Topic: Widowed dad with a young daughter
BooksnMusic's photo
Mon 10/16/17 02:51 PM
I'm brand new to dating three years after my wife's passing, and we were together eighteen years. At this point I'm ready to move forward. I've been on a two dates, one went well, the other not so much. My frustration is that almost all the responses I get seem to either want an instant family, or want me to be available at the drop of a hat. My daughter is seven and has been through a tremendous trauma, and I'm not going to introduce someone into her life if I'm not reasonably confident it will last beyond a few dates. I'm also not divorced, I don't share her with an ex. It's all the time, with support from some amazing friends. Plus I have a career. I'm finding it difficult to communicate that I want to start slow and casual, no long term expectations. I also don't need a hookup, casual sex or naked pictures. I realize this is a vent more than a conversation starter, but for the women, what are your thoughts on this. And for any widowed, younger fathers, I'd love to hear your experiences. There's not a lot of us around (which is a good thing). Cheers and be well.

vin201745's photo
Sun 12/03/17 03:15 PM
I am not a father. I wondering though. Maybe you need a female friend. Not a date?

no photo
Fri 12/15/17 11:39 PM
I do think it's a conversation starter! But unfortunately my advice is to just be patient. You know what you can accommodate and you know what's best for your lifestyle and your daughter. Stay true to that and someone will come who appreciates that :blush:

Bubbuz's photo
Tue 04/10/18 05:27 PM

I'm brand new to dating three years after my wife's passing, and we were together eighteen years. At this point I'm ready to move forward. I've been on a two dates, one went well, the other not so much. My frustration is that almost all the responses I get seem to either want an instant family, or want me to be available at the drop of a hat. My daughter is seven and has been through a tremendous trauma, and I'm not going to introduce someone into her life if I'm not reasonably confident it will last beyond a few dates. I'm also not divorced, I don't share her with an ex. It's all the time, with support from some amazing friends. Plus I have a career. I'm finding it difficult to communicate that I want to start slow and casual, no long term expectations. I also don't need a hookup, casual sex or naked pictures. I realize this is a vent more than a conversation starter, but for the women, what are your thoughts on this. And for any widowed, younger fathers, I'd love to hear your experiences. There's not a lot of us around (which is a good thing). Cheers and be well.

I was married for 13 years when my wife died 9 years ago now leaving me to raise two daughters aged 8 and 14, I tried dating but there was always a block/ barrier as if I was overly protecting my girls, I was scared of relationships not working and thus having a traumatic effect on them ( like re living the loss all over again ) so I think I didn't really give any relationship a chance because of being overly protective to my daughters ( if that makes sense ) In hindsight though I wish I'd have been more trusting and less protective as now my girls are all grown up and living happy lives but I've no one, its a tough one to call tbh, you'll know in your heart if the right person comes along. Sorry for your loss, you got this :thumbsup::thumbsup:...... Its not an easy road but you'll get through it, wish you all the best

Moonchild_hemp's photo
Sat 04/14/18 06:36 PM
I'm a single mom and is having the same struggle. It's a challenge to make people understand there is a part of your day that you need to devote to your child, and part of your payslip will be spent on non-negotiable needs. Single men just wanted to get it on fast and I keep thinking to myself "these guys will regret not taking their time to get to know a real potential mate"