Topic: TEXTING & COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN
Paul's photo
Mon 05/23/22 02:43 PM
This has got to be one of my biggest pet peeves. It all starts innocently enough but it's one of those things that tends to build until you realize that they are blatantly ignoring you. Unanswered Questions, that is where this all begins. In the beginning I let it go as I was excited about a new prospect, however that was a mistake as I later found out. Not answering your questions is bad sign & I don't allow myself to play that game anymore. Anyone else have this problem?

motowndowntown's photo
Mon 05/23/22 03:00 PM
Scammers typically have multiple people working off the same fake profiles. Their main goal is to get you off-site and sell porn pics and videos.

They usually don't know what questions you've asked and don't care.

 Ꮢ Ꭷ Ᏸ ɨ Ꮑ's photo
Mon 05/23/22 10:52 PM
This has got to be one of my biggest pet peeves. It all starts innocently enough but it's one of those things that tends to build until you realize that they are blatantly ignoring you. Unanswered Questions, that is where this all begins. In the beginning I let it go as I was excited about a new prospect, however that was a mistake as I later found out. Not answering your questions is bad sign & I don't allow myself to play that game anymore. Anyone else have this problem?

:x:

Larsi666 😽's photo
Tue 05/24/22 05:18 AM
"Communication Breakdown" is one of my favourite LedZep tunes :sunglasses:

Sir Larsi, music enthusiast

Douglas's photo
Tue 05/24/22 06:24 AM
I agree with motowndowntown on this one, though there can be other reasons than scammers for why someone isn't responding well:

If they are responding curtly or only partly, the other likely reasons are:
1) They don't speak your language and are struggling to communicate. If in doubt, ask them. I have a wide vocabulary and find that if a foreigner knows English so poorly they will use online translation, the problems are very different than if they have a school-taught understanding of the language and are struggling because I don't speak foreigner-English (e.g. "Could show to way to hotdog stand at station?" which I have seen in a school book). Also, even a small grammar error/typos on my part (such as being sloppy and writing 'grammar error/typos') can be terribly confusing.
2) They are already chatting with half a dozen prospects and just don't have time to get to know you at the pace you want.
3) They grew up on farcebook and twit-ter and have no idea how to communicate. More than one phrase at a time, more than 180 characters, overwhelms them. Seriously, I am suspecting this is a thing with a lot of people. It's why they (not just scammers) want to use chat systems: a few words at a time, back and forth. They are the kind of people who would NEVER read this posting of mine. Work out whether you can relate to them at all. Personally, I can't imagine trying to hold a real, one-to-one conversation on this basis but maybe it works for those who just want to twitter away at one another. Just stop asking two questions at a time and never say anything that should have a comma.

If they aren't responding at all, the likely reasons are:
1) They are already chatting with half a dozen prospects and can't cope with another. If you really like this person, consider leaving off for a couple of weeks and coming back to see if you can compete to get their attention again.
2) They're a scammer and they realise you aren't responding right.
3) They are genuine and have already told you (possibly too subtly) that they aren't interested and you haven't realised you've had the cold shoulder.
4) They are genuine but don't think you are right for them and don't understand that it is polite and helpful just to say so. (Yes, some people will keep writing after this point anyway.)
5) They aren't active on the site any more. Thankfully these days most dating sites make it clear roughly when they last logged on (with Mingle, anyone not seen for over a month is listed simply as just that, since a contact not kept alive for a month is likely to have to start from scratch even if they do come back).