I raise my hand in favor of long-winded profiles... just keep them entertaining..lol.

Considering:

> All are Total Strangers at the beginning.
> Most initial meets are via the profiles.
> Only a select few participate in the community forums.
> Without correspondence the only info you have is what is in the profile.
> Personalities are are complex.
> Enticing an unfamiliar prospect is difficult.
> Some word meanings are subjective.
> Honesty is not assured.
> Integrity is not a given.
> Humor is specific to the receptive.
> Entertainment is personal.
...and many more factors specific to each and every person writing and viewing a profile.

To me a profile should be written with the task at hand in mind. Kinda like a resume is written to find a new job. It is a blanket statement that sells your features to a prospective meet.
Its one of those few times in life where you are supposed to brag about your qualities and point out your best. All written to entice a stranger to want to find out more about you.

When you message someone from their profile as a form of first contact it can be like a cover letter. If it sux, they will pass you by but if what you wrote coincides with the profile you wrote and something is found that they find appealing they may write back for an interview.

We are complex creatures and many of us have a lifetime of experiences that we wish to repeat and others that we are glad do not. Feelings about our lives are difficult to put into words sometimes. Many use poetry.
Life can be complex and our reasons for wanting something are not always clear. It often takes a lot of self-examination to really understand what it is we are looking for. All these complexities cannot be fairly summarized in a few short sentences so long-winded profiles result.

Plus, we are dynamic creatures that change moment by moment. Profiles are often constantly reworded and amended to reflect those changes as they occur.

If you look at the most long-winded profile, no matter how long, it is merely a short quip to the novel that is you. Your book has been being written since your birth and you have an encyclopedia of information about what makes you, you.

The way I see it, the more information I learn about you the easier it is for me to decide whether or not to contact you.

I don't even acknowledge the "For Marriage" reasons.

I do understand that for some it is meant to say "Looking for possible marriage" but even that is delusional.

To me it is like someone posting a job wanted ad in a paper that states I want a job that pays $450,984.16 per year. Then they fill in the rest of the ad with all the things they are not willing to do. Could it happen? Perhaps, but I would call that employer a fool.

See, what gets me about the whole "Looking For Marriage" thing is that marriage cannot be acquired online, sure you can do a mail order bride but would you? Its like all those poor deluded souls that think they can find their true love online.

As for reasons, I only see the three I previously mentioned. Anything else is an instant pass.

Profiles don't really matter.
They either contain no information, or worthless information.
It all depends on pictures, and communication compatibility.


Assuming it's not a scammer trying to tell you what they think you want to hear, that isn't just targeting "women" and attacking with generalized stereotypes until they get a response they can exploit:

Some people are committed to what they want.
They've made the decision to find a partner and make it work, no matter what. The commitment is to making it work, the life of having a partner.
The commitment isn't to you, or getting to know you, emotionally validating or actualizing you, it's to a concept of marriage or partnership or whatever.

It matters less "who" than living up to the commitment.
So less information regarding what makes up the "who" is required.
Only the commitment and finding someone that will reciprocate with their commitment to the marriage or partnership, not them.

Now I'm confused ...NOT REALLY, I can see the professor is here .

Thanks Tom, you explained this well. I had changed mine from relationship to friendship because so far everyone lives too far away, and I kind of gave up on the idea that I would meet anyone close by. Plus ultimately, it all begins with friendship. Deep down though, my desire is to be in a relationship eventually.

So, I suppose changing it back to interested in a relationship makes sense. Wouldn't want to be passed up by someone thinking I am only interested in being a friend

And msharmony, you have a good point, thanks!

I don't think they do Funzy, have you watched how they walk?

********************************************

LOL...Soooooo CUTE ...Awwww ...I LOVE them.
Warning !...Can be aggressive creatures when
in a larger group or family.

Now ! Believe it , Penguins have knees
When I trained as volunteer for wild animals
rescue shelters, we went to Sydney to get a
specialised teaching on some cold waters creatures also.

I HAVE SEEN EX-RAYS OF PENGUINS LEGS AND YES, THEY HAVE KNEES ...
LOL

Yeah, I just read your other post, very interesting . They are really cute. Good to know about the aggressive side of them, I'll be sure to keep my distance.

hi

****************************************************

Well, now you UNDERSTAND better how difficult
is to start a relationship via internet or matching sites.

Since I am at an age where I can clearly state that,
I AM NOT THAT DESPERATE, ..LOL, I CHOOSE to write on my
profile " HAPPY AUSSIE CHAP TRYING TO MAKE SOME FRIENDS "

No matter what or how one try to put his/her advertisings, it
all starts with friendship first....Admit it....Okay, DON'T.

Another NOT so practical point or REASONS is,
THE DISTANCE OVER THE BIG POND TO TRAVEL,
TIMING, AVAILABILITY, SEASON/S, WORK, etc etc.

Now taking in consideration that 89% of Aussie females
( Hardly any closer to the country area ) where I live
are just FAKE, FLUKES or Just Curious if they can catch a
Catfish or two LOL, I have to open my options outside
the BIG POND...Females ( My age bracket ) also, ( Majority or
Most of them ), have NOTHING ( Nada ) written on theirs profile,
and if lucky, an older picture hardly one can see true, that's
not really a chance to take or bet of my time to waist either.

CONCLUSION:...In my case, I HAVE TO, keep my main tag
add as ....Looking for Friendship.

Cheers ((( H-U-G-S )))

((( HUGS )))

Its a matter of understanding yourself and what you want.

I have actually relocated to be with someone. It didn't work out but I was willing to go to her. You may not have anyone available in your area but it is not impossible to think that someone might find you worthy of relocation to be with.
I suggest you honestly seek and think of the whole online dating arena as your neighborhood. For some, distance is not a factor and who knows?

Thanks Tom, I think you're right. And I am not opposed to relocating, have done so in the past. Obviously things didn't work out, but I would still consider it again. Home is where the heart is, so I would always be home, where ever that may be.

Personally when I see a "separated" status it scares me away. I don't want tostart a relationship with someone who hasn't even closed his last one. And maybe even a bigger chance of them reconciliating.

Separated to. Me means they are selfish and want you on stand by until if ever they clean up the mess they say they ate getting out of.

You start out being the janitor in the relationship and there is no reason for it to get better.

More often they just visit the same step off your heart they are doing to the the one they are with. Including any innocents like kids that so often get caught up in that abismal patenting behavior.

I am the opposite. Because I am no hurry to have a commitment, I am not put off by the status. It kind of is a relief that they will not be rushing me to something serious and gives me time to really get to know and befriend them FIRST.

the ONLY concern for me is the emotional status of the other partner, if they are secure with them dating or talking to others,,,,because I don't do drama