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Topic: The privilege of not understanding privilege
Easttowest72's photo
Sun 08/12/18 12:31 AM
A home is guarantee to increase in value. The home I bought 27 years ago is worth 5 or 6 times what I paid for it. Wages increase, home values increase, a gallon of milk increases. How much was the average cost of a home when you turned 18 vs now?

Yes you have to support yourself when owning a home. But most people understand they have to do that anyway. Stable people save for a rainy day. Irresponsible people let money burn a hole in their pocket.

Easttowest72's photo
Sun 08/12/18 01:10 AM
The average persons main source of wealth is their home and 401k. It's several hundred thousand. Some of my friends parents are passing away. They inherit another home. I think most blacks don't understand how to build wealth. It's not society keeping the down. It's their lack of understanding. I think they view wealth as a Paris Hilton shopping trip.

msharmony's photo
Sun 08/12/18 01:43 AM

A home is guarantee to increase in value. The home I bought 27 years ago is worth 5 or 6 times what I paid for it. Wages increase, home values increase, a gallon of milk increases. How much was the average cost of a home when you turned 18 vs now?

Yes you have to support yourself when owning a home. But most people understand they have to do that anyway. Stable people save for a rainy day. Irresponsible people let money burn a hole in their pocket.



once again, NOT EVERYONE wants to stay someplace for 27 YEARS, and not everyone wants to STILL OWE anyone once they are ready to leave. Alot of things can happen in MODERN times when people are not staying in careers for a lifetime like they once did, and jobs are not as secure

it is much more responsible for some to commit to the month to month payment they already have covered, than for a long term mortgage during which time anything might happen that they can no longer cover the balance

its called not taking the GAMBLE, some people have the gamble pay off, good for them, but not taking a chance is not the same as money 'burning a hole'






msharmony's photo
Sun 08/12/18 01:46 AM

The average persons main source of wealth is their home and 401k. It's several hundred thousand. Some of my friends parents are passing away. They inherit another home. I think most blacks don't understand how to build wealth. It's not society keeping the down. It's their lack of understanding. I think they view wealth as a Paris Hilton shopping trip.


i agree. many dont understand what wealth is or how to build it because society brainwashes the mass that just having 'any job' is the goal.


many people dont understand how to build 'wealth' as its not taught in school and the resources and knowledge and connections are not there in their community or families to give them the help or pass down the knowledge to do so.

still so. there is more than one way to skin a cat. and home ownership is NOT the end all be all that magically makes it happen for everyone.



Easttowest72's photo
Sun 08/12/18 04:36 AM


The average persons main source of wealth is their home and 401k. It's several hundred thousand. Some of my friends parents are passing away. They inherit another home. I think most blacks don't understand how to build wealth. It's not society keeping the down. It's their lack of understanding. I think they view wealth as a Paris Hilton shopping trip.


i agree. many dont understand what wealth is or how to build it because society brainwashes the mass that just having 'any job' is the goal.


many people dont understand how to build 'wealth' as its not taught in school and the resources and knowledge and connections are not there in their community or families to give them the help or pass down the knowledge to do so.

still so. there is more than one way to skin a cat. and home ownership is NOT the end all be all that magically makes it happen for everyone.





Well explain how you have built wealth. I was a teenage mother. I didn't have any extra money. I went from paying rent and being broke to paying a mortgage and being broke. Home ownership was my only option because I had no money to invest else where because I had to put a roof over my families head. When my 1st home became paid off is when I had extra money. I bought a rental. I had the rent to make the payment and what I was use to paying in mortgage to invest.

After giving my daughter a house, I'm still worth more than the average $200,000. So I would like you to explain how you build wealth because home ownership was my only way and it's my friends way also because we weren't born with a silver spoon.

ljwilley's photo
Sat 08/18/18 08:25 PM
I am the opposite of you. I was born to an undiagnosed, untreated mentally ill mother, have had my own mental illness issues all my life, and I was recently diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome, and I have struggled with everything all my life without ever understanding why I could never seem to get anything right. I am 62 now. I have worked as hard as I knew how to at trying to make life work, and it never did. I have probably put in as much effort at things as you have, but I did not have the ability to make my efforts pay off. How hard a person works is not what determines success. Like you say, there is a lot that you were born with that I was not, and it seems like those things are what makes hard work pay off. I am not really sure why I am writing this, either, it is just the comparison between your life and mine. So many people blame those who are not successful for being the cause of their own failure, that they didn't try hard enough, made bad choices, are lazy, etc. This is just simply not true.

msharmony's photo
Sun 08/19/18 01:02 AM



The average persons main source of wealth is their home and 401k. It's several hundred thousand. Some of my friends parents are passing away. They inherit another home. I think most blacks don't understand how to build wealth. It's not society keeping the down. It's their lack of understanding. I think they view wealth as a Paris Hilton shopping trip.


i agree. many dont understand what wealth is or how to build it because society brainwashes the mass that just having 'any job' is the goal.


many people dont understand how to build 'wealth' as its not taught in school and the resources and knowledge and connections are not there in their community or families to give them the help or pass down the knowledge to do so.

still so. there is more than one way to skin a cat. and home ownership is NOT the end all be all that magically makes it happen for everyone.





Well explain how you have built wealth. I was a teenage mother. I didn't have any extra money. I went from paying rent and being broke to paying a mortgage and being broke. Home ownership was my only option because I had no money to invest else where because I had to put a roof over my families head. When my 1st home became paid off is when I had extra money. I bought a rental. I had the rent to make the payment and what I was use to paying in mortgage to invest.

After giving my daughter a house, I'm still worth more than the average $200,000. So I would like you to explain how you build wealth because home ownership was my only way and it's my friends way also because we weren't born with a silver spoon.



awesome that it worked for you. your circumstances and environment and opportunity crossing at the right time ...

as to other ways beyond ownership

Develop multiple streams of income

You won't get rich without multiple flows of income," says self-made millionaire Grant Cardone, who was deep in debt before reaching seven figures. "That starts with the income you currently have. Increase that income and start adding multiple flows.

Invest your money — every single day

In just five years, Grant of Millennial Money went from having $2.26 in his bank account to $1 million. On his blog, the 31-year-old self-made millionaire shares "the single most important hack" he's used to build wealth: "I break down ALL of my money goals into daily goals. I still deposit money every day into my investment accounts."


Pay yourself first

According to self-made millionaire and bestselling author David Bach, there's "one, proven, easy way to get rich," and that is to pay yourself first. What that means is simple, Bach writes in "The Automatic Millionaire": "When you earn a dollar, the first person you pay is you."


Change your mindset about money

"Getting rich begins with the way you think and what you believe about making money," writes Siebold in "How Rich People Think."

The author continues: "The rich eventually figure out that training your mind to find solutions to difficult problems is the real secret to making money. The good news is this is possible for anyone who conditions their mind to think this way, and then transforms thought into action."


https://www.cnbc.com/2017/03/27/4-self-made-millionaires-share-no-1-strategy-for-building-wealth.html




Easttowest72's photo
Sun 08/19/18 08:04 AM
That is correct. I was a teenage mom when I bought my first home. The mortgage was higher than my previous rent but the home cane with a small rental in the back. I rented it for enough to pay half the mortgage. I usually buy another home after I get one paid for because it increases my income. I'm about 2 years away from paying off my mortgage. I've gone back to work because it makes qualifying for a loan a lot easier.

msharmony's photo
Sun 08/19/18 07:19 PM

That is correct. I was a teenage mom when I bought my first home. The mortgage was higher than my previous rent but the home cane with a small rental in the back. I rented it for enough to pay half the mortgage. I usually buy another home after I get one paid for because it increases my income. I'm about 2 years away from paying off my mortgage. I've gone back to work because it makes qualifying for a loan a lot easier.


I wont ask where you lived or where you went that allowed you as a SINGLE TEENAGE MOM to sign a contract for purchasing a HOME with a rental, having little credit history or long term employment, but that in itself is NOT something everyone was or is able to be approved for.



Easttowest72's photo
Sun 08/19/18 11:23 PM
Edited by Easttowest72 on Sun 08/19/18 11:23 PM
I've actually gotten 3 loans with a 0 credit score. After paying for 1 home I wouldn't borrow money and my good credit score would go away. I think it's 6 months that a loan is knocked off your credit. I didn't get my 1st credit card until 2012. When I pay off my current home mortgage in 2 years it will have a negative impact on my credit score. Financially it's a great thing.

Ms H have you ever tried to get a home mortgage? If you have 0 credit score it's best to go to your local bank. They are the ones who see you deposit a check every week and know that you pay your bills every month on time. It's in your banking history.

Easttowest72's photo
Mon 08/20/18 12:08 AM
Edited by Easttowest72 on Mon 08/20/18 12:11 AM
As far as where I live. The home I bought at 19 was in a small town in ga. Brick and siding on a basement. The rental in the back was a small older siding home. I think it belonged to the guys mother and he build the other home when he got grown. I eventually had the older home torn down. It was too close. I eventually made changes to the main home. I had the brick on the front torn off and all new siding put on. I had a huge concrete porch added to the front with 4 columns.

The best time to buy a home is during a recession. The price is cheaper. The economy is booming and home prices are too high right now. There has been a lot of price reduction for homes on the market but in my opinion still over priced.

msharmony's photo
Mon 08/20/18 01:05 AM

I've actually gotten 3 loans with a 0 credit score. After paying for 1 home I wouldn't borrow money and my good credit score would go away. I think it's 6 months that a loan is knocked off your credit. I didn't get my 1st credit card until 2012. When I pay off my current home mortgage in 2 years it will have a negative impact on my credit score. Financially it's a great thing.

Ms H have you ever tried to get a home mortgage? If you have 0 credit score it's best to go to your local bank. They are the ones who see you deposit a check every week and know that you pay your bills every month on time. It's in your banking history.


There is no ZERO credit score. And as I said, people are turned down for all types of loans all the time because of no credit history. Maybe someone gave you an opportunity that DOES NOT happen for anybody and everybody with no credit?

loans positively or negatively affect credit scores and remain there if they are positive, they are supposed to be taken off if they are negative after SEVEN years. However, the remedy to that is if those debtors sell the debt to an agency, which they often will, that seven years then is new according to what is owed now to that agency.

I already know I cannot get a mortgage loan, and like I said, id rather rent than be into a bank for tens of thousands for a place I very well might move from and don't want the hassle and work of trying to get someone else into.

If I ever own it will be because I have decided to settle and have paid for the home in cash, with no bank interest, long term contract, or hassles.

Id rather invest in stocks and bonds, at least there is no extra maintenance or babysitting of other grown ups to see a return.







Easttowest72's photo
Mon 08/20/18 02:30 AM


I've actually gotten 3 loans with a 0 credit score. After paying for 1 home I wouldn't borrow money and my good credit score would go away. I think it's 6 months that a loan is knocked off your credit. I didn't get my 1st credit card until 2012. When I pay off my current home mortgage in 2 years it will have a negative impact on my credit score. Financially it's a great thing.

Ms H have you ever tried to get a home mortgage? If you have 0 credit score it's best to go to your local bank. They are the ones who see you deposit a check every week and know that you pay your bills every month on time. It's in your banking history.


There is no ZERO credit score. And as I said, people are turned down for all types of loans all the time because of no credit history. Maybe someone gave you an opportunity that DOES NOT happen for anybody and everybody with no credit?

loans positively or negatively affect credit scores and remain there if they are positive, they are supposed to be taken off if they are negative after SEVEN years. However, the remedy to that is if those debtors sell the debt to an agency, which they often will, that seven years then is new according to what is owed now to that agency.

I already know I cannot get a mortgage loan, and like I said, id rather rent than be into a bank for tens of thousands for a place I very well might move from and don't want the hassle and work of trying to get someone else into.

If I ever own it will be because I have decided to settle and have paid for the home in cash, with no bank interest, long term contract, or hassles.

Id rather invest in stocks and bonds, at least there is no extra maintenance or babysitting of other grown ups to see a return.









When I got my 1st mortgage I had never had a loan at all. No credit card or car payment. Nothing. I had to get statements from utility companies saying I paid my bills on time. I didn't have a credit score at all. Even now my credit score will go down when i pay off the mortgage. I have credit cards but no other installment loans.

IgorFrankensteen's photo
Mon 08/20/18 05:01 AM

from psychology today

NOTE: The article is written by a man about men, but can apply to any group of 'privileged' regardless to gender and/or race.


https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/feeling-our-way/201702/the-privilege-not-understanding-privilege

I think an important factor in men’s openness to considering their privilege is spending time with black people and with women who don’t resent them (although openness to privilege may in turn lead to not being resented). A black colleague long ago got an emergency call while he was jogging in Boston, so he just jogged right to the hospital—where they wouldn’t let him in to see the patient because he was wearing a jogging outfit. When he told me this story the next day, he genuinely wanted me only to laugh about it with him (to laugh bitterly, but still to laugh). My closest female friends want me to appreciate my male privilege, not to relinquish it. Similarly, I don’t want rich people to apologize for being born with money; I just want them to act like they know they didn’t earn it. If they do act like they earned it, I resent their money and start thinking about increasing the estate tax. White guys who ignore their privilege find themselves resented, and then they avoid the resentful. Not being so defensive can bring out the best in others, but it requires an acknowledgement that, in a memorable phrase, you were born on third base and only think you hit a triple. I was raised by parents who grew up in poverty; they made sure we knew we were lucky to be middle-class and white.

The privileged in any setting want to believe that their lack of stigma is earned and not a matter of chance. They take credit for their status as full-fledged members of their group. To do any less would be to acknowledge that they could easily have found themselves among the marginalized and stigmatized, and the one thing the authorized in any group must insist upon is that they are not like the stigmatized. The fiercest defense of a privileged status is to doubt it.


I don't have time to read the five pages of responses and counter responses to this right now, so please pardon if I repeat what someone else already said. And realize I am not intentionally ignoring anyone.

JUST looking at the above quoted opening post, I am strongly in support of true self-awareness for everyone. Knowing who you are and why, as well as where you are and HOW you are and why, is very important for anyone to live an authentic life, as well as an imperative, if ANY of us are to solve life problems in the most accurate way.

I see one potentially dangerous mistake in the opening post, as written. Here: "White guys who ignore their privilege find themselves resented, and then they avoid the resentful."

What I'm worried about, is that you appear to want those of us who DO have accidentally acquired privileges (in my case, being white and male) to accept what should accurately be called "revenge or counter racism-sexism" from those who suffered from OTHER white males, unrelated to us.

I hold EVERY grown individual responsible for their own behavior and to be self-aware. That includes both knowing that they are or are not artificially privileged, due to the society they chanced to be born into, AND to recognize that any given SPECIFIC INDIVIDUAL who they are dealing with, is not responsible for every OTHER member of whatever group that the first individual perceives them to be a part of.

On the same side as this opening post, I want to slightly extend a good simile made there. In addition to my having no patience with people who were "born on third base, and want to be credited with hitting a triple," I ALSO have no patience with people who were born on first or second base, and want to be credited with three bases, simply because someone else either got a walk, which ALLOWED them to go to third.

In other words, I give a LOT more appreciation and respect to people who started from real nothing, and made it to the middle class; but very little to people who started with millions, and turned that into billions. This is because I also know that, just as baseball's rules "rigs" things so that people who are ON base, will get additional "free" bases when someone else is walked, so too the American economic system as it is now, is rigged so that ALREADY rich people suffer far less risk when investing, and get far more government assistance and financial protection, than those without great wealth.

msharmony's photo
Mon 08/20/18 09:28 AM
you should write a book ... I appreciate the contribution that has no name calling or belittling of anyone else. thank you for that.drinker

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