MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive,
press 1 repeatedly.

If you are codependent,
please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities,
press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.
Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional,
press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic,
listen carefully and a little voice will
tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive,
it doesn't matter which number you press,
nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic,
press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar,
please leave a message
after the beep
or before the beep
or after the beep.
Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss,
press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss,
press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss,
press 9.

If you have low self-esteem,
please hang up.
Our operators are too busy
to talk with you.

If you are menopausal,
put the gun down,
hang up,
turn on the fan,
lie down and cry.
! You won 't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde,
don't press any buttons,
you'll just mess it up.

That is too funny- I am all of the above (except blonde) LOL

ROFLMAO.....22222222222222222222222 funny!!! Thanx for the great laugh.

That was trully cool dude????

thats great lmao

i try not to press a button

That is one of the BEST jokes I have ever read!!!! LMAOFOTF!

hmmm wait im back again,,and the some that do know me,,can tell u im
dame funny,,,lol,,thanks for the love,,and more to come

that was the shit

lol

digging up a old one here for the new people

that was cute