I need more inputs here if you know your partner didn’t mean to hurt you would you still take it against them? If your instant reaction is how to make the other person feel the same pain , for them to understand your own pain, would that be love? If you want to give a lesson must it be tough love? Dealing with our children is very different from a romantic relationship . I wonder if i am just dreaming to wish for a love that is so pure so loving and so nurturing never wanting to hurt or be the cause of hurt

I need more inputs here if you know your partner didn’t mean to hurt you would you still take it against them? If your instant reaction is how to make the other person feel the same pain , for them to understand your own pain, would that be love? If you want to give a lesson must it be tough love? Dealing with our children is very different from a romantic relationship . I wonder if i am just dreaming to wish for a love that is so pure so loving and so nurturing never wanting to hurt or be the cause of hurt

Triple post

Communication !

A simple unintended misinterpretation can be taken badly. I'm misinterpreted all the time. Make your meanings clear and simple and well understood. But don't sound patronising, authoritarian or angry.

If you can't fix the issue or lessen the pain with word or action, then distance and time may be needed; like not pulling a scab off, give it time to heal and leave it alone for a while. Sometimes doing nothing is the answer.

If someone hurts or annoys me too much I give them warning, and if it continues I just go, sometimes forever.

Hopefully you can avoid such drastic action with communication.

Scepticalsoulmate you are a considerate thinker; don't hurt yourself with overthinking and over analysing too much, go and have some fun yourself and get lightened up, too much heavy navel gazing is bad for you. I do it myself.

What will be, will be. Other people have to help themselves get over issues, and not bring you down with their internal conflicts, inflexibility, unacceptance, or whatever.

Agree with the gent above .. A simple unintended misinterpretation can be taken badly. .. yup, any kind of stuff happens mostly because of misunderstandings. Easy to break, hard to fix. And try to explain later, what did you really mean by this or that, if the damage has been done. The other party won't listen to your excuses just because he/she believes, what he/she wants to believe and that really knows all the truth already .. and that leads usually to mutual accusations.
Time will heal the wounds .. Before taking any actions I'd sit down and analize, what went wrong and why and what can be done. Would take some time to think of and let things cool down a little.
Sorry is so hard to say sometimes, but can make miracles. I'd say sorry that caused you so much pain .. and .. you're still so dear to me ..
Yup, I believe that things can be sorted out, if we still can talk to each other

A considerate thinker ... thank you. I always thought i am just a complicated mind i will remember your advice

Yes Mr B .... the will to communicate and understand with so much patience and love and nurturing is the key. But hurting someone you love intentionally is not in line with this surely

Complicated minds? I heard that being said about me quite often. But I am only hiding a lot of stuff, and only talk about more private stuff to a person, I really trust.

It is all about empathy, a quality not many people have. Dunno, if this might even be related to being a considerate thinker. It possibly is.

If someone is an empath then surely that person would want another person to feel better?

what i do ?? can you say what i do??

I do think i don’t know

Aye. An empathic person would feel, that his partner is not happy and do something to make her feel better. It is some sort of intuition.

I wonder what rules our intuition...is it our minds or our hearts and also if it is never wrong ? In my case i dont know if its active

Intuition is always coming from our heart. Because our mind wants to make plans ... and I never had any plans to develop feelings towards another person again. Ah well, my heart was stronger

Thanks for that opinion. Our heart speak through our intuition . If it feels right . If it feels good . When our mind interferes it gives reasons for us not to feel that way therefore making simple things more complicated than it should. I am guilty of this lol. Skepticism is my armour and pessimism a tool sometimes the heart does win and in my case it wins to lose or is it lose to win

Ah well, maybe it is wrong to think and to contemplate all the time. Maybe it's better to enjoy what's happening now and to relish every moment. The future will come eventually.

Personally, I don't want anybody feeling hurt or sadness because of me, whether I love them or not.

I do know that I can't control anyone else's feelings but my own.
I will try to ask why they are having those feelings but unless they honestly tell me, there is nothing I can do.
If they do tell me and it is something I had done that wronged them I will ask how to undo the hurt because it is their hurt and only they will know what is needed to make it be alright again.
If they can tell me, I do it.

While I do feel sad when people I love are sad, it is empathy and not really true sadness. Since I don't actively hurt the people I love, chances are it is a perception/expectation type of feeling in them.
If that is the case, I will explain my reasons for doing or saying what I did that brings them pain. I am a decisive person. I usually do not do or say things I don't mean. But I am also human, so sometimes my emotional state gains control (happens less now than ever before in my life). But, it can still happen.

I realize that sometimes, no matter what you do or say, it won't fix those hurt feelings. I apologize and move on with life. Its up to the other to forgive or not.

I have a son that is hurt by me ending my marriage to his mother. I tried to explain that I had to do what is best for me because it is my life, after all. He sees it as cheating his family from the loving grandpa/grandma experience. While I agree, I remain steadfast with my decision. I can only hope that someday, he will understand. It has affected our relationship (on his end).
While it hurts me, It is the way it has to be until he finds forgiveness for me.

Hello Tom you’re story brought me back to my past as well I believe that we dont set out to hurt people we love as we are just human after all and mostly react to situations without thinking. Not everyone will try to repair a damage that has been done and that makes us all different in the relationship department. Good to know you are one of those who love and truly do his best not to cause pain

Well said Lars now all we need to do is live in that thought and keep it

That would be a great idea alright

Seems though, I have a Third Eye ...