I figured I'd post something here. It's long past the time I should be sleeping but I can't help myself. I doubt that I'm the only one that feels this way and I'm sure there's ladies out there of a similar mind.

Given my age, which is only 27, I feel oddly... old. Which is funny because despite feeling old I spend most of my time trying to be a kid lost in imaginary fantasy realms. People can call me immature, or tell me to grow up. I am going to say this: no.

Given I've lived through my parents divorce. Survived two relationships that self destructed based on trauma from my past. I can say that being an "adult" is not the answer. Handling life like an adult, and talking to people respectfully is fine. Just leave what makes me happy out of it. I'm not ashamed of my fantasies, or my personality.

Moving on from that though. Haven't you ever felt tired, and yes I'm sure many of you have, of the fact that you want to achieve a relationship that lasts until you're both old and in rocking chairs on a porch in front of some retirement home?

I'm pretty sure there's a ton of unshakable "yes" people out there. Men and women both. I have to say I think the culprit is society at large, for why relationships end up collapsing.

Before we had the internet, technology, advertising, and social pressure... we spend more time using phones, letters, and struggling to find time to meet up with someone we bumped into while out and about in the world.

That's not to say the technology is bad, nor the speed. What's bad is what corporations and advertising firms have brainwashed us with.

I'm a fan and follower of a video series called Adam Ruins Everything. Fact is, he doesn't. He just states the truth.

Marriage has been enslaved from being something Godly and of Love, to something about debt inducing parties, dresses you'll only wear once which have nothing to do with virginity. Diamond rings which to me are not romantic. Its just a rock. A hunk of pressurized carbon that was ejected from a volcano at one point in time.

Good job, you spent your life savings on something that's a natural phenomenon.

I feel a lot of relationships would be more successful if we stopped thinking about money. Material possessions don't follow you when you die you know.

I'm being morbid and depressing I feel, but its a brutal fact. The thing that's special about relationships, is that you are giving your heart to someone else. Not your physical heart, but your very soul. There is not a single thing on this earth that I would trade my heart and soul for... accept someone else's.

The way a relationship stands the test of time... is through the fires of purification that are all due to those times you run into each other head on. Fight, hurt, and wonder if its worth it.

The answer? If your partner shows clear efforts and energy and action to change and improve... YOU SHOULD STICK WITH THEM. Its going to suck sometimes. However when we talk constantly about what we don't want, we attract that and end up seeing only that.

When we enter into relationships we should straighten up, face the enemy before us that is failures, mistakes, and communication issues. Then tell that enemy, "I will get through this, because that is what this is worth to me."

Anyways. That's how I feel. I'm poor as dirt and only have shelter, food, water, and cloths. I honestly think I'm happier with less than I would be with more. Because what I am rich in is untouchable. In my fantasy world, that I go through life with. I am the richest man in the world. Because I'm rich in heart, and in spirit.

Thoughts? Feel free to leave them.

That moment when you reply to your own post. I wanted to state that this is unfiltered from my mind. Its raw emotion and opinion. I do not think I'm better than anyone else.

Self indulgent rationalizing I guess....

At 27 you have a fair grasp on things for what you need.
However, application of ideals only works when the conditions are ideal.

I see many things others don't. Not because they are hidden but because most don't want to look. As we age, we build up delusions about reality that get in the way. Some call them walls. Others just don't care, right now.

The 'world' has a way of beating you down. It changes you.
We exist in a stream of moments. Every moment things cause us to change. Sometime barely a little sometime a whole lot.

When a relationship starts to fail it is because things have changed for both. That moment, or series of moments gets lost in the changes. We fail to accept the changes, trying to hold onto that which was.

Sometimes people change for the worst. They lose their way with those they love. Sometimes we lose our way too. To make it work, it requires both parties to accept or make changes. Give a little, accept a little. Sounds easy but its not.

I had a 25 year relationship with a woman I thought I would grow old and die with. Too many unacceptable changes, on both our parts made that impossible. There are many couples that last much longer and finally fail, it happens. There are likewise many that don't fail. Why? The ability to embrace changes.

You will change. Life will change you. I hope you keep a copy of your ideals and pull them out in 30 years and have a look. I'm wondering if you will be surprised at where your life takes you?

Welcome to Mingle2
I hope you find what you are looking for here.

That's not the first time I've heard that. I don't feel like it is? Then again maybe that's the deception my brain is shrouding me in. It's difficult. Lol.

This was beautiful. I hope to get to know you better as someone to talk to. I crave experience and mentorship. I want to grow and improve. I honestly do. I take the steps to do so every day, every hour. Sometimes things seem to collapse in front of me and I trip. This is the first time I've stepped out to actually see the world, and utilize the people around me. Before now I just kept silent, kept in the dark. All that ever did was cause more problems.

Thank you so much for the encouragement and the life wisdom. I'll be happy to soak it up and graft it into my personality and goals. See you again amongst the forums hopefully.

Thanx


There are many very sharp minds here in these forums. You can learn a lot about a lot of different life topics. Spend some time reading back a few pages.

Something that I like to say is:

Intelligence is the ability to use knowledge and other's wisdom to gain experience.