Topic: How to move on
Tanzkity's photo
Thu 04/09/09 08:33 PM
Edited by Tanzkity on Thu 04/09/09 08:33 PM
I used to be in a 2 year relationship with a man that I thought I would spend the rest of my life with..........anyways because of recent changes in his life (moving to another state) to be with his kids we decided to have a ldr until I transfered there in a couple of months........He has been there for 3 months and his job situation hasnt been stable.............knowing this I talked to him and expressed my concern of how things were going to be after I moved there in about (3 months) and so I told him that maybe I should stay here and finish school here............anyways I didnt think what I said was so bad but he thought I broke his heart and that pretty much without saying that I had betrayed him................so he broke up with me and wished me well............well it hasnt been easy being without him..........I cant even phantom what to do about letting him go because he has been in my life for awhile...........but since we cant be together I have to move on..............


how does someone do that move on and was he right did I really betray him.............


no photo
Thu 04/09/09 08:40 PM
You say you have been in a relationship with this man for 2 years, yet you have been on this site for a year.......So yes you betrayed him.. Sounds like you were never fully committed to him anyway. Let him go to find someone who wants him completely.

Winx's photo
Thu 04/09/09 08:40 PM
How long will it be until you finish school?

Johncenawlife316's photo
Thu 04/09/09 08:42 PM
Edited by Johncenawlife316 on Thu 04/09/09 08:44 PM

Queene123's photo
Thu 04/09/09 08:43 PM

I used to be in a 2 year relationship with a man that I thought I would spend the rest of my life with..........anyways because of recent changes in his life (moving to another state) to be with his kids we decided to have a ldr until I transfered there in a couple of months........He has been there for 3 months and his job situation hasnt been stable.............knowing this I talked to him and expressed my concern of how things were going to be after I moved there in about (3 months) and so I told him that maybe I should stay here and finish school here............anyways I didnt think what I said was so bad but he thought I broke his heart and that pretty much without saying that I had betrayed him................so he broke up with me and wished me well............well it hasnt been easy being without him..........I cant even phantom what to do about letting him go because he has been in my life for awhile...........but since we cant be together I have to move on..............


how does someone do that move on and was he right did I really betray him.............



you have to think of your self and your kids. as he maybe important in your life but he accused you of betraying him . (sounds more like he betrayed you)

Queene123's photo
Thu 04/09/09 08:45 PM

You say you have been in a relationship with this man for 2 years, yet you have been on this site for a year.......So yes you betrayed him.. Sounds like you were never fully committed to him anyway. Let him go to find someone who wants him completely.


how was she betraying him. just because she on this site doesnt mean anything as there are many on here that have bf or husbands. and there still on here just for friends.. im still on here just for friends and see what crazyness goes on in the forums.. she has not beytrayed him

Tanzkity's photo
Thu 04/09/09 08:49 PM

How long will it be until you finish school?


I have a 1 year and a half..............

Tanzkity's photo
Thu 04/09/09 08:50 PM

You say you have been in a relationship with this man for 2 years, yet you have been on this site for a year.......So yes you betrayed him.. Sounds like you were never fully committed to him anyway. Let him go to find someone who wants him completely.



BTW I have been here and other sites but I dont indulge in anything other than to have fun and he knew all the sites I was in...........he isnt a jealous person because we had trust.........this isnt a thread about me or him cheating its about ADULTS who have different things going on........

Tanzkity's photo
Thu 04/09/09 08:52 PM


I used to be in a 2 year relationship with a man that I thought I would spend the rest of my life with..........anyways because of recent changes in his life (moving to another state) to be with his kids we decided to have a ldr until I transfered there in a couple of months........He has been there for 3 months and his job situation hasnt been stable.............knowing this I talked to him and expressed my concern of how things were going to be after I moved there in about (3 months) and so I told him that maybe I should stay here and finish school here............anyways I didnt think what I said was so bad but he thought I broke his heart and that pretty much without saying that I had betrayed him................so he broke up with me and wished me well............well it hasnt been easy being without him..........I cant even phantom what to do about letting him go because he has been in my life for awhile...........but since we cant be together I have to move on..............


how does someone do that move on and was he right did I really betray him.............



you have to think of your self and your kids. as he maybe important in your life but he accused you of betraying him . (sounds more like he betrayed you)



You are so right........he told me he would wait for me for whatever long it took and then he broke his promise to me..........in the end it was suppose to be to better both of us........

Winx's photo
Thu 04/09/09 08:52 PM
Edited by Winx on Thu 04/09/09 08:59 PM


How long will it be until you finish school?


I have a 1 year and a half..............


That's really not so long. You're close to getting your degree. I do know how much this degree means to you.flowerforyou

Maybe talk to him about it. He knows you so then he should know how much your education means to you.

I teach my child that school comes first.




gerowulf's photo
Thu 04/09/09 08:58 PM
No my dear!You did not betray him.You where right by saying that you wanted to stay to end your studies,and that you are concern about his job.You can not move from one state to an another without knowing if you gonna have a steady place and life.As for me,i think that he has find his way back to his ex and that what you say to him,he used that as a lame exsuse to get rid if you and at the same time give you the feeling that you betray him.But actually you did the right thing.
To get over it, keep yourself buzzy so much as you can and study hard.Time will go faster than and it will be easier to forget him.
That is my opinion.

Tanzkity's photo
Thu 04/09/09 09:00 PM



How long will it be until you finish school?


I have a 1 year and a half..............


That's really not so long. You're close to getting your degree. I do know how much this degree means to you.flowerforyou

Maybe talk to him about it. He knows you so then he should know how much your education means to you.






He knows but if he cant see that I wont let him take me down.......its just hard to think that someone can change so much in such a short time and act like they never really knew you..............Thank you thoughflowerforyou flowerforyou

Winx's photo
Thu 04/09/09 09:01 PM




How long will it be until you finish school?


I have a 1 year and a half..............


That's really not so long. You're close to getting your degree. I do know how much this degree means to you.flowerforyou

Maybe talk to him about it. He knows you so then he should know how much your education means to you.

I teach my child that school comes first.






He knows but if he cant see that I wont let him take me down.......its just hard to think that someone can change so much in such a short time and act like they never really knew you..............Thank you thoughflowerforyou flowerforyou


Is the man with attention deficit problems?

sneekpeak42's photo
Thu 04/09/09 09:02 PM
One thing is for sure You never know what tomarrow will bring. Betray seems very strong for someone to say after everything you have been through. I dont know either of you but what I read it sounds like you are a very strong and stable person who whas standing up for what you feel is right. Is where you are now the best place for you? I think in your mind you believe this to be true. Therefore because you came back to where you felt most stable, to allow you to finish what you starteed. to me it sound very brave and you must be very secure in who you are.I think he truly knows what you are doing is right and only said that because he wanted you to feel guilty and stay. Why should 2 lives go down because 1 is having trouble. He made that choice when he left. Mabee he should have thought such a huge decision out more than he did. Or mabee he is regretting what he has lost. I know I would be. Never the less is it to late ? If so then you need to keep buisy in both your education and your personal life even if your personal part will only be temporary. In which case your pain wont hurt near as bad. oh yea if your looking for some assistance with the personal part feel free to look me up and Ill be their. lol any way good luck with your new life choices Im sure they will be the right ones. Robert, "the guy around the corner"

tngxl65's photo
Thu 04/09/09 09:09 PM
Edited by tngxl65 on Thu 04/09/09 09:18 PM
My gut says he was looking for an out and seized the first opportunity. If not I would have expected him to try to better understand what you were saying and your motivations.

As far as moving on..... it's never easy. You just point youself in a general direction and let time do its thing.

Tanzkity's photo
Thu 04/09/09 09:15 PM

One thing is for sure You never know what tomarrow will bring. Betray seems very strong for someone to say after everything you have been through. I dont know either of you but what I read it sounds like you are a very strong and stable person who whas standing up for what you feel is right. Is where you are now the best place for you? I think in your mind you believe this to be true. Therefore because you came back to where you felt most stable, to allow you to finish what you starteed. to me it sound very brave and you must be very secure in who you are.I think he truly knows what you are doing is right and only said that because he wanted you to feel guilty and stay. Why should 2 lives go down because 1 is having trouble. He made that choice when he left. Mabee he should have thought such a huge decision out more than he did. Or mabee he is regretting what he has lost. I know I would be. Never the less is it to late ? If so then you need to keep buisy in both your education and your personal life even if your personal part will only be temporary. In which case your pain wont hurt near as bad. oh yea if your looking for some assistance with the personal part feel free to look me up and Ill be their. lol any way good luck with your new life choices Im sure they will be the right ones. Robert, "the guy around the corner"



Thank you for your kind words and I am just trying to do what is right for me and my girls..........I just couldnt see our future if we both had to struggle when we didnt.........k Robert you asked for it..........lol.........I will take that offer when Im more healed but I will keep you in my thoughts.........take care