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Topic: Ok. So you have been in a relationship...
JustAGuy2112's photo
Mon 05/25/09 10:30 PM
...with someone for a while.

So as time goes on, you come to find out that the person you are with, being an adventurous sort, took photos of that person and their ex having sex.

This person swears he/she is over the ex.

What do you do??

Yes I know the boilerplate answer of " talk to them about it " will come up.

You tried that and got nowhere.


FearandLoathing's photo
Mon 05/25/09 10:32 PM
Iffy...depends highly on how much you trust this person, whether or not they have lied about ANYTHING in the past (as small as "no that isn't my pen" to even larger one's, no example needed I would think).

AngelFireDream's photo
Mon 05/25/09 10:32 PM
You left out this part, but did you find the photos? Is that what stirred all this up?

auburngirl's photo
Mon 05/25/09 10:32 PM
If you are in a serious relationship with this person, those photos need to go.

TexasScoundrel's photo
Mon 05/25/09 10:35 PM
I don't care about what she's done in the past. I only care about the way we feel today.

IndnPrncs's photo
Mon 05/25/09 10:36 PM
I don't get it Guy, are they holding on to the pics? What's the issue?

misstina2's photo
Mon 05/25/09 10:59 PM
are the pictures causing issues for you?

IndnPrncs's photo
Mon 05/25/09 11:08 PM
Well without knowing the specifics I can state my opinion on the basics...

1) What happened before you is just that before you...

2) If you're not living together and the pics are put away in her house in her space that you do not go into, then that's her stuff and no one else's business....

I have more but well no sense in posting if it has nothing to do with your concerns...

no photo
Mon 05/25/09 11:09 PM
Nothing wrong with keeping records of notches in the belt as long as she's into you now...

keep an eye on her though - lol

IndnPrncs's photo
Mon 05/25/09 11:10 PM
I'm doubting "notches" is the point... geez...

no photo
Mon 05/25/09 11:30 PM

I'm doubting "notches" is the point... geez...


Ok, enlighten me

IndnPrncs's photo
Mon 05/25/09 11:33 PM
Not sure that can be done in a post.. But I will give you the view from a woman's side and mind you we're all different but I would say something about the pics are special, whether it's the memories from the relationship, great sex or she looked hot and wants to keep a pic of it... Also, if she's not sure "this" is the one, why get rid of any kind of memories for a possibility?

no photo
Mon 05/25/09 11:39 PM

Not sure that can be done in a post.. But I will give you the view from a woman's side and mind you we're all different but I would say something about the pics are special, whether it's the memories from the relationship, great sex or she looked hot and wants to keep a pic of it... Also, if she's not sure "this" is the one, why get rid of any kind of memories for a possibility?


K, exactly what i was thinking, but guys call that notches in the belt - lol

IndnPrncs's photo
Mon 05/25/09 11:44 PM
by saying that you're taking away from everything else, what a woman thinks or feels.. A notch in my belt would be relishing things from my last conquest.. That says nothing about the relationship and what it meant beyond sex... That is not typically how a woman thinks or wants to be remembered...

no photo
Mon 05/25/09 11:48 PM
Men want to keep the pics so they can show their friends what a hot chick they had!!!!slaphead rofl

Thoughtfulthug's photo
Mon 05/25/09 11:55 PM
I have a shoebox of pictures that consist of past flames and other memories that I'd liken to document before I may forget about it. So it is not about bragging rights, or some kind of a way of savoring the past out of the fear that she was only the one beautiful girl I will ever have a chance to be with.

So I never make comparison of one girl to another, nor do I think that every chance I get a new girlfriend, it is a tradedown of the one I place to be the best of them all.

IndnPrncs's photo
Tue 05/26/09 12:08 AM
So what is it? Do you look at them to recall that "great position" you got in? Are you holding them for when you're not able to get into those positions again?

XxAchillesxX's photo
Tue 05/26/09 12:14 AM
Edited by XxAchillesxX on Tue 05/26/09 12:16 AM
...not a thing. My wife had a couple pics of her and her first husband, naked. But she kept them put away and even told me about them before we married. She didn't pull the pics out, just kept them as a form of sentiment for the guy. Never hurt our relationship....because I wouldn't let it. happy

JustAGuy2112's photo
Tue 05/26/09 12:26 AM

You left out this part, but did you find the photos? Is that what stirred all this up?


Ok. To make things clearer for everyone.

I am not currently involved with anyone. This is a situation I ran into in one of my past relationships. Just had the thought pop into my head tonight and decided to see what people thought about that kind of situation.

I happened to be walking through our ( we were living together at the time ) living room. She had her computer set up there. I was walking by her while she was on the computer, and happened to see her looking at those pics.

I asked what they were and she told me. I asked her why she was keeping them, and she got extremely defensive.

JustAGuy2112's photo
Tue 05/26/09 12:27 AM

If you are in a serious relationship with this person, those photos need to go.


I kinda thought about it like that too.

I, myself, wouldn't keep something like that once I was seriously involved with someone else.

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