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Topic: affection
msskarly's photo
Mon 10/20/08 02:40 PM
In the beginning of my relationship my guy was so sweet and loving! Its a long distance relationship so we thought of creative ways to show affection. I would watch wrestling (which i HATE) bc he liked it and he would watch chick flicks with me to make me happy! Now we have been together for 5months and he doesn't do those things anymore. I still watch wrestling, send him mail, packages, leave him cute notes and text but he doesn't return the love! When I told him how i was feeling he just got defensive, said saying I love you on the phone is enough and that he shouldnt have to "kiss my ass" but I dont see it as that! What do you think is going on? And is there any way I can make him be more affectionate!?

irad8you's photo
Mon 10/20/08 02:43 PM
4th and 10, time to punt.

no photo
Mon 10/20/08 02:43 PM

And is there any way I can make him be more affectionate!?


There's the whole problem -- you can't MAKE him do anything.

Any time you find yourself wanting to know how you can MAKE somebody do something, things are moving downhill. If he won't respond to affection and rational attempts to discuss the problem, you're wasting your time.


itsmetina's photo
Mon 10/20/08 02:44 PM
I'd have to move wherever my love was or he move where I amlove love love

msskarly's photo
Mon 10/20/08 02:46 PM
Huh?

msskarly's photo
Mon 10/20/08 02:47 PM
I cant bc I have spent too much on college to ruin it by moving and not having my credits transfer, and he cant bc of his daughter

itsmetina's photo
Mon 10/20/08 02:49 PM
flowerforyou

I cant bc I have spent too much on college to ruin it by moving and not having my credits transfer, and he cant bc of his daughter
flowerforyou sorry hope it works out for yaflowerforyou

no photo
Mon 10/20/08 02:50 PM
Sounds like he is a NEGATIVE ENERGY VAMPIRE.devil

no photo
Mon 10/20/08 03:04 PM
It sounds pretty typical, the "chase". He "has" you, got comfy with it, and you, doesn't feel he needs to impress or show his care like he did in the beginning. And, you're still putting it out there for him. If he'd not been doing the "chase" bit in the first place, you wouldn't expect it or miss it. Now you got used to it and you're still making the effort to ensure he knows you are considerate of him.

Tazz42's photo
Mon 10/20/08 03:12 PM

It sounds pretty typical, the "chase". He "has" you, got comfy with it, and you, doesn't feel he needs to impress or show his care like he did in the beginning. And, you're still putting it out there for him. If he'd not been doing the "chase" bit in the first place, you wouldn't expect it or miss it. Now you got used to it and you're still making the effort to ensure he knows you are considerate of him.


BINGO!!!! I totally agree~

MicheleNC's photo
Mon 10/20/08 03:22 PM


And is there any way I can make him be more affectionate!?


There's the whole problem -- you can't MAKE him do anything.

Any time you find yourself wanting to know how you can MAKE somebody do something, things are moving downhill. If he won't respond to affection and rational attempts to discuss the problem, you're wasting your time.




I don't make monkeys, I train them!

Agreeing with above, he is comfortable and not trying as hard. Guys and girls alike do that.

Joaverage's photo
Mon 10/20/08 03:46 PM
As pretty as you are, he should be kissing your
@zz just because. And especially a long distance
relationship. He doesn't appreciate you. Doesn't
respect you. Doesn't care about hurting your feelings. Get rid of him, he's not going to change. I think he's shown you by not doing things for you. There are many nice guys out there
that will treat you right.

no photo
Mon 10/20/08 04:04 PM
I am so in love with my exboyfriend..But he has no trust in me to be faithful to him..And for over a year I let him control me..Even got physically abusive..I still love him..Wish it could be the way it was in the beginning!

no photo
Mon 10/20/08 04:06 PM
So upset, the doctor gave me pills for it..my hair was falling out and I couldn't sleep or eat..Now,I don't even leave my house much..

dolphin14's photo
Mon 10/20/08 04:13 PM

In the beginning of my relationship my guy was so sweet and loving! Its a long distance relationship so we thought of creative ways to show affection. I would watch wrestling (which i HATE) bc he liked it and he would watch chick flicks with me to make me happy! Now we have been together for 5months and he doesn't do those things anymore. I still watch wrestling, send him mail, packages, leave him cute notes and text but he doesn't return the love! When I told him how i was feeling he just got defensive, said saying I love you on the phone is enough and that he shouldnt have to "kiss my ass" but I dont see it as that! What do you think is going on? And is there any way I can make him be more affectionate!?


I was told by an ex that men do that to get some and once they get it they don't have to do those things anymore cuz they have u. True or not i have to see some truth to it.

no photo
Mon 10/20/08 04:19 PM
He's probably bored.

no photo
Mon 10/20/08 04:23 PM

He's probably bored.
Duh???You think?

luv2roknroll's photo
Mon 10/20/08 04:27 PM
Maybe he needs a wake-up call...as in..

if you think im boring dude...

lets see who doesnt!!!!

You hardly look to me like anyone I would get bored with!!!

Dont let him make you feel like yesterdays lunch...go see who thinks your the house specialty!!!!

no photo
Mon 10/20/08 04:28 PM


He's probably bored.
Duh???You think?



Sorry, I didn't see that answer in here yet...

Plainome's photo
Mon 10/20/08 04:34 PM
Time to move on babe.

Tis true, that things kind of slow down after while, but 5 months?? Well, if he's already acting like this now........it will only get worse.

Frankly, the comment he made about kissing your ass, should have been enough to tell you that he doesn't respect you much.

Don't make someone a priority who doesn't make you one. Plain and simple. Stop doing the little things for him.

As a matter of fact, say "Hey, I ENJOY doing the little things for you, but I also want to be with someone who ENJOYS doing them for me, since that doesn't seem to be you, I guess we'll be saying goodbye."

If he looks at it as "kissing your ass" and he doesn't feel he should have to do it............that means he doesn't WANT to do it, meaning he isn't what you want.......

Move on. Just be glad this happened BEFORE you moved there, or something else.


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