Why do men say they want a independant none clingy women and when they
find that they really dont like it? I am very independant and I dont
call but maybe once a week, I dont need to see him all the time and I
take care of my own business, Men say thats what they need but when they
get it they think I am not intrested, Any input would be great! Thank
you

all the independent women I have dated end up being "sleep farters" and
they didn't even know it. I had to end it.

i bet that was helpful.

sleep farter?

Jarvis thinks that he is not one. I havent known a man yet that
wasnt! Lol.........You have to let off steam somehow when youre
perfect. Hofefully no one will ever know.

I am an "awake farter" Ma'am. Loud and proud. I am a guy though, so
it's a double standard, sorry.

try calling more than once a week

Just an opinion...they really ain't interested. If they aren't treating
you like there prize ferrari...start looking elsewhere

If you have to be attached at the hip (either you or him), it's
emotionally unhealthy. Most people SAY they want someone who isn't "up
their butt" all the time. But when they get someone like that, they
can't handle being ignored. Everyone wants their ego stroked
occassionally.

Just keep being yourself. The "right one" for each of us is out
there...somewhere.

When you meet someone "new", the initial stages of the relationship
means spending time together to get to know each other. After the
"newness" wheres off, compatability playes an important role in the
relationship. If the two of you aren't communicating very well, then
there's no common ground for the two of you to want to share in or spend
time together for....

Be who you are from the beginning. If you are independant then so be it.
"Your guy" will love that and it wont be a problem. DOnt change who you
are cuz it never works. If they say they want that and then give you a
hard time-well they arent being honest and I would count my blessing and
weed them out.
You shall know a tree by the fruit it bears. This is sooo
true. If you are looking for a peach tree then hang in there and wait
for the peaches girlfriend!

JUST SOMETHING I DUG UP....
MYTH: Loneliness Myth that marriage will end our loneliness.
REALITY: Many married people are still very lonely.

MYTH: Fulfillment Fallacy which makes us believe that being married
makes us complete human beings.
REALITY: A couple complements one another, not completes one another.

MYTH: Marriage Is for Everyone.
REALITY: There are a lot of unmarried people who are extremely happy.

MYTH: Monogamy Myth makes a couple believe that they are the only ones
who are dealing with infidelity or that it only happens to bad or weak
people.
REALITY: It is a societal issue that needs to be openly addressed so
that monogamy becomes more attainable for more people.

MYTH: Romance will always be alive in a good marriage.
REALITY: Nearly all relationships experience peaks and valleys. The
everyday problems and challenges of married life can often cloud over
romantic feelings. This is when making the decision to love is
important.

MYTH: Marriage makes people happy.
REALITY: We can't expect our spouse to be our one source of happiness.
Our personal happiness must come from within ourselves. Marriage can
complement our own individual happiness but it can't be the primary
source.

MYTH: We won't have major problems if we truly love one another.
REALITY: A good marriage doesn't just happen. It takes nurturing and
work.

MYTH: My spouse should know my needs without my saying anything.
REALITY: Just because we're married doesn't mean we can read minds. We
have to tell our spouses what our needs are.

MYTH: Conflict means a lack of love.
REALITY: Conflict happens in every marriage. Fighting fair and for the
relationship, and not just to "win" is healthy in a marriage.

We believe a marriage needs love, support, tolerance, communication,
realistic expectations, caring, nurturing, and a sense of humor to be
successful. Many of the more recent television shows like Mad About You,
Home Improvement, To Have and To Hold, The Cosby Show, Dharma & Greg,
and Everybody Loves Raymond reflect these values and show that marriages
can survive conflict, disappointment, and problems.

I have to agree with dewdrew. Where did you get the myth/reality thing?
It sounds like Dr. Phil. You need to be comfortable in your own skin
and enjoy your own company before you seek someone for a relationship.
If the guy isn't calling you he's not all that interested, so I wouldn't
waste my time on him. Sometimes when a man says he wants someone who is
independent, it may have hidden meaning, for instance he may be saying
he doesn't want a gold digger or someone who is so clingy that they
won't let him go out with the boys... People sometimes beat around the
bush and won't come right out and tell you where the bear shits in the
woods, so to speak. Hang in there, have faith and the right man will
come along.

CRAFTYLADY1960 --->""GOOGLE IS MY FRIEND"...HAHAA LOL.

I am an independent woman myself. I agree that men are really not
interested in a clingy woman who is dependent (nor should they be
interested). This kind of woman in my opinion sucks and should get a
life.

But, on the other hand, I have also seen men who if you are not showing
them 100% of your attention they become clingy. This has happened to me
and it totally turns me off.

To the person who started this post, I think calling once a week is good
(you could even get away with maybe twice or 3 times a week w/o being
clingy).

Sometimes they don't know what they want. Talk and reality are two
different things.

I have to say that most men like a little "chase". Subconciously they
do want the attention but just say they don't. There is an extremity in
the dating world. Not enough connection or too much. Both are not
good. It's when both partners find that middle ground - and thats when
it flourishes.

it goes for men and women.we have are ideal person in mind,but it is
funny when people get what they want they run.i think people are so used
to the way they were treated that when what they really want comes along
there not used to it and they run.it happens all the time.people seem to
like a challenge.to me.that is head games.

that reminds me of the lamest excuse i have ever heard before. i
actually had a girl say to me once," you are everything that i've been
looking for but..." i'm like but what i'm ugly, but what your dumb...i
had to laugh. i'm not a fragile person and if she just wasn't attracted
to the way i look that's all she had to say. lol it was just funny the
way she put it.

you're everything i've been looking for but.. people are insane man

Well in general the answer is, men and women BOTH say they want one
thing but when they get it, wonder if that's really what they wanted.
We're all human, let's face it - we don't really know WHAT we want. We
just know we don't have it yet, somehow!