Which is most tramatic and or heartbreaking death of a mate or being the one left behind by reason of divorce ?

No, not all.

Being widowed means you will never be able to see that person again....EVER.

Being divorced means you will see the other person, again, and again!!!

I think it would depend on the relationship at the time of the death or divorce???

I think they are both hard,depending on the circumstances

Death is harder, I think.

Death is the worse.

I think in a divorce it depends on whether you're the dumper or the dumpee. As AnnG said death means you never see that person again. In my case, we had time to plan but I don't know if that's any better or worse than an unexpected death. It's still hard.

My husband commited suicide 21 years ago...there was no goodbye or nothing. That's why like AnnG said at least with a divorce you can see the person again.

My heart goes out to you. Suicide is tough for everyone concerned,I hope that you have healed and you are ok.

Looks as if all the 50 and over have retired for the night already

Divorce is a seperation by choice.
Death is a complete seperation, that is usually NOT wanted.

Time seems to heal all wounds, although loved ones are still with us in spirit and hopefully good memories. Divorces are best remembered as lessons well learned - remember the good times and block all else - as it is not worth thinking about - its history - move forward with your life.

Time doesn't actualy heal all wounds. All it does is put a scab on it. As years go by the scab gets thicker and thicker but the old wound is still underneath the thick scab. Just my opinion.

I believe you're absolutely right, it's the way I feel!

I think you can spend energy trying to understand that if you need to. If not..healing is growth and has its own time. The fluff God allows should be lived in for as long as is needed. Leukemia gifted us time to heal in layers..he is gone and we are still unfolding. Only a heart knows its own sorrow. I married my husband, his wife had been murdered. I am now alone..who is to say.

Time just taught me to handle my feelings better.
Practice makes perfect.
Don't know about that, but like driving, I do a lot of it automatically.
Same for handling my grief, auto pilot; don't feel it as much.

I have to disagree with part of your statement. Divorce is a separation of choice by one or both of the parties. In a one sided case, I think divorce is just as severe as death because of the rejection involved.

I'm not saying dealing with death is easy. Far from it. It is final. There is no return. But if the death was not suicide, it was not a case of choice or rejection. That person is no longer with us physically but is in a better place spiritually. I know that's a lot of faith to depend on but I wholeheartedly believe that.

I believe that we are never truly separated from those we love by death. I believe we will be reunited again some day. Have faith, friend.

it would be hard to compare the two since all marriages and people are different. either way its not going to be easy the healing dosnt happen over night it takes time .Like they say time heals all wounds.

....for me.....it was the death of my mate in 1983.

Just acknowledging your loss...