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Topic: I dont understand....
KennethP5206's photo
Mon 02/11/08 07:07 PM

so sorry but sh*t happens....it'll be okay....flowerforyou


Sometimes there are times when that phrase (**** happens) is unappropriate, and this is one of those times. I think it's awful that her parents are thinking about getting divorced.

People just seem like marriage vows don't mean anything anymore.
Red I am sorry you are going through this.

LadyOfMagic's photo
Mon 02/11/08 07:08 PM
Edited by LadyOfMagic on Mon 02/11/08 07:10 PM
My grandparents were together 50+yrs..Til the day my grand daddy died..My grandmama went 2 weeks after he did..THATS what I want..a marriage that is literally "til death do us part" just like the vows say..but I don't think that I will ever find that.

KennethP5206's photo
Mon 02/11/08 07:15 PM

My grandparents were together 50+yrs..Til the day my grand daddy died..My grandmama went 2 weeks after he did..THATS what I want..a marriage that is literally "til death do us part" just like the vows say..but I don't think that I will ever find that.


Thats what I want too, but I hope it's a long and happy marriage

LadyOfMagic's photo
Mon 02/11/08 07:39 PM
I don't believe in "staying together for the kids"..Kids are kids..that doesn't mean they are stupid..if mommy and daddy aren't happy they know it which in turn makes THEM unhappy and thats unfair to them..it's best to sit them down and explain that mommy and daddy still love THEM..just not each other anymore and need to live apart.

itsmetina's photo
Mon 02/11/08 07:45 PM
a love that last 25 yrs is wonderful i'd like forever but its better to have love and lost than not to loved at all they gave it a good run be proud

LadyOfMagic's photo
Mon 02/11/08 07:46 PM

a love that last 25 yrs is wonderful i'd like forever but its better to have love and lost than not to loved at all they gave it a good run be proud

I agree

PacificStar48's photo
Mon 02/11/08 07:57 PM
Just because your parents are considering divorce does not mean it is absolute that it is going to happen.

Try to be calm and supportive of both parents without try to fix THEIR problems.

The suggestion that you find a good support group or professional counselor to help YOU get through this difficult period is excellent.

Your parents DIVORCE is a BIG DEAL no matter how old you are. Expect this is going to be a challenge that you can be sucessful in but that it is a challenge.

My prayers and positive thoughts are with you however this turns out.

TelephoneMan's photo
Mon 02/11/08 08:18 PM

My grandparents were together 50+yrs..Til the day my grand daddy died..My grandmama went 2 weeks after he did..THATS what I want..a marriage that is literally "til death do us part" just like the vows say..but I don't think that I will ever find that.


I honestly think the days of those types of things are past... the value system within our society has continually down-graded for the last 30 years, with the help of the politicians in power... and those fairy tale like years of the past are just that... in the past, forever...

That's my take on it, anyway...

Go to a different country, or different geographical location where they have a higher standard of family values, and maybe the fairy tale is still alive...

But it died in America about the time feminism, gay rights, and other oddities overtook us as household words....


LadyOfMagic's photo
Mon 02/11/08 08:23 PM


My grandparents were together 50+yrs..Til the day my grand daddy died..My grandmama went 2 weeks after he did..THATS what I want..a marriage that is literally "til death do us part" just like the vows say..but I don't think that I will ever find that.


I honestly think the days of those types of things are past... the value system within our society has continually down-graded for the last 30 years, with the help of the politicians in power... and those fairy tale like years of the past are just that... in the past, forever...

That's my take on it, anyway...

Go to a different country, or different geographical location where they have a higher standard of family values, and maybe the fairy tale is still alive...

But it died in America about the time feminism, gay rights, and other oddities overtook us as household words....



Feminism and gay rights over took us?..um..whats that mean plz

cutelildevilsmom's photo
Mon 02/11/08 08:27 PM



My grandparents were together 50+yrs..Til the day my grand daddy died..My grandmama went 2 weeks after he did..THATS what I want..a marriage that is literally "til death do us part" just like the vows say..but I don't think that I will ever find that.


I honestly think the days of those types of things are past... the value system within our society has continually down-graded for the last 30 years, with the help of the politicians in power... and those fairy tale like years of the past are just that... in the past, forever...

That's my take on it, anyway...

Go to a different country, or different geographical location where they have a higher standard of family values, and maybe the fairy tale is still alive...

But it died in America about the time feminism, gay rights, and other oddities overtook us as household words....



Feminism and gay rights over took us?..um..whats that mean plz


I've been divorced three times.I must really be butch!!laugh

Shaden's photo
Mon 02/11/08 08:34 PM
Edited by Shaden on Mon 02/11/08 08:35 PM
I'm sorry you are hurting. Due to my parents divorce when I was 7, I claimed I'd never get a divorce. Sometimes there is no choice and it's necessary to get out. I hated that it hurt my kids, but staying would have hurt worse. I'm especially sorry I waited 2 years too long. It took me leaving to come 100 perecent to grips with my parents divorce, or at least fully understand. I sure hope your healing doesn't take so many years!

unsure's photo
Mon 02/11/08 08:34 PM
I truly do think that a lot of the people that have been married for many many years have stayed together for the children. Then when the children leave they find out that they have nothing in common with their mate. I think they have to do what is in their best interest, it might not make us happy, but I do think life is to short to live your life with someone that you don't love anymore! Its hard enough to stay in a marriage with someone you love let alone stay in a marriage with someone that you don't.
I am sorry that you are going through this, but I suggest that you be strong for your parents and be there for them if they need to talk. In the end, talking about it will help you also. My thoughts are with you during your times of trouble flowerforyou

gammalight6000's photo
Mon 02/11/08 08:47 PM
mine split when i was 5...

BlueskyJ's photo
Mon 02/11/08 09:04 PM
i know they are your parents & so there is sadness for you...

but for them its a move in the direction of seeking out happiness & that they were not experiencing it....Be happy for them....

Teresita1959's photo
Mon 02/11/08 09:07 PM
Edited by Teresita1959 on Mon 02/11/08 09:15 PM
I was married 27 years and divorced a couple years ago... IT is ridiculous. I agree with you. I am sorry that adults can't behave better. I have to say, my ex did me a favor when he left. BUT... I know as well as you what a traumatic event it is/was in my life and my four son's life and my ex's, but I also know that we can all grow from it too. Try to always see the good coming out of the bad... It will give you hope, even in the most trying times.

TelephoneMan's photo
Tue 02/12/08 10:49 AM



My grandparents were together 50+yrs..Til the day my grand daddy died..My grandmama went 2 weeks after he did..THATS what I want..a marriage that is literally "til death do us part" just like the vows say..but I don't think that I will ever find that.


I honestly think the days of those types of things are past... the value system within our society has continually down-graded for the last 30 years, with the help of the politicians in power... and those fairy tale like years of the past are just that... in the past, forever...

That's my take on it, anyway...

Go to a different country, or different geographical location where they have a higher standard of family values, and maybe the fairy tale is still alive...

But it died in America about the time feminism, gay rights, and other oddities overtook us as household words....



Feminism and gay rights over took us?..um..whats that mean plz


The world changed after the sexual revolutions of the 1960s and 1970s... don't take the words out of context... there are more words than what you copy/pasted...

I said (quote) "But it (meaning family values) died in America about the time feminism, gay rights, and other oddities overtook us as household words...."

Meaning... 50 years ago, these words were still considered "taboos"... now they hand out condoms to our kids in school, and encourage them to accept and even embrace an "alternative (gay/lesbian) lifestyle"...

The value system of the family unit has severely down-graded over time...

If we embrace gay rights, and feminism, and new age of philosophies as such, then we must also embrace the recurring wave of occurrences that come along with them... it is impossible to separate the two... like the down-grading of the family value system... and the skyrocketing divorce rates... and other social dysfunctions in the American lifestyle...

America only possesses 5% of the world's population... but the thought bank from this 5% of people affects the rest of the world dramatically...

There are plenty of other locations of the globe where family values are high, and acceptance of these alternative philosophies are low... in order to be on the "cutting edge" of some new socially trendy system... the social organism must also accept the bi-products of the same creative processes...

One of those bi-products of accepting these new age philosophies, is the breaking up and down-grading of the family value system on a nation-wide scale... as Americans, its easy to look at it with blinders, because some group or philosophical force demands that we view these things in a particular way... but I don't ascribe to that school of "follow-me-I'm-trendy" type of thought processes...

As stated, I believe the American morale code, and value system has went to hell in a hand basket... and really, doesn't exist much in the mainstream anymore... just look at Hollywood, which IS in the main stream... and examine the value system portrayed by those in the power positions known as "stars"... people worship them, and mimick them... and these "stars" set the lifestyle patterns for an entire culture... other "stars" are professional musician types, and anyone who gets way too much media attention... the media circus (source) relays what the "stars" are doing, to the public eye of the media destination (television, radio, newspapers, magazines, etc...) and in turn, the people investigate on their own, and mimick the gods and stars they worship...

Not much to it, really... its fairly obvious how it all comes out.... its accepting the reality of it that is the hard part...





Teresita1959's photo
Tue 02/12/08 10:54 AM
Just checking to see if my keyboard will work. Ooh hoo... Hope everyone is having a great day.

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