Good heavens. You have had a career with them, girl!! Why unlist now? I mean, the navy.

Coz it makes you look like you're rather very judgmental.

Most guys consider the picking good, and a nice habit if it's in their noses. Their mothers tole them not to pick up girls, but the nose was and is normal territory.

And if a guy's shoe size stinks, then it's personal.

Where? Why, from where most other statisticians get it from.

It's been statistically proven that 98.4% of all statistics are made up out of thin air.

or on the cornea of your eyes.

Blessed be thee.

What happened there was that she wanted to catch you unawares "in flargranti", as you are disemboweling a third-party chick.

This is how women test the trustworthiness of a new man. if he is not doing any disembowling at random, chances are he is in that rare ten percent of the population who really doesn't. If he IS disembowling a different person, then you can be sure he is one of the regular guys who plays poker, watches football, watches strippers, bets on football and disembowels his women dates.

The last time I got a number off someone was in the days when not every second man was a mass murderer and their only hobby was not disembowling their dates as they progressed through the "After 8" chocolate stage with them in their boudouiaires.

So I would get the number, and call, and if a woman said, "no, but gimme yours and I'll call", then she never called. never. Ever. Not one. Not once.

so I find it an insult to my perceived testosterone levels when a woman refuses to give me her number and wants to get mine. It's also an insult to my intelligence, which grew bigger and bigger via repeated experience.

I don't even know how people ask each other out any more in the "meat and beef" section of the grocery store, on the street, at Walmart, in the soup kitchens.

Really. I see no action. Everyone comes in with a partner, and leaves with the same partner. No exceptions.

I wonder what makes the world move, because what it used to be, is not there any more.

This is a good one!

----------------

Edit... sorry, I have to take that back.

I thought at first that your text said that when she calledf roma an anonymous number, it was YOU who pretended she was someone else.

That's what I thought would have been ingenious.

If all that a woman wants is a big penis, then she needs to do no more than do as if all men were blow-up-dolls.

She just has to know where the valve exactly is.

Just like that. Word-for-word.

Don't they all?

I had a lot of wealthy, single women turn me down, with saying if I had only some malmacian blood in me.

I went home, drank a couple of gallons, and they would not even open the door for me when I returned to their houses.

I'll never figure out women properly, even if I live to be a thousand-years-old.

Haha!! I did that once, and the next day three transport trucks arrived chuck full of books the publishers could not get rid of.

I remember I saved like a maniac on heating bills, after I bought a wood burning stove.

Well. I dated some women who were within an inch or two of 6', and I'm 5'4".

I never got comments, coz people did not realize we were a couple. With one I remember going into a restaurant, it was a busy Sunday morning at bruch time, and we waited a long time for service. Finally I grabbed a waitress, and she said she though we'd been waiting for more people to arrive.

I don't know how self conscious these women were when we walked down the street, but one I remember was particularly keen on putting her arm around my neck or shoulder. And another one carried me in her arms. She did that for a good year or two, after which I became heavy, and two years old, so she gave up the pracice. She was at the time three times taller than I. The ballerina, who was 5 inches taller, and was my first girlfriend, she did say she did not like it, and i got high heels (this was in 1974, when they made those for men, for straight men, some were called "platform", some were called "high heeled", and they all looked dorky and stupid) and those shoes were a pain to wear.

I dated 1, that is, 1 woman who was shorter than I, shorter enough to realize how beautiful it is for man to bend down to kiss, or to hold her during the cha-cha or rhumba. She had some major league gazoongas, too, wonderful. Before she dated, she was the wife of the Toronto Transit Commission, employees: 78000+, annual budget: in the billions.

I asked about 59,000 women out who were shorter than I. 58,999 said no. They wanted a really tall guy. And the tall, really tall women were the ones who'd ask me, sort of hunt me down, you know.

This is no joke. For me it's the other way around. The longer I go without meeting people, the better balanced I become.

I only became well in the last six years since I first had a heart-attack like something, was when I moved away from my city, left all my friends, relatives and associates there, and came here, where I am almost always alone.

I haven't looked back yet.

If a country's population has a large number of very young who die of hunger, then we can safely say that in that country the want to procreate (to satisfy the Horn) is well met, but the need to feed is not well met.

To be quite honest, I am not sure if I am better off here in Canada, being double the weight I ought to be, or I would be better in some hungry place, where people fornicate left right and centre, and put the kids out to pasture.

If I were there, I would envy my fat here. If I were here, which I am, I would be jealous for their finding girlfriends easily.

I think there is no golden middle, other than the bottom of the Atlantic ocean (it's halfway between me and them.)

Every time I walk into my glass mirror I run into exactly such guy.

I only know of two places there in that city: 132 Pn'otosh street.

Also you can try the Karayyo Club on Pint'e Dama street.

Everybody in that town knows what the places are, so ask for directions to these two locations.

How much is the tax on a box of a few tampax packs?


My wife and I were watching, and a Tampax commercial came on. My wife says, "She really packs it in, don't she. Those thumbtax." "That's tampax", I said. "Tom, Harry, who cares," she said. "It's all Tom Thumb's Blues to me," she said.

I can't believe this. Therefore I am.

I had thought, and this is for real, that that was your most recent wedding photo. The veil. The white. The covered arms. The black-rimmed glasses.

Only sirs can sire a child. A lady... what does she do. She's a lady in waiting, until she gets sired, and then for a long while she is expecting. Then she goes back into the waiting position.

This is actually very good, B.

"You'll make the almanach."
"Get back to work."
"You are staring at me again."
"Please move down to the end of the bus."
"It looks like it's coming."
"...hWhat? You TOO?"
"It won't work."
"This will save the world."
"If you have to see any movie this year, this is it."
"One of the best 100 movies. Of this year."
"Honey?... Where is the remote?"
"Cost me $XX but it was worth it."
"Another one bites the dust."
"A dime a dozen."
"One born every minute."
"I've made it!! Yes!!"
"I wish I had Dolly Parton's mammaries and Arnold Schwarzenegger's body."
"Don't go there."
"Don't go in there!!"
"Don't let me go there."
"Come here."
"Don't make me go there."
"It is nine o'clock already?"
"Said the spider to the fly."
"Ad infinitum."
"Ad vicinis usque ad vicinum."
"Honey, the vacuum is on the fritz again."
"Bin der, dun dat."
"Go forth yourself and multiply."
"Cherry-sweet lips and apply pie."
"The green, green, grass of home."
"I want to go home. This is the worst trip. I never been so..."
"She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah!!!"