Over the course of my life , I have often heard the phrase "I don't condone it, but I understand it"


The term is used to reflect that although something is not the right choice or the moral choice, it is not a clear reflection of the character of the person or should not be an indictment against the character of the person overall.

For example, there was a girl group growing up that I loved. I heard one speaking one day about how she did not like men, men were dogs,,,etc

Having all brothers, this initially offended me and lessoned my opinion of the female. Then I heard about her life and how often and terribly men had abused or hurt her. I then UNDERSTOOD why she would feel what she felt. She is older now and has grown, as we all should try to do so long as we are breathing, and no longer feels this way according to her.

If there is anyone who still is growing, it is the young, which is why I tend to cut them slack and hope for reactions that will aid them in growing instead of just sticking them in a condemned box and forgetting about them/throwing them away.

I wonder how many times we condemn people for their wrong choices without trying to understand. Do you see two people who commit the same act in a different light based upon what you have come to understand about them or their lifes experiences? Or is everyone , regardless of the experiences that impact them, worthy of being blanketly condemned for doing (or saying something) wrong?

Consider the following:
I don't accept it but I can tolerate it.
I reject it but I will allow you.

Accepting and rejecting others actions has different meaning when considering the reason for the assessment in the first place.
As a father, raising children I accepted and rejected those they were in contact with on a different scale than how I accept or reject others concerning myself.

This is because my children were impressionable and without guidance they could make the 'wrong' choices according to the teaching I deem important to their survival. My job as a parent was to teach my children to survive. I did not 'condone' anything that was not in alignment with my teachings.

As an adult, I have different rejection/acceptance criteria that is more lax than those I set for my family. That is because I understand that others are not me and have the freedom to do as they choose.

If I encounter something I cannot accept I steer clear of it because I don't want that in my life.
I don't see the world around me in the light of constant assessment. I don't make judgements on people unless I need to because they are in my circle.

When I do make judgements I tend to always give the benefit of doubt. I tend to see the world in a positive light now. People have to do something to make me consider condemnation. It is not an automatic appraisal.

Being totally alone in this world has changed how I see other people.
People are not automatically important to me.
A person must first be within my daily life for me to consider what it is they might have to offer me. Everyone else is just chaff, moving about in the background of my existence.

When I go into walmart at night and I see some people I don't pass judgement on their appearances but I do notice their strange ways. I just consider that they are different and give it no mind. Who cares, I certainly don't. No matter how messed up a stranger is, it doesn't affect my own quality of life.

Once again, another discrimination topic.
Try just accepting that other people do not exist to win your favor. Most of the time you are not even in the equation. People do what they do, are how they are and anything personal you might assign to their actions is a one-way assessment.

I wonder how many times we condemn people for their wrong choices without trying to understand..

My answer would be, many times but in the end compassion, kindness and forgiveness is always a winner.

Not really.

I have experienced many times when compassion, kindness and forgiveness has made things worse for me. But, if it works for you that should be what matters.

I don't see myself as standing on moral high-ground at all times.
I tend to see others as equals until they affect me persoanlly then I may look up or down at they traits but only as an observation.

Jusdgements are reserved for those that share my daily life and even those are slanted to the positive.

Yep, I'm guessing that's exactly what the parents, loved ones are thinking about the terrorists who killed people in London and cities in the usa!

Mikey, I imagine that not all of them are thinking the same thing

so , some or many just might share Rosemary's thoughts,,,

Oh, definitely, I'm not mocking rosemary, I know a few people do find it in their thoughts to do that, but I've not met anyone who has felt that way.

yes, it is not the 'norm' to be forgiving,,,

those who are , to me, are treasures,,,

And yes, it is all to easy to condemn someone, problem is these days, we get 99%of our information from the media. so really your just condemning someone of information from a 3rd party and not your own opinion.

Don't get me wrong ms
I'd give forgiveness where forgiveness is due

Don't judge someone till you walk a mile in their shoes.
Hard to do.. but if you understand a person and their past, you can understand what lead to the decisions they made.. for good or bad.
Have a great day everyone.

See, that's my point.

In today's world, many people concern themselves with things that do not directly affect them. They pass judgements not knowing all the facts or the person they are passing judgement on.


This is true but consider the same idea as...
I'd judge where judgement is due.

Just because someone exists is not reason to pass a judgement on them. It requires some reason a judgement is needed. Simply taking offense at someone is not a reason to pass a judgement on them. There is no need for forgiveness for them being themselves.
Forgiveness is for when someone does you wrong and you allow it to pass.

I don't feel the need to forgive a murderer if he didn't murder anyone important to me. He is just one of many individuals existing at the same time as I. It is terrible for others and I understand their pain and resentment at his actions but personally, I have no stump to stand on.

We personally judge people every day, idiot driving, good looking, doesn't know what they are talking about, like them, don't like them and it goes on.
Forgive a minor thing but don't do it again
Personal forgiveness, but we are not in a position to forgive someone who has committed a crime against another.

Personally I use them all the time don't leave home without one or two or three..
But once I feel comfortable with the person and know a little of their history then i leave them in the nightstand...
Ohhh.. it said condone not condom.opps

of course, I believe rosemary was not using the terms in an all inclusive sense, but as options based upon the circumstances.

when someone does us personally wrong -forgiveness
when someone does wrong against others - compassion and kindness


there was a courtroom show I used to watch that had a phrase I connected with

'serving justice with compassion',,,,,,

I started reading and thought, wtf is he on about

Thank you, Ms. Harmony.

.. no worries I often think that about myself as well..lol