Everyone's got their own unique 'built-in' stress type in love/relationship.
This is not a learnt thing, so it cannot be un-learnt. You're born with it.
Of course your partner has his/her type too, and it can totally clash with yours when there's upheaval in the relationship.
When you know about these types, it makes it easier to deal with, possibly even salvage a relationship.

I did the test, read about my type, and found it to be a major eye-opener. If only I had known this 2 decades ago, hihi.

Bear in mind: this is about when under relationship stress, so not your normal way of being.

Digital:
Mr Spock. Gets logical, calm, analytical, cut of from emotions. The partner's pleas will bounce off as if they hit a brick wall. This is not from malice. It's simply how they work under stress.

Tonal:
They can normally read between the lines, very intuitive and pick up subtle signals, and are seldom wrong with this. Unfortunately when under stress they do the same thing only then they misinterpret what is being said or meant. This is the type who takes things very personal. Others may think jump to conclusions, while it's just a matter of their antenna being upset. These ppl hurt a lot when under stress in relationship, because to them it IS personal.

Visual:
They get tunnel vision that undermines empathy, and they quickly assemble a vision of how things should be, more specifically, how YOU should be and what YOU should do.
They need you to look at them (may even say/demand this) and their eyes are very strong during a stressful encounter.

Kinesthetic:
These are more attuned to their partner's hurt than their own needs. They absorb the other's energy in their body and this hurts and upsets them. So their reaction to this is to turn off the source of that pain by soothing the partner. Clear thinking is not supported, they focus solely on the partner's needs, meaning their's isn't recognized nor met, not by themselves or their partner.

Take the test to find out yours (you could come up with 2, most have a primary and secondary type). if you focus on the worst possible scenario in a relationship and how you feel/react, you got your primary type.

Scroll down a wee bit:
http://signup.innersource.net/energies-of-love-landingpage/

I believe at one time or another I have experienced all listed descriptions.
Its been so long since I have been in a meaningful relationship with anyone I didn't take the test.

In other situations I am calm and have my wits about me. There's not much that ruffles my feathers anymore. I have seen others around me stress out over things I don't.

I have been in situations where catastrophes have been avoided because I was calm. Avoided car accidents because I had reactions that were sensible.

I guess it depends on who it is I am in the relationship with and what the stress is. Emergency stress is very different from argumentative stress. I wouldn't be in a meaningful relationship with a woman that is argumentative and emergencies are best handled with a clear head.

If a woman feels she needs to test me by making me mad, that's game playing and I don't want a relationship with a player. Been there, done that, learned it isn't a good type of relationship. Its dishonest and unnecessary.

Been a while since I was in a love relationship ... and I know I have changed a lot with my emotions ...


all i know is you should always have communication... and do not hold it in ... but never yell or scream your demands to your partner ...


wait till both have had a chance to calm down and then talk...about what may be bothering you or your partner ... neither needs to say something they may regret and damage the relationship ...
for more stress in the future ... I think I is how you start not say you ... its all I feel ... if I remember ...
I have read a lot through the years ...
and did try to apply ... this looks cool ... thanks for sharing ...

None of those specifically, and all of them, and more.
It is highly dependent upon my partner and our level of bonding and communication and interaction, not to mention my role and identity, how I see myself in the relationship.

That test seems only useful for people who are in 1 relationship, preferably for their entire life, so only really know 1 way of doing things, 1 way of communicating in a relationship.

It has nothing to do with how you changed, this is built-in.
I have changed too, yet when under serious relationship stress I still react the same way.
I had thought I'd changed that, but NYE 2016-2017 I had this thing that greatly upset me.
And I then reacted EXACTLY the way I'd done in the past. I thought I'd outgrown
that and was deeply shocked more by my own reaction than by what had gone down.
SHocked, because I seriously thought I didn't have that in me no more.
At the time I didn't know about these stress-types, but when I was in that much stress
at that moment I became that type again.
It's not something that easily surfaces. Often you have two types, a primary and secondary. This shocking one is my primary and only comes up
when I am under serious relationship stress. The kind that hardly ever
happens and the type of stress that no one but a partner who I love deeply
can cause in me.
In other stressful situations, the kind that is bad but doesn't rip my soul apart, I react as the secondary stress-type.

And Donna Eden and David Feinstein are dead on: you can NOT change this. Not even 50 years of learnt behaviour, therapy and so on can change this
nor stop these types from surfaces when under serious relationship stress.
I too have learnt to communicate in a healthy way. I made it into an artform. Took serious time and effort to learn it, master it, embody it.
Yet great stress bypasses all those 'subroutines' and you are straight in your stress-type.

I found it very good to know and read about my type. I actually cried. Could explain why I cried, not going to. Too personal, lol.
.
.
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Nope. You have a primary stress-type and many have a secondary type.
That's it. And you always become either one of those when under relationship stress.

When not under stress we all have various 'amounts' of all 4 types in us. But it's about stress-types, not about normal-state-of-being types.
Also not stress types in normal situations, but stress type when under relationship stress.

I posted a screenshot of my result but it got deleted. (Digital-40 score)

I just take another xanax, no stress.

Sorry, but yep.
You do have a primary stress-type and secondary type, even a tertiary really.
They're called flight, fight, and (now) freeze.
That's how people respond to major stress. Relationship, life, whatever.
The subsequent feelings and behavior are socially trained.
Through experience. The more experience, the more nuanced and complicated the response. The more nuanced and complicated the situation engendering the response, the more experience is relied upon.


Only if you're in a relationship long enough to develop (train) consistent patterns.
Unless you don't believe people do things like mirroring?
You don't believe indirect communication has any effect on people?
You don't believe automatic association, memory, experience, have any effect on peoples automatic responses?
You don't believe any past relationship (with all its mirroring, and effect on deep associations) has any effect on the brain whatsoever, it gets purged completely once it's over and you go back to an original pure state?
You don't believe people are unique and/or adaptable?


At best what is in the OP offers confirmation bias for people who want someone to tell them who they are.


The only time people don't really change is when their relationships tend to be shallow, a social facade, there is no incentive or need to change, the relationship fulfills a social purpose, not a biological one.
When people go through the biological pair bonding process their brain changes on the deep associative level.

People mirror each other, mostly without realizing it, adopting some of their partners mannerisms, tastes, humor, habits, beliefs.
This facilitates communication.
Communication is very little of what comes out of your mouth.
Most of it is indirect. Most indirect communication is an attempt to elicit indirect responses.
In order to significantly influence indirect communication (and thereby responses) to the ones desired/needed/clear you have to influence automatic association and automatic responses.
Flight/fight/freeze are automatic responses to stress.
If that happens during the biological pair bonding process, mirroring counts as experience, influencing deeper associative memory.
If mirroring happens during, say, a friendship, it does not really count as experience to a deep part of the brain.

There are behaviors we fall back on in situations we don't know how to deal with, but these were mostly trained in our childhood.
Adult relationships retrain childhood automatic responses.


Calling it "relationship stress" doesn't change the fact that it's stress.
Stress is stress. "Relationship stress" isn't magically different from any other type of stress.



Then we're all screwed and we should expect either an immediate increase in domestic violence and people constantly streaming out of cities running away, or people falling on the floor and just crying and fussing like babies.

Donna Eden and David Feinstein are trying to sell self help books.

What they are basically saying is under stress a persons focus diminishes, and their personal bias towards information processing does as well. They just went over to Myers Briggs, picked out the most common personality traits, then worked backwards.
Kind of like if John Edwards gave you your horoscope.