This is something that's bothered me over the years. Recently, I found out that this man I'd been involved with is doing drugs and it certainly explains his major personality changes. We are no longer friends, for obvious reasons. But what makes a man choose to take this path?

men and women both fall into drugs its an addiction and stupidaty. I was once there and i am so glad i got away from it. My ex pheancee is still there for all i know

It's the easy way to a very pathetic form of satisfaction. Relationships, children, employment, house and car payments, extended family.....all of these things eventually become secondary to an addict. All those things require effort and responsiblity. Drugs don't. You get them, do them, you're high....pretty easy. No problems, no stress, no worries.....They get to avoid the technicalities of life. They get to walk away from life. Drugs are the choice they make when they don't have the stamina to make it in a normal and everyday society.

But what makes a man choose to take this path?

Pick your poison.

Drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, eating disorder, workaholism... The list goes on. Drugs are just one of the many things we can choose to be self destructive, outwardly destructive. All can have adverse effects on any person of any age and gender, as well as their relationships.

There are as many 'reasons' as to why as there are those who have these issues.

I abused drugs and alcohol simply because I chose to. For me... anything else said would just be me rationalizing and making excuses for my behavior.

Some say it is a disease, some say it is a life style choice.. I tend to agree with both of these theories, but I do not let it rent a whole bunch of space in my head. The more important question and answer in my life today is why I don't do these and the many other self destructive things I've done in the past. Again.. because I simply chose and try to choose not to.

The thing I've learned? Everyone on this earth has a self destructive behavior all their own. Mine just happens to have a name, and a place to go for help. Yours may not.. or simply be a behavior that is grouped with other behaviors under some generally over diagnosed disorder... then again ~ maybe not.

One self destructive behavior is not worse then the other. All of them, depending on the severity, almost always ends up the same... through very similar processes, if not dealt with. Dead is dead.

It is much easier to ask questions about others behaviors, then to take a hard look at your own. To call those inflicted with something you are not familiar with, pathetic, worthless and any number of descriptive words that completely omit that persons redeemable traits, and make it reasonable to write off that person for your own fears. When actually.. you should be staying back, not assisting them, not enabling them..out of care. Regardless of your fears.

What I've found is that those in my life who were quick to condemn me, turned out to be condemnable themselves, by their own standards.

How that applies or does not apply to each individual here who reads this, is not up to me. It's entirely up to you, the reader.

There are no easy answers for this. Some want to feel good and some want to escape reality. But what I have observed is that most of the people who are doing drugs to escape the harshness of their life usefully have a low self esteem, lack of (or no) quality friends and have no direction or goals in life. The drug of choice may help with their vanity while the drugs themselves puts them in a false sense of friendship other like minded people. And if you don’t have any ambition in life, this is all just a recipe for self destruction.

I’ve seen drugs destroy many lives and it’s all very sad but I’m also talking about the hard core ones verses the soft core. The addictions are powerful and relentless. Most of those people don’t understand that your mind may escape reality for a fraction of time, but in the real world your problems will always be there waiting for your return. I believe that if that individual can address the root cause to their issues coupled with some direction in life there may be hope. And other people who recognize this should step up to the plate and maybe help them to understand what poor choices their making and how this will have a negative impact on their overall health as well. I also understand that not everyone wants to be ‘helped’ or ‘saved from themselves’ so poeple would have to find the balance between helping those who need it and not imposing on those who just don’t give a s***.

The bottom line is if people took better care each other, many of the world’s problems wouldn’t exist.

You're right. But there are some that are so difficult to deal with, that even a friend can't help them see for the light of day. Even if I was to talk to his mother, who works at a hospital (she's not a nurse), there probably isn't much she'd say she feels she could do about him, since he is 42 years old.