Hit up the person's hobbies. Find what they enjoy aside from work.

Good idea, Bobby. You could say, in a conversational manner "Well, when you aren't busy killing people, what kinds of activities do you like?"

hiya mike .. my friend went on a coffee meet .. she told him information including where she worked .. she thought he was a nice single professional man .. turns out he was married . When she told him she was no longer interested he became aggressive and abusive.... She became scared and threatened to involve the police . ...

My take on that is .. always be cautious with what you share until trust is established ..
asking questions is part of getting to know someone but also respecting boundaries of what the other person is comfortable sharing .. in the early stages ..

if things progress to dating ....then mutual open communication is important .

If I've already met them, been around them long enough to determine they are a "nice person," how is it this is the first I am hearing about their job?

It would be odd to date someone several times or for awhile, or speak to someone for a while, where their job didn't come up (likes, dislikes, stresses, annoyances, joys, accomplishments, something).
I mean most people spend 1/3 of their day at their job.
Not discussing it would be a big black hole of mystery in their day.


Who knows.
Not enough back story.

I mean how difficult was it to get this coffee date? Are they constantly at work and it took a month of constantly trying to manipulate schedules and rain checks?

Have they been consistently secretive and getting any information from them at all was like pulling teeth?

Did I first email them Friday, we've exchanged 4 messages, and now on Sunday we're meeting for coffee?

Where are we having "over coffee?" At a coffee shop? Or did they spend the night and now it's the next morning and we're talking "over coffee?"

I would need more practical information.

Other than that, if I was on a first meet/date with someone and they said "I work for the CIA, and that's all I can say," and they weren't joking, then they're full of crap, I'd call them on it (if they were hot, otherwise I'd just be "eh," and find someone else), and then the subsequent response and interaction would be important.