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| Topic: Letting go of your pet | |
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Crystal, it’s natural you feel guilty about it. I don’t think you would feel the way you do if you didn’t live your cat.
I used to have 3 British bulldogs. I had mum Nellie and 2 of her pups but as they got older the dynamics changed and they pushed Charlie out by constantly picking fights with him. I managed to find a lovely lady who offered to look after Charlie for a while but 1 year later they are inseparable and are absolutely made for each other. He has his best friend and she has hers and it melts my heart knowing it all turned ok. I’ve since had to re-home Nellie and Hugo because my living situation changed. I found Nellie the hardest to let go as I’d had her since she was 4 months old and she is 5 now. Again I was able to find them both loving homes. The families have children and are always at home. They live around the corner from each other and see each other every other day. Hugo lives with another dog called Hugo and Nellie lives with the sister. I check in on them regularly to see how things are going and the families are so grateful for the opportunity of having such beautiful and well behaved dogs. I believe you are doing the right thing. xx |
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Have to say I agree with this ^^^^. I have never given away a pet and it is not something I see myself as ever doing. As for bramble .. he is 13 years old !!! From what you have shared it does not sound like you ever loved him .. just tolerated him . Perhaps he sensed that . Putting him in a shelter at his age is cruel. Did you consider finding him a home . Poor bramble  Trust you. If you don't understand, don't even want to try, then just don't bother replying. As for the topic .. you can justify your behaviour however you want . Bramble does not get to justify his behaviour . Why didn’t you re-home him years ago . If he is the problem why did you give away your other cat . His age is what I find absolutely cruel crystal . He has lived with you for 13 years and as Larsi said now you are discarding him . Perhaps it would be kinder to euthanise him than put him thru the trauma of being caged in a shelter and (if he is lucky that someone wants him ) coping with a new environment . At the end of the day .. the choice is yours . You are the one who has to live with it . |
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Crystal, it’s natural you feel guilty about it. I don’t think you would feel the way you do if you didn’t live your cat. I used to have 3 British bulldogs. I had mum Nellie and 2 of her pups but as they got older the dynamics changed and they pushed Charlie out by constantly picking fights with him. I managed to find a lovely lady who offered to look after Charlie for a while but 1 year later they are inseparable and are absolutely made for each other. He has his best friend and she has hers and it melts my heart knowing it all turned ok. I’ve since had to re-home Nellie and Hugo because my living situation changed. I found Nellie the hardest to let go as I’d had her since she was 4 months old and she is 5 now. Again I was able to find them both loving homes. The families have children and are always at home. They live around the corner from each other and see each other every other day. Hugo lives with another dog called Hugo and Nellie lives with the sister. I check in on them regularly to see how things are going and the families are so grateful for the opportunity of having such beautiful and well behaved dogs. I believe you are doing the right thing. xx Wow, great story! And just goes to show it can really work out for the best! Sometimes we have no other choice, and these are simply tough emotional decisions to make, aren't they?! I already know Wednesday is going to be very emotional for me, I think especially when it's done and I'm back in the car. But I'll give myself time before driving. I won't know how he's doing from there on out as a shelter doesn't keep you informed. But last time I had to let go of a cat I kept looking on their website to see if he was still there. And within a month he wasn't on the site anymore so I knew they'd found him another home. Shelters are very selective with where they place animals and to make sure it's a good match, so it will always be a good home. If not mistaken they even go over a few times to check on how the animal is doing. Thank you for understanding. Much appreciated!
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And that's where our views part: they're at the same level as family. I hear that a lot from people who don't have children, and I can understand. But I DO have children AND pets so I know the difference. In that sense I totally love my pets, go out on a limb for them if need be, but they will never be the same as my children. To me it's almost offensive to hear that since I have children. I think this is a bit of a split between people with and people without children. A pet is simply not the same, no matter how much you love them. And again, I understand they can be a bit of a replacement of sorts for people without children, and I certainly don't diminish the importance of pets. I mean, hell, I have them myself, and have had pets for years, most of my adult life. I couldn't imagine life without my cats. It'd be almost empty in a way. But they're still not the same as my kids. As for Bramble, how I'd feel, again you fail to shift perspective. Did you think that maybe he's going to be happy as a pig in chit to finally be able to feel like the king of his castle and to finally be able to relax, not feel jarred by having other cats around? Someone, a true petlover, just told me, you do this from Love, and this is something not everyone can do nor will do. And that's what it is. It's very hard for me to do. I'm an extremely sensitive loving Soul who attaches and loves anything & everything very easily. So to still do this, for Bramble's well-being as well as my other two cats, I think deserves some credit. To continue on this other view, yours: In this situation you would hold on to a cat even if it wasn't in his/her best interest. Meaning they'd live a stressful life and not truly happy. All because you can't let go. At least I am able to do the hard thing and make the tough decision: give my cats what is required. Again, this is something I think I've learnt from having children. Having kids can be very confronting at times, and you then learn you can't always have it the way you want it. Children don't have a choice, they can't choose other parents, but they sure as hell can confront you and make you rethink & question your views. This is the same. Bramble can't pack his bags and move to another place so I will have to be the responsible one and make the right choice for him. AND take responsibility for my other two cats who also have the right to live a stress-free life. I get that you may not get that insight, totally okay. I am not going to argue about it anymore. I've explained what I wanted to say, and thank goodness there are people who DO understand and gave me support, which was what I was looking for, not judgement. It's not for nothing I started a topic on this ---> because I felt & feel horrible about it and didn't know for sure what to do. To then kick against someone in that situation is totally uncalled for. I never kicked against you in general. I still understand it was a tough call alright. But here is the one point which strikes me. You said he has to go to a shelter. I know so many horrible strories about shelters, the so called Perreras in Spain, for example. Cats, that are not adopted after a couple of months are put down. Just because they are old, not friendly with kids or other cats  I also heard stories of shelters, where cats are sold to laboratories for animal testing, if nobody adopts them. To me, every cat deserves a good home. And Bramble would deserve a good home as well. If I was in the same boat, I would have tried other options, there is so many charities, even cat groups on FB. Did you even try these options, mind me asking? |
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Larsi that is my understanding of shelters too . there is a time limit .. and if a home is not found the animal is euthanised .
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Edited by
SparklingCrystal 💖💎
on
Wed 08/10/22 05:03 AM
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It is done. One of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
I unexpectedly had to go earlier, which was good for both him and me. Otherwise I would've had to keep him indoors for a few hours which only would've made him nervous. Now he had his breakfast without any stress or haste, and shortly after that we had to leave. I cuddled him first, said my goodbyes. Then in the carrier. Went easy, but was tough, felt like I got punched in the gut, I almost folded in half. Solar Plexus... Talked the him all the way over, as I always do with my cats as they never like being in a car. Arrived there, close to bursting out in tears, totally nervous. In any case, while I was giving them information about Bramble, they took him to a room (so he would be out of that carrier) where he will stay for at least a few days and until he has been vaccinated. This way he can 'land' and they can get to know him a bit before putting him with other cats. If they deem that not handy they will not do that. After approx. a week -after the vaccination etc- he will be available for replacement. Since I was so upset and crying, she asked if I wanted them to phone me when they'd found him another home. I of course said, yes. So I will at least stay informed. |
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Thank you, Delightful.
I'm sending all love and support I get on to Bramble via AA Fhelyai, the sunshine yellow AA of animals. Not directly as I feel it's best to not maintain an energetic tie to him.
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I phoned the shelter about Bramble yesterday. He's not online yet, which is where they are posted when ready to be placed in a new home.
I thought maybe they'd forgotten to phone me about him being placed, but not sure. I was a little concerned as even though I let go of him, I still love the animal. He's been checked by the vet, had a vaccination, turned out his gums were inflamed and they had to remove a few teeth. (I had NO idea). I can't recall but I think he's now chipped too as they do that with all animals. Because of all that it takes a cat a bit to settle and find his cool again of course. Plus for his gums to heal, it's a surgery with anaesthetic. Yesterday he was placed with a few other cats for the first time, and if that went well he'd be allowed to also go out today! They'll keep an eye on how he's doing so they can tell people who come to look for a cat what he's like. And the idea is to first have him completely at ease so he doesn't shy away when people come over. Wouldn't be good for him to get stressed out, nor for finding a new home. They have 3 rooms for cats with an outdoors attached to it so I guess they can 'mix and match' to accommodate all cats and give all the space to feel at ease AND go outdoors. Called a catio apparently, a cat enclosure. So all in all he's doing well. As for the teeth... apparently cats still eat everything, even hard dry food, without any teeth whatsoever?!!! So missing a few isn't an issue. I now plan to check his brother's teeth, and if he won't let me, to have it checked at the vets. I had a peek yesterday at part and I think it's not good. He wouldn't let me check the rest. I'll give it one more try, otherwise it's to the vets and hope he'll let her have a look. That will have to wait until my car is fixed though. In any case, Bramble is fine! Such a relief to know how he's doing! And they will phone me as soon as he's found a new home :D
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