Hey mingle guys at least the very real ones, in a scenario that you would like to get to know a girl beyond a dating app, what does it take? I mean surely love will never be the reason because physically you haven’t been with her. What would it take for a man to travel half across the globe to get to know a woman? And when does a woman believe that he is really going to go that far? Please don’t answer with the love bit it is overrated. This is not about tips on how to get a guy but just curiosity on why or what makes a guy go the extra mile. I do hope my hopelessly romantic side does not get crushed with the real answers lol

Hey mingle guys at least the very real ones, in a scenario that you would like to get to know a girl beyond a dating app, what does it take? I mean surely love will never be the reason because physically you haven’t been with her. What would it take for a man to travel half across the globe to get to know a woman? And when does a woman believe that he is really going to go that far? Please don’t answer with the love bit it is overrated. This is not about tips on how to get a guy but just curiosity on why or what makes a guy go the extra mile. I do hope my hopelessly romantic side does not get crushed with the real answers lol

in a scenario that you would like to get to know a girl beyond a dating app, what does it take?

What would it take for a man to travel half across the globe to get to know a woman?

when does a woman believe that he is really going to go that far?

why or what makes a guy go the extra mile

. I do hope my hopelessly romantic side does not get crushed with the real answers

if the scenario is like the guy would say he would visit but never does.... why would he even mention it in the first place??

Her willingness to meet me in person when I ask her out.


Desperation, lack of local alternatives, mental/emotional problems, enough money and time that traveling doesn't matter?


I don't know.
When he shows up half across the globe?
But that would only indicate he showed up halfway across the globe.
Still doesn't indicate he's "serious" about anything or going to be what she wants.


Hormones or self identity protection/social (group) pressure.


Only if the romantic side actually wants to face reality.
"Romantics" have a tendency to rationalize reality away, at most facing reality for the sake of learning what to avoid and how better to pick things that allow them to avoid it and facilitate perpetuating the romantic fantasy.

One thing the internet does is allow those with emotional and mental disorders free reign of coping symptoms.
I mean lots of disorders along the spectrum's of depression, autism, and schizophrenia have symptoms of people creating a kind of bubble, compartmentalized fantasy bubble, fantasy script, and then acting them out. Much like a movie script.
They don't really realize they are doing it except in hindsight or when someone directly points it out to them.

Helps them feel in control of their life by being able to control all aspects, what everything means, the exact emotional fulfillment they want to achieve, and exactly what they have to do in order to get it. They choose a character, an identity, how they want to be perceived and how they want to feel, then find someone to play off of by using universal stereotypes to manipulate responses, to complete the fantasy. They assign certain emotions to certain times, certain phrases, certain events, then work to trigger those in steps. It culminates in what they were expecting and what they've manipulated, but then they're done with it, and so move on.
Anything that doesn't really go according to the script pops the bubble, causes frustration and anxiety rather than the expected and desired emotions.
Some will keep coming back over and over in attempts to manipulate people back into the script if enough of it has been already fulfilled.
Again, it's not really done consciously, like they sat down and wrote it. It's just negative emotions and stressors compelling them to create an idea of the reality they want then manipulating certain things to happen or be said for the sake of short term heightened emotional responses.

Little different than reading a boring textbook and then half an hour later realizing you've been "daydreaming" about something else.
Only, in this "daydream" they think they're conscious and following normal social directives and interacting with people in a healthy way for healthy purposes, but it's really all been manipulation of the self and others.


Lots of reasons.
- in order to trigger a response for the sake of phishing out information; how you feel, how you'll respond, interest level, excitement, intimate thoughts and feelings.
- as a means of communicating his interest, albeit in an overcompensating way to overcome the shortcomings of impersonal communication mediums.
- in the moment he wants to, moments pass quickly.
- he plans to, eventually, and he doesn't want to keep it to himself until he actually does.
- to string you along, to get you to believe he wants to, triggering a desired heightening or escalation, to keep you coming back.
- it's just part of the fantasy.
- social reciprocation in the relationship, he may want to start towards something he wants, and thinks to do that he has to give you what he thinks you want (progress in the relationship towards meeting and making it real).
- he had nothing else to talk about. Talking about meeting may just be the next step in the dialogue. It's either that or start talking about something real. Used as an avoidance of talking about something else like his fears.
- he's insecure about the girl, thinking the girl is seeing other guys, talks about meeting as an attempt to force her into a soft commitment to him, shoring up the idea that it's a "real" relationship albeit only over the internet/phone.

I have been to a few countries but I don’t want to brag about it here . I wish to see more of the world though. I do have itchy feet lol

Hello Igor this is what I said about crushing my fairy tale mind lol. Anyways you tell it as it is and what is true for you. I appreciate it. But the part about being desperate and self delusional can also be called just taking a risk and seeing possibilities too right? That’s what blondey tried to point out to me. You will only know till you try. So you say a strong attraction does not merit going the extra mile and you are not going to meet someone even if you had a unique connection? The practicalities would always be first ? Am I right?

Her willingness to meet me in person when I ask her out.


Desperation, lack of local alternatives, mental/emotional problems, enough money and time that traveling doesn't matter?


I don't know.
When he shows up half across the globe?
But that would only indicate he showed up halfway across the globe.
Still doesn't indicate he's "serious" about anything or going to be what she wants.


Hormones or self identity protection/social (group) pressure.


Only if the romantic side actually wants to face reality.
"Romantics" have a tendency to rationalize reality away, at most facing reality for the sake of learning what to avoid and how better to pick things that allow them to avoid it and facilitate perpetuating the romantic fantasy.

One thing the internet does is allow those with emotional and mental disorders free reign of coping symptoms.
I mean lots of disorders along the spectrum's of depression, autism, and schizophrenia have symptoms of people creating a kind of bubble, compartmentalized fantasy bubble, fantasy script, and then acting them out. Much like a movie script.
They don't really realize they are doing it except in hindsight or when someone directly points it out to them.

Helps them feel in control of their life by being able to control all aspects, what everything means, the exact emotional fulfillment they want to achieve, and exactly what they have to do in order to get it. They choose a character, an identity, how they want to be perceived and how they want to feel, then find someone to play off of by using universal stereotypes to manipulate responses, to complete the fantasy. They assign certain emotions to certain times, certain phrases, certain events, then work to trigger those in steps. It culminates in what they were expecting and what they've manipulated, but then they're done with it, and so move on.
Anything that doesn't really go according to the script pops the bubble, causes frustration and anxiety rather than the expected and desired emotions.
Some will keep coming back over and over in attempts to manipulate people back into the script if enough of it has been already fulfilled.
Again, it's not really done consciously, like they sat down and wrote it. It's just negative emotions and stressors compelling them to create an idea of the reality they want then manipulating certain things to happen or be said for the sake of short term heightened emotional responses.

Little different than reading a boring textbook and then half an hour later realizing you've been "daydreaming" about something else.
Only, in this "daydream" they think they're conscious and following normal social directives and interacting with people in a healthy way for healthy purposes, but it's really all been manipulation of the self and others.


Lots of reasons.
- in order to trigger a response for the sake of phishing out information; how you feel, how you'll respond, interest level, excitement, intimate thoughts and feelings.
- as a means of communicating his interest, albeit in an overcompensating way to overcome the shortcomings of impersonal communication mediums.
- in the moment he wants to, moments pass quickly.
- he plans to, eventually, and he doesn't want to keep it to himself until he actually does.
- to string you along, to get you to believe he wants to, triggering a desired heightening or escalation, to keep you coming back.
- it's just part of the fantasy.
- social reciprocation in the relationship, he may want to start towards something he wants, and thinks to do that he has to give you what he thinks you want (progress in the relationship towards meeting and making it real).
- he had nothing else to talk about. Talking about meeting may just be the next step in the dialogue. It's either that or start talking about something real. Used as an avoidance of talking about something else like his fears.
- he's insecure about the girl, thinking the girl is seeing other guys, talks about meeting as an attempt to force her into a soft commitment to him, shoring up the idea that it's a "real" relationship albeit only over the internet/phone.

I know this question is for the guys, but had a thought to share. Hope you don’t mind.

It’s possible that a man excited enough to go that far has built an ideal up in his mind that noone could possibly live up to. Even if she’s a wonderful girl, he will be disappointed to have gone so far only to find a human at the end of his rainbow.

Ok if the scenario is like the guy would say he would visit but never does.... why would he even mention it in the first place????

Stringing along, give a feeling of what may happen. Maybe create a memory that will never happen.

Is it like a test or something?

Ciretom answer this.

He would say he would go the extra mile but doesn’t follow through.

Do we need to answer this, he is not really interested, most likely he has other intentions.

Should the girl call his bluff and say she will come instead?

As long as she is over the legal age, she is welcome to do so.

would this be ok guys?

Do we need to validate this for her?

I read women's profiles on other sites as well and many do brag about their travel adventures a bit too much. I would like to travel but it's a bit hard as I bought a house (not bragging) 3 years ago and it's taking money to do things.

You'll have to find a nice guy to scratch your itchy feet...hehe

Maybe just that he is curious to know you that is why but love? Am not sure although few can be inlove.

...ummmm..... first off a free ticket to wherever she is... And a hotel room of my own.. secondly the promise of lots of lots of sex when I get there... either with her or someone else.....Lol.. jk

Why not just meet halfway?
Someplace that has tourist attractions so if it doesn't work out between them at least there is something interesting to do alone so its not just a waste of time.

I drove from Mississippi to Ohio to meet a woman. Brought her back to Mississippi and when she turned out to be a liar and a freak, I paid for her bus ticket back to Ohio.

I talked with a woman on another dating site for about a year and a half. I stopped talking with her because we were ready to meet but she expected me to come to lower Florida to see her. She refused to come see me (she had the means) and she refused to meet halfway. To me, it was her lack of commitment that told me she was lying about her feelings for me. I ended her pipe dream.

The only way I will ever go meet someone long distance is if there is something at her location (besides her) that interests me. If a woman wants to meet me, she will either come to me or meet me halfway.