Topic: TIPS 4 Long Distance Relationships (LDR'S)
Peccy's photo
Wed 09/03/08 11:13 PM

Peccy, I hope you know we jist argued about that and his side of course was totally different.....

Thank you for your reply in here about that.

Dan... sigh we are in admiration.
I'm quite sure his side was totally different Lilith. I didn't expect it to be any other way! It was about posts on a board.......lol funny that I look back on it and see how much it pissed him off. That was also another clue I shouldn't have missed. He must have not had much to do if it got under his skin like that, but I'm glad it did!laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh

scotty1964's photo
Thu 09/04/08 01:18 AM
hey...........no one answered me or kid rock over therelaugh or whatever his name his haji.......or whatever.......hes cool but ..his name suckslaugh

Nursekimmie09's photo
Thu 09/04/08 01:40 AM
I have found myself in a LDR situation as well...
I thought it was something that I would never do because of the complications that can arise
But I love him so much that im going to do everything in my power to make it work
Good luck to everyone flowerforyou

Peccy's photo
Thu 09/04/08 01:48 AM

whas that peccy and some very gorgeous sweet girl? sorry i didnt read any of this.........but it said long distance.........so how do i get together with the beautiful and sweetest purplecat from Canada? i cant do this but i would love too..........:heart: :heart: :heart:
win the lottery, buy a jet.

Pink_lady's photo
Thu 09/04/08 01:51 AM
so my question is, which one of you is moving to be with the other person?...in the case of a LDR...eventually the goal is to be physically together..isnt it? Because if that isnt the goal then what kind of relationship do you have?..friendships can last forever, even if you dont share the same physical space..but if you are looking for a long term mate, then a LDR is an exercise in futility....


Well, in my case, *I* will be moving to England to be with Dan, purely because after much thought, we decided we could have a better quality of life there. I will be taking at least 1 of my sons with me, the other will be 18 by then, and i dont know if he will want to come.

I NEVER wouldve thought i would enter into a LDR, in fact, i was very much against them before i met Dan. I think it changed cos i fell in love, and also, altho were in diff countries, we r only about an hrs flight away from eachother, 332 miles to be exact!

We do all the things that were listed in the op, and we manage to maintain a healthy loving relationship, and were both very happy.


DTHRomeo's photo
Thu 09/04/08 01:51 AM
Thanks for the advice

Good luck to you two flowerforyou

Peccy's photo
Thu 09/04/08 02:05 AM

so my question is, which one of you is moving to be with the other person?...in the case of a LDR...eventually the goal is to be physically together..isnt it? Because if that isnt the goal then what kind of relationship do you have?..friendships can last forever, even if you dont share the same physical space..but if you are looking for a long term mate, then a LDR is an exercise in futility....



I'm gonna be the one to move. She has a 16 yo in school and a home business to run. She can't up and leave, whereas I can. Plans are to move out of southern GA further North, away from the gators!.......lol in two years when her daughter finishes school.

lilangel2's photo
Thu 09/04/08 11:53 AM

I have found myself in a LDR situation as well...
I thought it was something that I would never do because of the complications that can arise
But I love him so much that im going to do everything in my power to make it work
Good luck to everyone flowerforyou



Awww well good luck to you Kimmie...that is what any relationship takes..."everything in your power".flowerforyou

cutelildevilsmom's photo
Thu 09/04/08 01:42 PM

First of all Angel & Pec...congrats!!! LDR's CAN and DO work. Granted it takes two people who are committed to that relationship and lots & lots of communication. Honesty at all times.

I was on vacation one year in Myrtle Beach. He was from Canada and was there playing golf. We had a blast that week. Found that each of us went there the same time of year and met there again the next year. It was then we decided to give a relationship a try.

It worked for 5 years and it was wonderful. His job required him to travel a good deal so we were able to meet 3 or 4x a year for 3 or 4 days at a time. Sometimes more often. The main reason it stayed LDR was because I still had a child at home, she was in high school. I wouldn't have been moving to another state...but to another country and I wouldn't do that to her.

The relationship ended, not because of distance, not because we didn't love each other, not because we didn't plan our future, but because an accident caused him to be paralyzed like Christopher Reeves was and because of complications, his life ended within two years of the accident. This was the most wonderful relationship I've ever had. We NEVER took our time together for granted, we never took EACH OTHER for granted. Each new time together was almost like the first time but better. We were ALWAYS considerate and respectful of each other's feelings. Yes, there were times when we wished we could be with each other at that very moment...but there was always the phone and pc. There is enough loneliness in this world, enough sadness, enough pain. If you can find love and happiness 1 mile apart or 5000 miles apart...grab it with all you've got! There are NO guarantees EVER about ANYTHING.

Good Luck to you both!!!!

tears what a sad story but you still have a great outlook on life..my heart goes out to you.

feralcatlady's photo
Thu 09/04/08 04:29 PM
I have one bit advise to give any LDR couples. Especially those that meet on line. Don't stay on the site unless you are individually strong as well as a couple...This is why. I have been doing the matchmaking Game for almost a year now. This is my observation. A man/woman will not get the time of day but as soon as there hooked up in come the vultures wanting to tear them apart.

Now if you not strong individual and as a couple then they can rip you apart. And if you don't make a pact.....that if anyone says jack diddly you go to each other first and ask don't just assume what they say is truth. I have not only seen this happen but in one instance told him it was going to happen and who was going to do it.


feralcatlady's photo
Thu 09/04/08 04:36 PM

As well, it is much, much, much easier to lie and hide things from the other in an LDR. My ex decided telling me he had an active warrant for a DUI wasn't important. Oh, and I didn't know about the DUI either, or the fact that he had no valid license and was supposed to be moving here. Oh, and I also didn't know he barely worked and donated plasma to buy cigarettes. He let me buy his plane ticket and never repaid me even half, and at the end flat out stole $200. In sum, he showed me what he wanted me to see and after a few months I put it together on my own. If it wasn't an LDR situation I'd have seen it sooner.

Communication and being an open book is key.

Words of caution. BE CAREFUL.


He is vile and also hurt many others...including me a supposed friend....boy for a man who preached the truth and nothing but...he should of taken his own advise. If their was ever a better con I would never know it...Not to many get past my instincts...he not only did but had full reign of my computer for 8 hours.....Don't even want to go into the nasty that happen because of that......pathetic excuse for not only a man but a human being.

Dan99's photo
Thu 09/04/08 04:38 PM

I have one bit advise to give any LDR couples. Especially those that meet on line. Don't stay on the site unless you are individually strong as well as a couple...This is why. I have been doing the matchmaking Game for almost a year now. This is my observation. A man/woman will not get the time of day but as soon as there hooked up in come the vultures wanting to tear them apart.

Now if you not strong individual and as a couple then they can rip you apart. And if you don't make a pact.....that if anyone says jack diddly you go to each other first and ask don't just assume what they say is truth. I have not only seen this happen but in one instance told him it was going to happen and who was going to do it.




As you know i am in a LDR and i met her online. Previous to her i was in other online relationships. I have never had any of these 'vultures' trying to tear us apart. People that experience this are often just up to things they shouldnt and deserve it, or they are after some attention and twist things people say to make drama out of nothing.


lilangel2's photo
Thu 09/04/08 04:41 PM

I have one bit advise to give any LDR couples. Especially those that meet on line. Don't stay on the site unless you are individually strong as well as a couple...This is why. I have been doing the matchmaking Game for almost a year now. This is my observation. A man/woman will not get the time of day but as soon as there hooked up in come the vultures wanting to tear them apart.

Now if you not strong individual and as a couple then they can rip you apart. And if you don't make a pact.....that if anyone says jack diddly you go to each other first and ask don't just assume what they say is truth. I have not only seen this happen but in one instance told him it was going to happen and who was going to do it.




I know. Isn't that sad that people would do that?

lilith401's photo
Thu 09/04/08 04:48 PM

As you know i am in a LDR and i met her online. Previous to her i was in other online relationships. I have never had any of these 'vultures' trying to tear us apart. People that experience this are often just up to things they shouldnt and deserve it, or they are after some attention and twist things people say to make drama out of nothing.


I've seen this as well, and it happens for a variety of reasons. I've seen it where they deserved it and also where they didn't. I think it can be a harmless flirtation and then it can snowball out of insecurity. It all just depends on the players. From the little I know of you too, you could care less about the drama or flirtation. Not all people are so strong. Or so lucky in the relationship they are in.

The level of communication, as said before, is what is key. For both you and Angel's situation, that does not seem to be an issue.

Ruth34611's photo
Thu 09/04/08 04:49 PM

First of all Angel & Pec...congrats!!! LDR's CAN and DO work. Granted it takes two people who are committed to that relationship and lots & lots of communication. Honesty at all times.

I was on vacation one year in Myrtle Beach. He was from Canada and was there playing golf. We had a blast that week. Found that each of us went there the same time of year and met there again the next year. It was then we decided to give a relationship a try.

It worked for 5 years and it was wonderful. His job required him to travel a good deal so we were able to meet 3 or 4x a year for 3 or 4 days at a time. Sometimes more often. The main reason it stayed LDR was because I still had a child at home, she was in high school. I wouldn't have been moving to another state...but to another country and I wouldn't do that to her.

The relationship ended, not because of distance, not because we didn't love each other, not because we didn't plan our future, but because an accident caused him to be paralyzed like Christopher Reeves was and because of complications, his life ended within two years of the accident. This was the most wonderful relationship I've ever had. We NEVER took our time together for granted, we never took EACH OTHER for granted. Each new time together was almost like the first time but better. We were ALWAYS considerate and respectful of each other's feelings. Yes, there were times when we wished we could be with each other at that very moment...but there was always the phone and pc. There is enough loneliness in this world, enough sadness, enough pain. If you can find love and happiness 1 mile apart or 5000 miles apart...grab it with all you've got! There are NO guarantees EVER about ANYTHING.

Good Luck to you both!!!!


Wow. That is a very inspiring story. And, I agree totally, there are no guarantees and if you always insist upon playing it safe you could miss out on the best opportunities.

Peccy's photo
Thu 09/04/08 04:50 PM
no we may communicate too much!!!!!!

feralcatlady's photo
Thu 09/04/08 04:50 PM


I have one bit advise to give any LDR couples. Especially those that meet on line. Don't stay on the site unless you are individually strong as well as a couple...This is why. I have been doing the matchmaking Game for almost a year now. This is my observation. A man/woman will not get the time of day but as soon as there hooked up in come the vultures wanting to tear them apart.

Now if you not strong individual and as a couple then they can rip you apart. And if you don't make a pact.....that if anyone says jack diddly you go to each other first and ask don't just assume what they say is truth. I have not only seen this happen but in one instance told him it was going to happen and who was going to do it.




As you know i am in a LDR and i met her online. Previous to her i was in other online relationships. I have never had any of these 'vultures' trying to tear us apart. People that experience this are often just up to things they shouldnt and deserve it, or they are after some attention and twist things people say to make drama out of nothing.




well on the vultures side I agree....they were drama all over the place. But I have seen it over and over again. I will give you another example. I had one guy that I adored he was just a gem of a man...He was in the game for 20 games. And I them made a post. How sweet, kind, and the best flirt ever. You guessed it....all of the sudden all the ladies wanted him. Explain that one?

awolf1010's photo
Thu 09/04/08 04:52 PM
I must say we have seen it too!!!
open communication is the key!!! yes life has thrown us some curves,but we get through everything together!!!!


lilangel2's photo
Thu 09/04/08 04:52 PM
Edited by lilangel2 on Thu 09/04/08 04:53 PM



I have one bit advise to give any LDR couples. Especially those that meet on line. Don't stay on the site unless you are individually strong as well as a couple...This is why. I have been doing the matchmaking Game for almost a year now. This is my observation. A man/woman will not get the time of day but as soon as there hooked up in come the vultures wanting to tear them apart.

Now if you not strong individual and as a couple then they can rip you apart. And if you don't make a pact.....that if anyone says jack diddly you go to each other first and ask don't just assume what they say is truth. I have not only seen this happen but in one instance told him it was going to happen and who was going to do it.




As you know i am in a LDR and i met her online. Previous to her i was in other online relationships. I have never had any of these 'vultures' trying to tear us apart. People that experience this are often just up to things they shouldnt and deserve it, or they are after some attention and twist things people say to make drama out of nothing.




well on the vultures side I agree....they were drama all over the place. But I have seen it over and over again. I will give you another example. I had one guy that I adored he was just a gem of a man...He was in the game for 20 games. And I them made a post. How sweet, kind, and the best flirt ever. You guessed it....all of the sudden all the ladies wanted him. Explain that one?


People want what they think they can't have....perhaps?what

or does someone just become more attractive if someone else recognises them as attractive???what

no photo
Thu 09/04/08 04:53 PM
yea--ldr is hard but--it's improving a lot better if the contact were made daily--i'm still with blonderockermom daily--i bought her the flight ticket and she came--great times--then later on i flew to meet her--another great times--
but yea it can happens--so i'm moving up there soon-to be with her--bigsmile