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| Topic: Ethical Dilemma | |
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Edited by
Roco
on
Thu 02/11/10 03:45 PM
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Who did right/wrong, who is good/bad, ect...these value judgements are hardly quantifiable, if not impossible. Essentially, it is perception and how the perception affects the people it involves, in this case, you, your friend, and the girl. You mentioned,
"He has not spoken to me since" this suggests to a reasonable person that your request to get with her bothers him. What to do -- 1. go ahead and do what you want to do, Con - may lose friend at worst, may strain relationship at best. 2. Ditch the b**tc, Con - may preclude you from having the best sex of your life at worst, may prevent you from catching a disease at best. Roko Recommendation -- option 1. Losing an insecure friend is better than remaining friends with one. |
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So here is what happened. I made no move on it, he came back a couple days after and told me he was worried things would get awkward between us. I told him he'd already proven that it would make things difficult and told the girl that nothing was going to happen. She has since stopped talking to me and gone crawling back to my friend. He's humoring her for the moment, says he's going to call her on her BS. Now honestly if he ended up getting back together with her it would explain a lot more... but we've always been straight with each other and if he's lying now it would be the first time. The reason why I did not respond when hung over is it seems like a lot of you missed the point of the post. I was wondering what was so horribly bad about ASKING a buddy whether you could go for sloppy seconds. Not actually doing it... just ASKING. She was just a lay to him, I definitely wasn't seeing long term potential for myself either. This is EXACTLY why I made no move until he reopened communications and I chose to put my friendship first. I also, quite frankly, did not appreciate having my honor and loyalties questioned. I think that being able to ask your friend something you know they won't like, but still need to say, is a far better course of action than simply ignoring it and hoping it will go away. I have never been afraid to share my feelings with my friends. Whether they be positive or negative, they always serve to strengthen my relationships with them because they know exactly who I am, where I stand, and that I can be trusted. I would not, and did not, throw that away on a tramp. @XenomorphEyez thanks for the best comment of the bunch. That was good for a laugh :D |
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Hmmmm, I wonder if it's the same thing to ASK can you bang a friend's mom, as long as you don't actually DO it? What a conundrum....
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So here is what happened. I made no move on it, he came back a couple days after and told me he was worried things would get awkward between us. I told him he'd already proven that it would make things difficult and told the girl that nothing was going to happen. She has since stopped talking to me and gone crawling back to my friend. He's humoring her for the moment, says he's going to call her on her BS. Now honestly if he ended up getting back together with her it would explain a lot more... but we've always been straight with each other and if he's lying now it would be the first time. The reason why I did not respond when hung over is it seems like a lot of you missed the point of the post. I was wondering what was so horribly bad about ASKING a buddy whether you could go for sloppy seconds. Not actually doing it... just ASKING. She was just a lay to him, I definitely wasn't seeing long term potential for myself either. This is EXACTLY why I made no move until he reopened communications and I chose to put my friendship first. I also, quite frankly, did not appreciate having my honor and loyalties questioned. I think that being able to ask your friend something you know they won't like, but still need to say, is a far better course of action than simply ignoring it and hoping it will go away. I have never been afraid to share my feelings with my friends. Whether they be positive or negative, they always serve to strengthen my relationships with them because they know exactly who I am, where I stand, and that I can be trusted. I would not, and did not, throw that away on a tramp. @XenomorphEyez thanks for the best comment of the bunch. That was good for a laugh :D kudos to your honesty,,,thats good amongst friends, I hope it works out for both of ya |
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Hmmmm, I wonder if it's the same thing to ASK can you bang a friend's mom, as long as you don't actually DO it? What a conundrum....  I was thinking something along those lines. |
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WHAT??? You even have to ask about this???  [/quo I agree!!! |
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if he's stopped talking to you because of it, you might as well go for it, what else have you got to loose?
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And u call yourself a good friend!! I don't care how long it was that he was going with her.U rather have sex with her then be a true friend? One never & I mean never goes with a friends exes .
  I guess u can ask him for your forgiveness and promise him that it will never happen again. |
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So here is what happened. I made no move on it, he came back a couple days after and told me he was worried things would get awkward between us. I told him he'd already proven that it would make things difficult and told the girl that nothing was going to happen. She has since stopped talking to me and gone crawling back to my friend. He's humoring her for the moment, says he's going to call her on her BS. Now honestly if he ended up getting back together with her it would explain a lot more... but we've always been straight with each other and if he's lying now it would be the first time. The reason why I did not respond when hung over is it seems like a lot of you missed the point of the post. I was wondering what was so horribly bad about ASKING a buddy whether you could go for sloppy seconds. Not actually doing it... just ASKING. She was just a lay to him, I definitely wasn't seeing long term potential for myself either. This is EXACTLY why I made no move until he reopened communications and I chose to put my friendship first. I also, quite frankly, did not appreciate having my honor and loyalties questioned. I think that being able to ask your friend something you know they won't like, but still need to say, is a far better course of action than simply ignoring it and hoping it will go away. I have never been afraid to share my feelings with my friends. Whether they be positive or negative, they always serve to strengthen my relationships with them because they know exactly who I am, where I stand, and that I can be trusted. I would not, and did not, throw that away on a tramp. @XenomorphEyez thanks for the best comment of the bunch. That was good for a laugh :D One thinks I did nothing wrong and should go for it. One thinks I did EVERYTHING wrong and try to make amends. One thinks I should have screwed her and told him nothing, both of us moving past her like it hadn't happened. And I've gotten still other variations. Well...if what was intended here was not seen, I wonder how the question of 'can I screw your ex-girlfriend?' came off... Asking some things is good...but this question is kind of like asking 'Hey! Do you mind if I jab you repeatedly in the chest with this dagger?' |
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WHAT??? You even have to ask about this??? [/quo I agree!!! Double Quoted for Truth. But since you did ask, she's skanky and not worth the non-effort it would take to get in her pants. Stay away from it. Tell your friend you're going to leave it alone. Then let the chips fall where they may. If he doesn't want to be your friend anymore, thats cool too. |
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So here is what happened. I made no move on it, he came back a couple days after and told me he was worried things would get awkward between us. I told him he'd already proven that it would make things difficult and told the girl that nothing was going to happen. She has since stopped talking to me and gone crawling back to my friend. He's humoring her for the moment, says he's going to call her on her BS. Now honestly if he ended up getting back together with her it would explain a lot more... but we've always been straight with each other and if he's lying now it would be the first time. The reason why I did not respond when hung over is it seems like a lot of you missed the point of the post. I was wondering what was so horribly bad about ASKING a buddy whether you could go for sloppy seconds. Not actually doing it... just ASKING. She was just a lay to him, I definitely wasn't seeing long term potential for myself either. This is EXACTLY why I made no move until he reopened communications and I chose to put my friendship first. I also, quite frankly, did not appreciate having my honor and loyalties questioned. I think that being able to ask your friend something you know they won't like, but still need to say, is a far better course of action than simply ignoring it and hoping it will go away. I have never been afraid to share my feelings with my friends. Whether they be positive or negative, they always serve to strengthen my relationships with them because they know exactly who I am, where I stand, and that I can be trusted. I would not, and did not, throw that away on a tramp. @XenomorphEyez thanks for the best comment of the bunch. That was good for a laugh :D One thinks I did nothing wrong and should go for it. One thinks I did EVERYTHING wrong and try to make amends. One thinks I should have screwed her and told him nothing, both of us moving past her like it hadn't happened. And I've gotten still other variations. Well...if what was intended here was not seen, I wonder how the question of 'can I screw your ex-girlfriend?' came off... Asking some things is good...but this question is kind of like asking 'Hey! Do you mind if I jab you repeatedly in the chest with this dagger?' 
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She's a lot lizard...
 Kick her to the curb! |
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Lot lizard...that's one I've never heard before, I like it....
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Lot lizard...that's one I've never heard before, I like it.... I dated a truck driver years ago. That's what they called the women that approached their trucks at rest and truck stops 
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