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Topic: help needed
LisaLuv2's photo
Fri 03/20/09 01:26 PM
So I met what seems to be a nice guy a week ago today. I have always been the type of person to move slowly. Be it that I think it wise or my trust issues kick in. All and all I like the pase of moving things slowly. So this new guy has asked me of relationships past and I let him know that I have been hurt before, much like all of us. I am not holding it against him, but I am also not readily available to give my all just yet. He thinks after a week of knowing him, I should know him well enough to trust him. Am I wrong to be holding back.......??? what

MeChrissy2's photo
Fri 03/20/09 01:27 PM
Trust yourself Lisa. You know where you've been and where you want to go. flowerforyou

Dan99's photo
Fri 03/20/09 01:28 PM
Nope, hold back all you want. Its better to take things slowly, one week is nothing.

LisaLuv2's photo
Fri 03/20/09 01:28 PM
I want to move forward, just slowly

no photo
Fri 03/20/09 01:30 PM

Nope, hold back all you want. Its better to take things slowly, one week is nothing.


I agree with Dan. Anyone who asks or expects you to trust him in a week is being unrealistic, at best....



LisaLuv2's photo
Fri 03/20/09 01:32 PM
this helps alot really, he is nice but dammit things change so fast......slow is good

GuardianAngelMan's photo
Fri 03/20/09 01:32 PM
Take your time, if he cares enough about you he will wait for you.

BertDCaveman's photo
Fri 03/20/09 01:33 PM
No you have to be in your comfort zone.

no photo
Fri 03/20/09 01:47 PM
We submit for your approval, a place and time where men and women met and talk, get to know each other and have a special kind of date. They haven't met in the usual ways, not at work or school, not in the customary social gatherings like church or parties, they haven't been introduced by friends or family. No. They meet in a special way though machines that can communicate through space, across the country and even across the planet. No real words are spoken and very few actually meet face to face, in our understanding of space and time. They met via a thing called the Internet, which sometimes is a net of deceit, misrepresentation and out right lies. In a world of computer generated people and personalities, where a 50 yr old married man can present himself as a single young man in search of love.

In a place known only as ...................The Twilight Zone.......




AndyBgood's photo
Fri 03/20/09 01:49 PM

So I met what seems to be a nice guy a week ago today. I have always been the type of person to move slowly. Be it that I think it wise or my trust issues kick in. All and all I like the pase of moving things slowly. So this new guy has asked me of relationships past and I let him know that I have been hurt before, much like all of us. I am not holding it against him, but I am also not readily available to give my all just yet. He thinks after a week of knowing him, I should know him well enough to trust him. Am I wrong to be holding back.......??? what


NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO and NO!

Don't let ANYONE make you move any faster than you are comfortable with. Dog School 101: Be wary of anyone that insists that you can trust them! 95% of the time that is an out and out lie!
Both trust and respect are earned! Both take time. If he can't move at your pace he needs to move on. The "trust me" play is used a lot by manipulators and Players! If your radar is going off it is for a reason! Trust yourself more than others FIRST!

no photo
Fri 03/20/09 01:54 PM
No worries, that's completely normal, just a week is a short time to trust someone, that's not enough time to really know somebody. If he doesn't understand, get rid of him.

tomohawk's photo
Fri 03/20/09 02:08 PM
Lisa if this guy has any respect for you and would like a future with you then he will let you take things at a pace you feel comfortable with.Let his actions earn your trust,not his words x

BentWrenches's photo
Fri 03/20/09 02:12 PM
whats a week took me twenty years to figure my ex out, took two doctors to diagnose her, manic depressive , explained a whole lot

SitkaRains's photo
Fri 03/20/09 03:51 PM

So I met what seems to be a nice guy a week ago today. I have always been the type of person to move slowly. Be it that I think it wise or my trust issues kick in. All and all I like the pase of moving things slowly. So this new guy has asked me of relationships past and I let him know that I have been hurt before, much like all of us. I am not holding it against him, but I am also not readily available to give my all just yet. He thinks after a week of knowing him, I should know him well enough to trust him. Am I wrong to be holding back.......??? what


One Week and you are supposed to know him well and trust him.. Not if you have the brains that God gave a Piss Ant... Heck, one week isn't even long enough for me to begin to think in terms of let's see where this is going let alone exclusivity.

I think if someone pushed me this quick I would be on red alert and be stepping back a bit.

Jess642's photo
Fri 03/20/09 04:06 PM
Fool me once, shame on you...fool me twice...shame on me.


The guy asked about prior relationships....YOU said the rest.

I didn't hear in your post he cracked a hissy fit, because YOU said you don't trust him...

Stop over-analysing... he'll make up his own mind if you are too much like hard work.... or if he requires your trust.

Did he ask you to marry him? Nup. Then get over yourself....

People with 'issues' are the ones that usually repel decent people, all by themselves.

Work on you... and leave him to decide what HE wants.

lovethelord's photo
Fri 03/20/09 06:14 PM

Lisa if this guy has any respect for you and would like a future with you then he will let you take things at a pace you feel comfortable with.Let his actions earn your trust,not his words x

Listen to this man Lisa.. He is smart!!
Also cute.. wait ditch the other guy I like this one for you!flowerforyou love flowerforyou love

Destin2gocrazy's photo
Fri 03/20/09 06:24 PM
I think you should follow your instincts. We learn harsh lessons by past hurts. If he respects you- he will follow your lead. Remember your worth waiting for. (gee- had I applied that to myself... ) HUGS!

LisaLuv2's photo
Sat 03/21/09 07:08 AM

Fool me once, shame on you...fool me twice...shame on me.


The guy asked about prior relationships....YOU said the rest.

I didn't hear in your post he cracked a hissy fit, because YOU said you don't trust him...

Stop over-analysing... he'll make up his own mind if you are too much like hard work.... or if he requires your trust.

Did he ask you to marry him? Nup. Then get over yourself....

People with 'issues' are the ones that usually repel decent people, all by themselves.

Work on you... and leave him to decide what HE wants.


Get over myself???? WOW! That is what this is. Either you have never been hurt before or hopefully for your sake just heartless. I am giving the guy a chance. I do think he is nice and could be completely wonderful, but why does it have to be rush rush. If you like someone all that much then you should have the respect to give them what they require. All I require is time to adjust. Damn evil me!!!

evilbabe277's photo
Sat 03/21/09 07:16 AM
Lisa listen to your heart... You are comfortable taking it slow, he should respect that and if he doesn's something is wrong.. Do what you feel is right not what he is telling you he feels is right.. All in all its respect... JMO

LisaLuv2's photo
Sat 03/21/09 07:27 AM
thank you, he really is sweet, and seems like the guy I have been looking for. It has only been a week though, so it is hard to decide what to do. I am having a bit of a conflict here. I would love to run blindly into it, you know jump off a ledge and hope there is something soft and bouncy to catch me. I am just a little scared.

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