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Topic: Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda........
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Sun 01/11/09 10:31 AM
I once told a girlfriend that I knew her man was cheating on her. She got mad and questioned my motives and never spoke to me again. They divorced a few years later and guess why? But was it worth it for me to speak up?


Have you ever watched something play out and realized you knew all along what the end result was going to be?

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Sun 01/11/09 10:34 AM
That's a darned if you do, darned if you don't issue. Had you kept your mouth shut, she'd have been upset, too.

I've had it happen, but even if the friendship ends, I was a good friend for telling.

prisoner's photo
Sun 01/11/09 10:35 AM
i wish i knew what the end result of todays bills eagles game would be...i would put money on it be seeing you

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Sun 01/11/09 10:36 AM
you did the right thing! flowerforyou

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Sun 01/11/09 10:38 AM

I once told a girlfriend that I knew her man was cheating on her. She got mad and questioned my motives and never spoke to me again. They divorced a few years later and guess why? But was it worth it for me to speak up?


Have you ever watched something play out and realized you knew all along what the end result was going to be?



Yea, it happens to me with one of my GF. Not long after that she catch her husband in her aunt bed .And she was telling me that I am jealous on her happiness

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Sun 01/11/09 10:39 AM

you did the right thing! flowerforyou

Yes I did!

Some things are so predictable though, you just wonder why the other person can't see it.

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Sun 01/11/09 10:40 AM


I once told a girlfriend that I knew her man was cheating on her. She got mad and questioned my motives and never spoke to me again. They divorced a few years later and guess why? But was it worth it for me to speak up?


Have you ever watched something play out and realized you knew all along what the end result was going to be?



Yea, it happens to me with one of my GF. Not long after that she catch her husband in her aunt bed .And she was telling me that I am jealous on her happiness


Yes, that's exactly why my friend questioned my motives too. She felt I was trying to rain on her parade. Which was so far from the truth.

PATSFAN's photo
Sun 01/11/09 10:40 AM
I learned a long time ago to stay out of other peoples problems, getting caught in the middle can get ugly. That's just me

AndyBgood's photo
Sun 01/11/09 10:41 AM
Heck yes. She put the warnings of her friends ahead of common sense. She reaped the reward of her ignorance and she lost a friend that was looking out for her.


I would call that graceful and not in a good way.


you did what I would hope a real friend would have done.

drinker

Too bad she was not smart enough to see that you were giving her a dog alert.

This is what she has to be doing now...frustrated

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Sun 01/11/09 10:42 AM
Once I had a friend who was in a new relation for a few weeks and he seem happy with her said he loved her but one night he told me he was also screwing another girl on the side just in case it didn't work with the other. Told him he was a bastard and I've never spoken or seen him since.

If he can screw the woman he said he loved then that's not a person I want to call a friend. Your actions defines who you are.

MsCarmen's photo
Sun 01/11/09 10:43 AM

That's a darned if you do, darned if you don't issue. Had you kept your mouth shut, she'd have been upset, too.

I've had it happen, but even if the friendship ends, I was a good friend for telling.


I agree. Personally, I would speak up. I'd rather be honest and tell them and take the chance of losing their friendship. If I was in that situation, I'd want someone to tell me right from the start.

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Sun 01/11/09 10:46 AM

Once I had a friend who was in a new relation for a few weeks and he seem happy with her said he loved her but one night he told me he was also screwing another girl on the side just in case it didn't work with the other. Told him he was a bastard and I've never spoken or seen him since.

If he can screw the woman he said he loved then that's not a person I want to call a friend. Your actions defines who you are.
flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou

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Sun 01/11/09 10:48 AM

I learned a long time ago to stay out of other peoples problems, getting caught in the middle can get ugly. That's just me


It certainly did get ugly that time. Maybe I was too direct. With the same token, I would want someone who had some valid proof to be telling me if it was me.

On that note......I see it happening even here on mingle. Not the "cheating" thing per say, but rather a pattern people tend to have and you just kind of know how it's all going to play out. Sad, but true.

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Sun 01/11/09 10:55 AM

I once told a girlfriend that I knew her man was cheating on her. She got mad and questioned my motives and never spoke to me again. They divorced a few years later and guess why? But was it worth it for me to speak up?


Have you ever watched something play out and realized you knew all along what the end result was going to be?



i always speak up if i hear something...i won't let my friends go round not knowing. if they can't stay friends after, they were never really my friend.

last friend i warned stayed with the bastage 7 years before she got smart and sent him packing. *shruggs*

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Sun 01/11/09 10:56 AM

Once I had a friend who was in a new relation for a few weeks and he seem happy with her said he loved her but one night he told me he was also screwing another girl on the side just in case it didn't work with the other. Told him he was a bastard and I've never spoken or seen him since.


Good for you!!!

lcjw's photo
Sun 01/11/09 10:58 AM
I think you did the right thing. If my husban/boyfriend/ lover/ is cheating on me, and one of my friends know about it, I would like to know.

STARTRAVELER's photo
Sun 01/11/09 11:08 AM
Edited by STARTRAVELER on Sun 01/11/09 11:09 AM
I only wish I had had someone to tell me ! You did the right thing .Turns out they're were people that knew in my case but it was'nt my freindship that mattered it was hers . Go figure protect the cheater instead of the innocent ! shows what kind of friends they valued .

SitkaRains's photo
Sun 01/11/09 11:27 AM
I also told one of my closest friends about her husband. She didn't believe me either. Well I then made a decision that from that point on I would not say anything but I would make sure they were caught somehow and they usually are...

Citizen_Joe's photo
Sun 01/11/09 12:01 PM

I once told a girlfriend that I knew her man was cheating on her. She got mad and questioned my motives and never spoke to me again. They divorced a few years later and guess why? But was it worth it for me to speak up?


Have you ever watched something play out and realized you knew all along what the end result was going to be?



A real friend will tell you when there's a booger hanging out of your nose. If you did what you felt was right, you probably were right. If nothing else, her eyes were opened just wide enough to see it when the clues started showing.

Citizen_Joe's photo
Sun 01/11/09 12:03 PM


you did the right thing! flowerforyou

Yes I did!

Some things are so predictable though, you just wonder why the other person can't see it.


More accurately, doesn't want to see it. Delusions are really wonderful, until evidence causes them to crumble.

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