Topic: Social Cues
ome317's photo
Sat 05/13/17 07:45 PM
I've been struggling with this all day. I had a very beautiful woman walking around me the other day. First she stopped next to me to stare at the menu. Then she went and looked at the whole selection of fillings for the buritos. Then she circles around me to look at the menu again. Then switches sides on me. It seemed like she wanted to talk to me, but I just say I'm imaging things. Just like when I was working out this beautiful woman makes eye contact with me and then proceeds to get on the eliptical in front of me. I'm a gentleman but I'm only human. So question how can you tell when a woman wants you to talk to her? Am I just imagining it? It drives drives me nuts because I don't just want to be some ego boost for a stuck up hot chick.I know I'm not the best looking guy so I just try and ignore it but no great love story started with "Well she walked up to me and said I have beautiful eyes and we hit it off". Bring the sarcastic comments but I do struggle with this and could use some advise too.

RustyKitty's photo
Sat 05/13/17 07:48 PM
You are not going to hit the ball if you don't take a swing.. ha, how's that for a metapor?
If YOU find her attractive as well, use your charm..

soufiehere's photo
Sat 05/13/17 07:57 PM
Men have it much more difficult than women when
it comes to making the first move, tis expected
of them, not so much of us.

But, opportunities missed, often never come again.
Men need a tough skin in the dating game.
They are used to the odds.

Older people will say without fail that the things
they regretted most in life were the opportunities
not taken.

Like Kitty says, swing the bat, your inning will come.

no photo
Sat 05/13/17 08:33 PM
i wish i knew what advice to give you ome i havent had that opportunity to show any guy that i am interested . when i was younger i just look at my crush from afar and contain all my giggles and sighs to myself lol

no photo
Sat 05/13/17 09:35 PM
how can you tell when a woman wants you to talk to her?

Maybe I should, but I don't really care.
If she wants to talk to me, I'll respond when she does.
If she wants me to talk to her but she doesn't really want to do anything about it, I have no desire to play the "I only communicate indirectly, drag my interest in you out of me" game.

I will talk to her if I want to talk to her.
It's easier to tell when she doesn't want you to talk to her.
As long as you aren't trying to impede her progress in some way and/or forcing her to listen to you, it doesn't really hurt to try to talk to her.

Other than that, what are you going to say to her that you need to know she wants you to talk to her first? "Hey, let's date! Gimme your number now! I wanna try to get you pregnant! Raaarrr!" then rip your shirt off like the hulk?

You're in a burrito place. She's checking out the menu. Recommend something. Hand her a take out menu if she's jumping around trying to read the big one. Tell her what you're getting and ask her opinion.
Put your lips slightly together and blow...through your vocal cord and make sound, manipulate the sound into words.


I don't just want to be some ego boost for a stuck up hot chick

Why not? Do you think you lose something?
Personally, I'd rather know that I had the balls or temerity or whatever and could utter words to an attractive stranger, but have it turn into an ego boost for a stuck up hot chick, than live in my own head wondering and judging.

What makes you feel worse: finding out an attractive stranger is stuck up? Or constant rejection by lack of success on an internet dating site that you keep going back to?

could use some advise too.

My advice would be not approaching it like a conquest to fulfill your ideal goal of dating or a relationship or a number or a hot chick or to establish an interest in you.
That way leads to it being adversarial, ulterior motives using conversation to get something out of her; interest, information, status.

My advice, in situations like in the OP, is to approach conversation like you're on a team with her, rather than playing on a different team against her attempting to win something from her.
She's already going in there with a me vs. chipotle (or wherever) mindset.
Better to make it an us vs chipotle mindset than a me vs. chipotle and vs. some guy mindset.
Complement her purpose for being there, her fulfillment.
Don't impede it by trying to give her a different purpose.

no1phD's photo
Sat 05/13/17 09:55 PM
Women look at me all the time !..but usually when I'm at the grocery store..
They look at me and .. ask me to reach something off the top shelf for them...
Lol... I never know if they're hitting on me or they truly need the item off the top shelf.. I pretty much figured they just need the item.... but it happens to me all the time!!...hmmm. nice to be handy... I guess..... but what I can't figure out! is even the taller women want me to help them out....
Maybe they just have sore arms...

Lol