Huh?

This isn't all that clear.

Because I could say, for example, "A familiar pattern of what I do in a relationship is clear, direct, immediate, and honest verbal communication. What I am unfamiliar with is beating my partner senseless when they don't listen."

But according to your instructions I want to become more "unfamiliar" with clear, direct, immediate, and honest verbal communication, while becoming more "familiar" with physical abuse?


At best it looks more like an exercise in goal seeking.

If people can't be honest with themselves, an exercise based on biased memory, rationalizing, conflating, minimizing, and romanticizing/horrorizing their past isn't going to really do much.
So at best it's just a goal seeking exercise to help further rationalize and delude themselves as to the "truth," with a false sense of some kind of "accomplishment" for doing an exercise. Mental and/or emotional masturbation.

...But, again, the instructions aren't all that clear.


Is that why so many women put on their profile "Not looking for sex! No one night stands! I'm tired of that! It's time for me to settle down! You must be...?" and they're so successful?


Realize everyone is on a bell curve.
At least half of the population is to the left of average intelligence.
A lot of money can be made catering to them.

i've analyzed mine a while ago...attraction to aggresive woman...woman goes too far and i begin to resent...have blow up...rinse lather repeat next time with an even cuter and wilder woman...prediction...if i don't change my ways i will be dating a dominatrix hit woman next...luckily i don't know where to look...dark web maybe?
omg good use of wowza in a sentence what was that show....nice flashback...gimmick man....gadget man...go go gadget...wowza...

Why do women talk so much ? No wonder they always have so many problems and never at peace..with anything

Yah that third trimester is a biooooootch!! Who wants another 3 months of someone on your gym mat (to help you breath?)?

hello

We all do have some deeply entrenched patterns that may affect our ability to have a long-term, positive and loving partnership. Marisa Peer is a British therapist and she has some very helpful videos for free on Youtube.

The book I'm reading now has been very helpful for me, it is:
Reinventing Your Life: The Breakthrough Program to End Negative Behavior and Feel Great Again (by Jeffrey E. Young, Janet S. Klosko, Aaron T. Beck) 1994.

This book has a whole section on 'lifetraps' -- and within an hour or so you can figure out your key lifetraps -- another word for patterns. At least you have awareness as to what is causing you issues in your life; and the authors put forth suggestions for an action plan. The book is very inexpensive, a lot cheaper than hours of therapy with a psychotherapist.

I've made, un-made and remade myself so many times in my life I am nothing like the person I was. Good thing too because I was very destructive.

I've reached the point in my life where I don't concern myself with play acting to win friends and influence people.
I am who and what I am and I change only when I want to, not to win a date.
It seems to work for me.

Not only did I find someone (on THIS website), I found someone who matches me better than anyone in my past who I had to work to get/keep. She's not my soul-mate, not even close, but we match, we're happy and we don't worry about the stupid stuff.

When we part ways, I am not going to worry about finding someone else. I'm comfortable with myself enough to know I have qualities a woman wants in her man. I'm no longer desperate to be with someone. Its nice when it happens but I am more than that now. I can be alone without being lonely.

Rather than relying on someone else to tell you how to meet your match, just be yourself.
You don't have to maintain a persona and when someone does actually like YOU, they like YOU and not someone you are acting to be.
In other words, be yourself. Your relationships will be stronger from the honesty.
The hardest part about being yourself is the fact some people play so many personas they lose track of who they actually are.
The first step is to stop lying to yourself and figure out who you actually are and be that person.
If you don't like yourself, only you can change it.
Its not a good idea to base a meaningful relationship on a lie.

No truer words were said! Kudos

“endlessly probing past and current relationships for patterns and meaning sounds like something an overly dedicated proctologist might do .. and that can mean the kiss of death for a relationship’

Each relationship is a new beginning .., not interested in letting past relationships influence how I navigate a new shared experience . No two men are the same . How one man behaves and responds will be unique to him and my behaviour will be influenced by that ..... Not how I may have behaved in the past .