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Topic: Fun date or Get to know you date? On 1st date. Which do you
no photo
Mon 12/10/18 07:17 PM
In my opinion I would want to get to know you. Cause I think 1st dates should be short. Less than an hour. If you don't click won't have to sit thru hrs of stuff. If you do click you can set up fun ones for later dates. Opinions?

no photo
Mon 12/10/18 07:20 PM
That sounds good.

Poetrywriter's photo
Mon 12/10/18 07:24 PM
Everyone is entitled to an opinion. Unfortunately I disagree with yours. Seems to me that if you click with a date and enjoy each others company you would want to spend as much time with that date as possible. Why set up fun ones for dates later when you can have a fun date the first time around. To me the length of the first date depends on how each enjoy the others company.

no photo
Mon 12/10/18 07:32 PM
I prefer shorter dates.

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Mon 12/10/18 07:44 PM

Everyone is entitled to an opinion. Unfortunately I disagree with yours. Seems to me that if you click with a date and enjoy each others company you would want to spend as much time with that date as possible. Why set up fun ones for dates later when you can have a fun date the first time around. To me the length of the first date depends on how each enjoy the others company.


While I agree with you. My thinking is more of set the time limit so if either one isn't enjoying the other, well there is an out for both without being uncomfortable about cutting a, say dinner short, a drive, or movie. Along that path. But yes I agree if you click you can change date to something fun.

Tom4Uhere's photo
Mon 12/10/18 08:02 PM
I don't 'date'.
I live life.
I either spend time living life with someone else or they spend time living life with me.

The Meet & Greet is not a 'date', its a meet & greet.
This woman I am currently seeing happened at McDonalds over a quick bite to eat and coffee.
We decided to hang out together and while we go do things together, they're not really what you would call dates.
The first time we went anywhere together I went to her house to get her so she could ride along with me while I went to Gulfport to pick up a few things I needed. Since there was no time frame, I hung at her house and we talked while sitting on the porch, then, we went to Gulfport, I got what I needed and we went 'looking around' and stopped to get a bite to eat. We ended up back at my place because I had to bring what I bought into the house so we just hung out here and she checked out my movies and music collection and then I took her home and we sat there for a bit and she showed me around her place.

She gives me a call when she wants to come hang out and I do the same for her. Never really "dating" but we do a lot of stuff together while we live life.

We just like to be in each other's company and isn't that what its all about anyway?

Toodygirl5's photo
Mon 12/10/18 08:08 PM
All my Online meets are dates. Well planned out. The men I meet Travel here and have no time for games.

Communication on Phone for Weeks first.


no photo
Mon 12/10/18 08:08 PM
Same to you

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Mon 12/10/18 08:25 PM

All my Online meets are dates. Well planned out. The men I meet Travel here and have no time for games.

Communication on Phone for Weeks first.





If that keeps you safe. Good way to do.
I myself went down to the police station and set up a meet there with a woman for a 1st meet and greet. LMAO!


Side note wow 48 views in 9 hrs and all but 3 are under 40. Mmmmm LMAO

no photo
Mon 12/10/18 08:45 PM
Hanging out with someone is just a friend. I want that man I'm really into and wanting to know about him and attracted to. He likes me a lot.

actionlynx's photo
Mon 12/10/18 09:19 PM
I prefer a "get to know you" first date. It's hard to come up with a "fun date" when you don't know much about the person yet.

But I also agree with Poetrywriter to some extent. If both of you are clicking during the get to know you part, then you both have the option of extending the date to something fun. That's when you begin to know whether you enjoy each other's company or not. You can't always do that just talking. Sometimes you have to see what each other is like during an activity.

For instance, I knew one woman who laughed on the inhale rather than on the exhale. The result was very high-pitched and shrill, like a pig squealing in agony. Most people I knew couldn't stand the sound of her laugh. I actually didn't mind it. It made her a bit unique, in my eyes. And she was quite attractive too. Someone who didn't know her would have been caught very off-guard and likely turned off the first time she laughed hard.

I was going to ask her out, but allowed our mutual friends to talk me out of it. Years after, I kicked myself for listening to them. She liked me. She was interested in me. We probably would have made a good couple. But dum-dum me didn't follow his own logic and instincts.

no photo
Tue 12/11/18 04:00 AM
I'm all about the fun. I stopped playing twenty questions when I was eight. Put it this way, do I want to laugh and enjoy being around someone? Or do want to be bored to $h!t learning her views on something that will inevitably come up in casual conversation should we enjoy each other's company and wish to see each other again?

Riverspirit1111's photo
Tue 12/11/18 04:00 AM
Separating the two... "getting to know someone" or "having fun" makes it sound like getting to know someone is boring and tedious. I love getting to know someone and it's fun doing so. They are not separate in my eyes.

The date lasts as long as it lasts.

no photo
Tue 12/11/18 04:09 AM

Separating the two... "getting to know someone" or "having fun" makes it sound like getting to know someone is boring and tedious. I love getting to know someone and it's fun doing so. They are not separate in my eyes.

The date lasts as long as it lasts.


Of course they are not separate. However, there is a wide gap between twenty questions and information learned anecdotally through casual conversation.

Riverspirit1111's photo
Tue 12/11/18 04:12 AM


Separating the two... "getting to know someone" or "having fun" makes it sound like getting to know someone is boring and tedious. I love getting to know someone and it's fun doing so. They are not separate in my eyes.

The date lasts as long as it lasts.


Of course they are not separate. However, there is a wide gap between twenty questions and information learned anecdotally through casual conversation.


Yes I agree! I can't stand 20 questions. I'd rather learn information through casual conversation and enjoying each others company. Getting to know someone naturally!

no photo
Tue 12/11/18 05:01 AM
I prefer to have a fun date. Although getting to know & like someone doesn't mean they'll want to stick around, I'd rather have a fun unforgettable hour with them.

actionlynx's photo
Tue 12/11/18 09:19 AM
Getting to know someone doesn't have to be 20 Questions. I've always tried to just do it through conversation. But sometimes the other person doesn't offer much in reply. That's when it gets tedious. If the other person doesn't talk much, it makes for an awful boring first date. Chances are I'll make it the last date as well.

I've tried to do fun first dates before. Unless I already know the woman well, a fun date has always been a hassle. "I don't like that. I don't feel like doing this. I don't know what I want to do." Again, when the woman gives me little to nothing to work with, it's just going to be a boring (and final) date.

If I was made of money, I could think of lots of ways to sweep her off her feet. But I'm not. I don't have much money to work with at all. So if she's expecting me to wow her by spending lots of money on like a broadway show or expensive clubs and drinks or a sporting event, it's just not going to happen. It's an unrealistic expectation.

So a fun date has to be somewhat frugal, like mini golf or something.

ramesh's photo
Tue 12/11/18 09:39 AM
dating

ramesh's photo
Tue 12/11/18 09:40 AM
if anyone is intrested just say me

I_love_bluegrass's photo
Tue 12/11/18 09:47 AM
Edited by I_love_bluegrass on Tue 12/11/18 10:05 AM


If the other person doesn't talk much, it makes for an awful boring first date. Chances are I'll make it the last date as well.




If I was made of money, I could think of lots of ways to sweep her off her feet. But I'm not. I don't have much money to work with at all. So if she's expecting me to wow her by spending lots of money on like a broadway show or expensive clubs and drinks or a sporting event, it's just not going to happen. It's an unrealistic expectation.

So a fun date has to be somewhat frugal, like mini golf or something.



Yes.
I have given guys the benefit of the doubt before...those who claim they don't like to write out/ type stuff and therefore would do better on the phone or in person..
Each and *every* time, they sucked just as bad as they did online..
"I don't like talking about myself.."
Well then buddy..how is someone supposed to learn anything about you..(usually said by guys with one line as a profile..)

As there isn't much here locally to do for a date/ meet up (a few so-so restaruants...a movie theater...a bowling alley..neither of the last two are conducive the getting to know someone)...it ususally involves going elsewhere..and you betcha I want to make sure they can at *least* carry on a decent conversation before I will drive 25+ miles..
It sucks to have nothing to talk about...meaning..they can't carry their end of the conversation...
I'd rather stay home..


Meet for coffee..you say?
That's fine..there's Waffle House or Cracker Barrel..neither of which I am a fan of, but..in a pinch it will do...

If a guy showed up with roses (which I *despise*)..or had an extravagant date planned as a *first* date..it wouldn't go over well....
I'd think he was trying too hard...and wouldn't appreciate it, as it is wasteful and he may be a spendthrift.
This is why goofd conbversaation before meeting is important...this would have been made clear by me somewhere in the conversation that I am not a fan of/ not impressed by "showing off"..
You want to "impress" me?
Engage my brain...be a scintillating conversationalist...

My late husband made dinner at his house...and the guy before him..we went to Luby's Cafeteria...
(And the women I worked with said I needed to dump him, as he was a cheapskate....pfft...I *liked* Luby's...so you ladies go pound sand...whoa


P.S..regarding *this*:
"I don't like that. I don't feel like doing this. I don't know what I want to do." Again, when the woman gives me little to nothing to work with, it's just going to be a boring (and final) date.


I have a really tragic story about this...
I'll write it in another reply..



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