Hi Sis, Great post! And yes, that's the right term, "Call their bluff". I've often wanted to do that as well. It would be interesting to see who's words are true and who's words were "just words".

I've wondered the same as far as what it would take. And I have been the one who has done the traveling. I've met a couple online recently. My journey with seasonal work makes it more possible for me to do so

Aside from an interest in meeting them, it takes money to travel. Airfare, food and lodging, and transportation expenses. My recent journey with seasonal work has helped make it possible for me to do so, but if I were still in Florida at my other job, it would have been more difficult. Getting time off from work and being able to afford little vacations isn't always easy. Not many are willing to spend that kind of money to go meet someone they may never see again.

Right now I'm trying to plan my seasonal work to be near some of the others I'd like to meet. For me this makes more sense. I don't have a regular job anymore, hurricane Irma was a blessing in disguise. So I'm in a position to be able to travel, meet and greet, and work at the same time.

I'm out of time, gotta get ready for work. Have a great night Sis

My first thought or reaction to this, was that almost every time I see someone do this, it wasn't the guy "going the extra mile," in the sense that that idiom is meant to apply. It was that the guy was both desperate and delusional. For example, I have witnessed several of what I would have to call "romantic fads" over the years, here in the US, where certain segments of the male community get it into their heads that "Pacific rim women are immune to the influence of feminism, so they will be the kind of wives we fantasized about from the 1950's."

But then I also remembered some experiences I've had with myself, where I got a sort of crush on someone who was very far away, and who I seriously thought I would want to actually "go that extra many miles" for. I now know I never can, due to my existing circumstances, but that's another story. If I were much younger, and didn't have the need to remain where I am that I do, and had more possibilities for uprooting my life than I do, then I probably would have gone half way round the planet to take a chance like that.
Now. There would still be limits. Mainly, since I have never been desperate and self-delusional enough to think that the ACT of traveling like that would cause things to work out, I would only make the journey and take the chance, if I already wanted to travel to that particular country anyway.

Real example: a couple of times, I have observed some very wonderful Australian women, here and on other forums, who I could easily imagine finding myself enthralled by in person. I would love to travel to see Australia up close, so if I didn't have the other limitations I suffer from, I would be willing to make the journey to see those women.

What I would NOT be doing, is I would NOT be relying on success with those women, in order to have the journey feel like a good investment to me. I would have to believe that I would benefit from the visit to that country itself, in order to make the trip.

In short, in my case at least, no matter how much I admired the woman from afar, I don't have the belief in "love conquers all" or whatever romanticized fantasy you like, that would make it possible for me to think that I would make my dreams come true that way. So even though I really do think that I could have a wonderful life with one of those women, I did not try to make it happen, and never seriously considered trying. It has to do, I suppose, with the limits I have come to believe that things like love, really do have.

I understand that one or both of us would have to almost completely discard the life we had where we were, in order to make things work. And doing that is a VERY big thing, not to be entered into just because of a strong attraction.

I will just continue to periodically wish that the planet were only a few hundred miles around, instead of 24,000.

I guess, more than anything else, I want to say that it isn't the qualities or lack of them in THE WOMAN which decide this for me, it's the qualities and limitations that I have, which do so. If the same woman were ALREADY in my area, everything would be very different.

Thanks for posting sis and confirming the calling their bluff term. It’s good you have had a chance to meet others and at the same time work on own personal goals. Maybe if I am around your area someday we could have real coffee and fairy talk while looking for steak? take care sis

That was the only overseas trip I've done except a weeks holiday in Tasmania many years ago with my then wife.many people are traveling now with fares becoming cheaper.. sometimes!!

Where have you traveled to?

Take the risk or remain single hhhmmm that’s an interesting thought there blondey. I will be thinking about that tonight thanks again.

Take the risk or remain single hhhmmm that’s an interesting thought there blondey. I will be thinking about that tonight thanks again.

Blondey has a good point Sis.

And chances are they aren't going to be the ones to make the first move, so maybe we need to go to them to give them reason to make the second move

Hello Igor this is what I said about crushing my fairy tale mind lol. Anyways you tell it as it is and what is true for you. I appreciate it. But the part about being desperate and self delusional can also be called just taking a risk and seeing possibilities too right? That’s what blondey tried to point out to me. You will only know till you try. So you say a strong attraction does not merit going the extra mile and you are not going to meet someone even if you had a unique connection? The practicalities would always be first ? Am I right?

I would do every background check Known to man and then some..before you make any move...

I have been to a few countries but I don’t want to brag about it here . I wish to see more of the world though. I do have itchy feet lol

Hmm .. that's a good question and so many different ways to answer .. I'd say that's the same genuine desire to get to know unknown .. to explore something new and not experienced before .. human curiosity, which has always been the main driving force for the whole mankind ..
Well .. as of me .. being an adventurous soul, I'd take that route as a chance to see the world, new wonderful places and the people, to learn ..
Yup, It won't be easy .. probably have to sacrifice a pile of money and waive many of the conveniences, but the whole journey would be definitely worth it .. something to remember in old age and tell the grandkids as an unbelievable story some day about their granpa's adventures .. :))
Oops! .. seems I have totally forgotten about the girl .. well, guess the girl will be a bonus for the whole thing ..

Darn my twisted sense of humour .. but yup, basically that's the way I see it ..

Hhhhhmmm can we go together sis?

yes that is one good advice there

And all this time I thought it was summer and spring that would make you do that MrBee but I’m glad you remembered the girl is the major reason thanks for the honesty and your thoughts on the matter sir .

Let me add ..me being a dad and all..let's say you are on skype..out of the

blue I would ask him to produce identification...some way to validate who he

is..people can be anyone on the internet. You do your due diligence..I don't

care what people say ..and I'm not trying to scare you..I just want you to

be safe...

Thanks Dad your concern is truly appreciated here. You are right it’s a jungle out there and I agree with being cautious. Blessings to you

And you too..my child..lol...you take care of yourself..

Thank you so much

Ok if the scenario is like the guy would say he would visit but never does.... why would he even mention it in the first place???? Is it like a test or something? He would say he would go the extra mile but doesn’t follow through. Should the girl call his bluff and say she will come instead? would this be ok guys?

Well I can't speak for anyone else..but if he says he would go the extra mile and doesn't ..tells you something about him already ..doesn't it..Words are words and nothing more until one proves what they say..I just want all you ladies to be safe out there....take care..