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Topic: Feeling bored with husband and want to separate...
no photo
Tue 08/04/20 11:53 PM
there no late to try for our family and our personal happiness. spend more time with your friends and involve in physics activities

feelyoungagain's photo
Wed 08/05/20 08:07 AM

Im Asian women.I've married for 6ys. Im 27ys and i think im young . My husband is Asian man too. He 41ys. I have a boy 5ys. Im working everyday. But I always feel bored. My husband never understand me and he not really care about what I want. No gift, no wishing for special day... he seem just like his life... i live in Ireland with him and no friends no family... very congested


Hi there. I am no expert on marriage, but I have been in long-term relationships and I have some exposure to marital challenges in my career and from my grad school program. I would also try counseling. People change over time and since you are so young, you are certainly going to go through more changes and more significant ones as well than your older husband. That in itself is a challenge. It's easy for people to grow apart as they change. On top of that, it's already been 6 years. I would also look at yourself and not blame your husband for everything. That's toxic for any relationship. In addition to that, you may want to see if there are support groups for mothers in your community and you might also find some support groups online and have forum discussions like you have on here. It doesn't sound like you're bored. Rather, dissatisfied with your marriage. I can relate to living in different countries. Is there anyone at work with whom you see yourself being friends or acquaintances? You don't have to get personal with a work colleague, which I actually advise against, but perhaps spend a lunch break with someone just to serve as a positive distraction during the day. Good luck! You have a lot on your plate and a little boy to look after too.

no photo
Sun 08/09/20 11:08 AM
I'd rather be single and happy, than be in a relationship and feel alone

markyong's photo
Sun 08/09/20 11:15 AM
Hi pretty lady

delightfulillusion's photo
Sun 08/09/20 11:16 AM

Hi pretty lady


offtopic

no photo
Sun 08/09/20 12:04 PM
You got problems with your husband talk to him! Go to a councilor. You're just looking for someone to cheat with.

Shan_sham's photo
Sun 08/09/20 10:17 PM
Omg :flushed:

Shan_sham's photo
Sun 08/09/20 10:19 PM
Exactly right Thinking

no photo
Mon 08/10/20 05:12 AM
you cant change a person. they are who you married in the beginning. sounds like you need to get out and find a job or go to school. your husband isnt your entertainment. find something you enjoy doing.

Dinesh Raj's photo
Wed 08/12/20 11:41 PM
Ireland is such a beautiful place. You are still young. You can explore. Nobody gonna stop you dear.

stuyrob's photo
Sat 01/16/21 01:44 PM
He's a narcissist and a wanker leave him

Fanta's photo
Sat 01/16/21 02:09 PM
We are responsible for our own entertainment etc... that slapped me wide awake !
Thanks

Kevin's photo
Fri 05/28/21 10:58 AM


I think the meaning of life is happyness and if your not happy you need to do something about it, either get him to change and make you happy or change him for someone that does xx

Change is really really hard but if its right and you do it you will be happy.

Problem is, you acually believe you have the authority to tell another human being how they should feel and what they should do.

Yeah, and preaching is so damn simple. We too often forget that we're not just being rude, but being stupid too.

ivegotthegirth's photo
Tue 06/08/21 10:10 AM
Am I the only one who thinks this should be titled "Feeling bored with husband and want to kill him"?

huh

Wadeea gharsan's photo
Sat 07/15/23 08:42 AM
Im Asian women.I've married for 6ys. Im 27ys and i think im young . My husband is Asian man too. He 41ys. I have a boy 5ys. Im working everyday. But I always feel bored. My husband never understand me and he not really care about what I want. No gift, no wishing for special day... he seem just like his life... i live in Ireland with him and no friends no family... very congested

You are beautiful and I hope you live a sweet life

no photo
Sat 07/22/23 08:02 PM
The FIRST thing you should do is get off dating sites and participate in your own life. Get a hobby, find a craft or art project...something?

Next, you need to GROW UP.
You have a child that need its mother and father.
The moment you two decided to bring a new life into this world you became something more than two individuals.

No problem is completely one persons doing. It takes two to make a child and it takes two to make a loving relationship.
Perhaps you both need to work on your honest communication?

Set aside time where both of you can just sit and talk.
Communication is a two way activity. It is just as important to listen as it is to talk.

Consider the responsibility effect. When someone in a marriage faces overwhelming responsibility it wears on the soul. Consider his feelings of responsibility and praise, yes praise him for his efforts.

Ask him, with love, what he expects in life. Acknowledge what he says and remember what has become important to him. Once the honest communication returns you can address your boredom concerns.

From what you have written, It looks like he has closed down.
That you don't understand what he is going thru so he stops sharing it.

If you would do anything for the ones you love you should demonstrate it with actions. Shallow words only widen the rift.
Wishes and dreams are only possible if you take action to make them happen.

Make a list of the things you want to change.
Note the things that you can change yourself.
Note the things that you need his help to change.
Then make a list of the things that are good, that don't need to change.
Note the things that you do yourself.
Note the things that require his help.

Concentrate on the good things.
Say outloud - "That's a good thing" when they happen. Then smile.
Address the bad things as they happen.
Are they things that could have been avoided with an action earlier?
Are they things that are outside your personal control?
Learning which mistakes you make is not as important as learning how to avoid making them in the first place.
Never minimize your successes. Even the little ones.

Above all, try to remember that he is a human being that is unique. Just as you are unique. You will never look at the world thru his eyes, he will never look at the world thru your eyes.
The best you can do is hope for a mutual understanding.
You are you.
He is Him.
Together you can be unity or strangers.
Its really up to you, its YOUR life.

Thank You for this advice

no photo
Sat 07/22/23 10:28 PM
This thread is from 2017 !!! Hopefully the OP has sorted her life out . :angel:

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