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Topic: Love, Trust and Lies.
no photo
Wed 04/05/17 05:21 PM
Edited by Cheeriosoo on Wed 04/05/17 05:43 PM
I Love someone. I trusted this amazing women. I realized she lie. My life experience, after many years living with a liar that promise and never change. I promise myself to be careful and do not fall in the same situation. So here I am again. My heart is in shambles. Love, Trust or Lies is the question. How can we compare and weight these three?

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Thu 04/06/17 11:16 AM
Can we forgive a person that lie to a point that we can get back together?

mightymoe's photo
Thu 04/06/17 12:28 PM

Can we forgive a person that lie to a point that we can get back together?
who knows... I would suggest that you step back and get a grip on other things besides whoever it is... But dwelling on them isn't going to help, it just makes wanna ask (dumb, possibly?) Questions like this one...

mzrosie's photo
Thu 04/06/17 12:37 PM


Can we forgive a person that lie to a point that we can get back together?
who knows... I would suggest that you step back and get a grip on other things besides whoever it is... But dwelling on them isn't going to help, it just makes wanna ask (dumb, possibly?) Questions like this one...


moe is right. Step back!

According to Psychology Today...

"Only fate can determine whether a relationship was meant to be. ... So, if you let someone go, they will come back if that's your destiny."

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... sometimes destiny sucks tho' :(




no photo
Thu 04/06/17 12:42 PM
Edited by Cheeriosoo on Thu 04/06/17 12:46 PM


Can we forgive a person that lie to a point that we can get back together?
who knows... I would suggest that you step back and get a grip on other things besides whoever it is... But dwelling on them isn't going to help, it just makes wanna ask (dumb, possibly?) Questions like this one...


Thank You Moe.

I agree, what I will like to ask is others opinions on this matter. I place Love, Trust and as part of trust, Lies on a same level. So I wonder if the three are as strong as impose on stepping back as one of them may fall.

no photo
Thu 04/06/17 12:43 PM
Thank You Rosie. shades

Tom4Uhere's photo
Thu 04/06/17 01:27 PM
The only one you can change is yourself.
I married a liar and it hurt.
I learned not to be so damn gullible.

sweetrose76's photo
Thu 04/06/17 01:31 PM
That's hard to say am in same thoughts but other thoughts says not don't be silly

no photo
Thu 04/06/17 01:39 PM

The only one you can change is yourself.
I married a liar and it hurt.
I learned not to be so damn gullible.


Thank You Tom,

I deeply believe that we can not control nor change anyone. This is one of the reason Love, Trust and Lies are like a tool for me not to get hurt.

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Thu 04/06/17 01:42 PM

That's hard to say am in same thoughts but other thoughts says not don't be silly


Hi SweetRose,

This sound interesting, can you be so kind to elaborate.

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Thu 04/06/17 03:36 PM
Something I forgot to mention, this are tools that help me from getting destroyed again, another reason why I brought it up here.

sdeborah23's photo
Thu 04/06/17 03:50 PM
wow yes

PacificStar48's photo
Thu 04/06/17 04:05 PM
Edited by PacificStar48 on Thu 04/06/17 04:23 PM
When someone rocks your faith in relationships it takes a conscious effort to heal. And usually takes some time.

Liars exist everywhere but there are some places they seem kind of pervasive. One place I find you can pretty much count on bumping into liars are places I kind of call fantasy playgrounds. Places people drink, gamble,vacation, or go to do something out of the norm like business conferences even sometimes where people put on an out of the ordinary social front like weddings or company parties. Of course being on line where people usually edit out their faults.

If you go into those environments with the blinders off they can be fun but just know the real world view is probably a safer place to do your search.
I think if you realize you have been have been given two of several of your senses and apply that at least with one not filtered by your heart or your hormones.
Usually liars have tells if you are just willing to spot them. I know people sometimes fib to spare feelings but if someone pulls those little lies on others you can bet the y are going to do it too you.

Think about the people who have lied to you, don't just obsess on one, and I bet you see times when they lied to parents, running buddies, employers. Often they tell lies that they don't even need to tell.


no photo
Thu 04/06/17 04:46 PM
love and trust should go together...loyalty cannot be bought...trust is earned ... only time can reveal all its true presence but with each ones desire and effort.

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Thu 04/06/17 05:47 PM
Thanks to all that reply here,it help me view this concept better. What I can understand, when dealing with this situation, step back is the action to do, I did step back, not sure if I will allowed it back in my life. I am not the only one that has walk this road. Whether we accepted in our life or not and I am not letting it in my life, when people do this, we can positively say that they are not going to change. It saddens me how lies can destroy a relationship. :pensive:

no photo
Thu 04/06/17 06:19 PM
Edited by Unknow on Thu 04/06/17 06:20 PM
All I can add to what has already been said is that after stepping back and assessing only move forward to something positive. If you need to, make a list of the positives and negatives of the person. If the negatives outweigh the positives (and not all attributes are weighted equally) they are most likely toxic to your life. Do you want to move forward with someone toxic?

IgorFrankensteen's photo
Thu 04/06/17 06:31 PM
If you are making the same mistake again and again, it usually means that you've misidentified your real problem.

There is a difference between TRUST, and CLOSING YOUR EYES AND MAKING ASSUMPTIONS. Many people don't seem to realize that.

It seems that many people fear that love is magic, and the magic will go away if they don't blindly allow anyone who says "I love you" to get away with ANYTHING.

PacificStar48's photo
Thu 04/06/17 06:44 PM

If you are making the same mistake again and again, it usually means that you've misidentified your real problem.

There is a difference between TRUST, and CLOSING YOUR EYES AND MAKING ASSUMPTIONS. Many people don't seem to realize that.

It seems that many people fear that love is magic, and the magic will go away if they don't blindly allow anyone who says "I love you" to get away with ANYTHING.


AMEN to this So True as painful as it may be to admit.
TRUE LOVE does not inflict pain on a mate out of selfishness. Which is the core of any lie.

dreamerana's photo
Thu 04/06/17 07:06 PM

I Love someone. I trusted this amazing women. I realized she lie. My life experience, after many years living with a liar that promise and never change. I promise myself to be careful and do not fall in the same situation. So here I am again. My heart is in shambles. Love, Trust or Lies is the question. How can we compare and weight these three?


Without knowing the nature of what brought foryh this conversation, it's harder to make a determination.
While i understand about lising trust and that it negatively impacts your relationship, the question you're asking is do you firgive and go back?
Many times we need to learn to forgive for our own peace of mind. For our own healing. That takes time and making the choice to be positive.
As for going back, that could be like breaking an arm and then going back to the same obstace and breaking a leg too.
Only you can determine that.
I'm not asking you to publicly answer on a forum. However consider for your own thought, is the thing she was lying about something you can move forward from or not? Like is she hiding an addiction?
If that were the case you could offer places that could help. However tge desire to get better has to come from herself.
Is the lying about something else that goes against your values? Are you willing to sacrifice your beliefs?
I can tell you from experience that when you change because someone else doesn't, you begin to dislike yourself and also resent the person you are with.
It takes a lot longer to heal from that than from having your heart broken.
I wish you the best

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Thu 04/06/17 07:55 PM
Thank You all again.

Dreamerana, I hear and read your concerns, you are so correct and at the point. From my first relationship of many years, I let pass many lies, till the last one that I said enough. I promise myself to respect myself and not to allowed this situation again in my life. So then comes my present relationship, I found a lie, up to a point I can forgive, but staying true to myself I rather not. This is because , even I truly love this human being, which I think she is unique in many ways, this lie brought me back to my last relationship. That I know, just one lie.

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