I heard a theory a couple times over the years that we were
here mainly to help each other. One of the age-old questions
is "why are we here?", I never really thought about it until
recently that maybe we aren't just "here", maybe there is
not just the "bigger" reason of our existence that we will
never understand, maybe we are supposed to help each other.
Help struggle, guide and support, heal, cry and laugh together,
and most of all...to grow and learn. To find your own level of
courage and strength, use it to help not just yourself and your
own, but apply it wherever you can, to try to make a difference,
no matter how small, because even if it's an insignificant word
or action to you, it may mean the world to someone else, it
could even wind up becoming another's salvation. We are all
born basically good, and so many lose sight of the things that
are of the most importance, we become trained to look for and/or
breed "perfection". Why? What happened to caring, tolerance,
and acceptance? What happened to working for and building what
was important to you, to making it beautiful and perfect in it's
own way, and taking to heart the good in people and things, not taking
advantage and trying to "change" them in ways that in
the end...really don't matter. So much negativity and "want",
so little just "breathing". Everything and everyone has the
possibility for beauty, if we just take the time, with an open
mind, to look.

Indigo, you know thats not just a theory, but truth. With my dark night of the soul tonight, in no matter what light it chose to show it self, yours responded with a truth that is universal. Asking and receiving healing is no light matter that comes from simple words passing. Thank you for these words.

Breasts are not important. The person is important.
Relationships are important. Love and respect are
important. Self-estime is important. Accomplishement,
skill, quality, creativity, excitement and happiness
are important. Not being a superficial, self-absorbed,
arse of cosmetic proportions is important...

In the long list of things which are important...breasts
are pretty far down there next to hair color and
shoe size.

Yes, I would. That would make absolutely no difference to me. If I like her, I like her, not her bra size (or lack thereof).

But then, I'm probably not the best one to ask, as I've never been a boob guy.

In the larger sense, though, I think it's necessary to see a person for who they are, not as a list of their "flaws" or "lacks." We all have imperfections and I think we would all like people to see past that.

It takes an open mind & caring about people, rather than images.
I have learned to never judge, anything by it's appearance.
Breasts only show if a "lady' wants to show them.
I know many ladies that never really show their breasts, not even in a bathing suit....SO WHAT...their choice.

Shasta, your a lady & should do as you like.

To blazes with what others think.

Shasta from day one U have been honest with me and thats why I love U so much as a friend!! U are sooooooooooo beautiful, if a man is so hung up on that he doesnt recognize U as the beautiful lady that U are, its his HUGE loss!!! U are as dear as they come!! Mike!!

^ ^ ^ Holy crap. You really ARE quite the little schitt, aren't you ... ? ^ ^ ^

That comment says way more about you than about the question posed to you ...

Shasta, I've thought about your question, and it still comes down to this as an answer: I don't know. I'd like to believe I'm open-minded enough that it wouldn't matter, but I can't say it would or wouldn't because I've never been faced with that reality. I believe, tho', that the answer will be (if I'm one day made aware of this about someone I'm dating) 'yes'. It's not the 'pieces 'n parts' (or lack of) that makes a person a person - it's what's inside the 'skin suit'. It would be easy to slough this off and reply about what I would do if I was already married to 'em or in a relationship and THEN it happened, but that wasn't your question. So the answer - for me, at least - has to be that I hope I would be able to carry out my theoretical reply above, but until I'm actually in the situation, I can't really tell you with certainty. I just don't know.

There is a story, maybe apocryphal by now.

A child is raised in an institution because he was born
with so many things wrong that he could not speak and
could barely move small parts of his body.

He lived in a wheelchair and had no communication with
others, into his teens.
He was thought to have little or no intelligence.

One day a lady was visiting another patient in the
institution to whom she was teaching the computer.
Also handicapped, he was using a pencil in his mouth to hit the keys.
The lady noticed the other boy watching from across the room.
She saw..something in his eyes.

When she finished with her pupil, she went to the
other boy and wheeled him over to the computer. She
arranged him in front of it and put a pencil in his mouth.
He began to type.
This is what he wrote:

"I will let you be who you think you are
if you will let me be who I am."

A hero to me.
Same as you Shasta.
The ability to bare your soul is..heroic.
You deserve people around you who see you.
Just the way you are.
An imperfect, perfect human.

Shasta, thank you for sharing your pain. This post struck me deeply. I keenly remember the feeling when being told of the lump in my left breast. This exact scenario plays out in your mind, and I wondered how I would handle it. My aunt lost hers in her 20's. All 6 of her sisters, including my mother, have had multiple lumps removed. Both of my grams died of breast cancer. I've had mammograms since 35, so although I can't begin to understand what you're going through, I can completely empathize with your situation.

All I can say is that I decided I would do what I had to do to live, no matter what, no matter my age. Fortunately my situation turned out to be just a scare, this time. But those six months of not knowing had me contemplating the what ifs...

I came to this conclusion. A real man will love you for what is within your chest, not the size of the masses or scars that adorn the outside of it.

And being a pretty loyal lurker around this place, you outrank many in the good heart department. Stay strong. There ARE men out there who will love you for who you are.

Shasta, you rock!

I know if I had to deal with breast cancer, and had to remove my breasts, I wouldn't be dealing with implants. I know mom feels the same way.

When I was 15 or so, my grandmother offered to pay for breast enlargements, because I wasn't big, and never got big. Unlike my grandmother who has cow udders. That thought hurt a bit, but mom and I both thought she was nuts.

If a guy has issues with it, he can take a hike.

I am very honest and to be very real with YOU here, YES!

I would date a lady w/o those,,because truly THEY have never ment much to my desires of them,,,it has always been on their personalty
and their abilities to also over-look indifferences in others around us,,,I was asked THIS VERY QUESTION by someone else here and told her this same,,,as to be really truthful with her..
To go even deeper into THIS,,,ok,,,we guys like intimacy and SEX,
BOTH of those are still there,,,so the upper section is ONLY SEEN
if YOUR LOOKING FOR THEM,,,knowing their gone,,,,,it would just be
the man's ability to always have the awareness,,yet also always to not let feel THERE MISSING,,,and truly,,no-one knows how THEY would be at THAT,,until THERE,,,so THATS real,,and my truth.
I THINK,,I could do that...and like someone with only one hand,,
you can LOVE them,,and still be human, and forget that at some time or moment,,,,,then you just handle that and recover your embarrassment,,,

I really appreciate everyone baring their souls here, as painful as it was for some of you. We are all in this mess called life together, and I know this is just one of the tests that have been given. It only has increased my awareness and sensitivity to others. Many have said here that i am brave, but honestly, if it were you...you'd be surprised at how strong your human spirit is.
We got some sports and training bras donated today and I picked one up and holding it against me jokingly said 'i wonder if I can train my body to grow boobs again'. The old guy who does our deliveries laughed his *** off, while the younger volenteer just looked embarrassed. You have to take God's teasing in a good natured way and be able to laugh at yourself sometimes to make others comfortable.
It's the guys that won't (and wouldn't want them anyway) treat me as a human woman, as if I were less- HA! because of such that wanted to know why and none could be honest enough except one, and I appreciate that alot. Thank you, you other men also for your voices. And of course the women!!!!! My younger sister died from Lukemia and my older sister had BC before I, but only a lumpectomy. Life can throw some curve balls, but it's all good

Shasta,,your very PRETTY and outgoing, with a SUPER personality,,,AND,,I LOVE YOU!!!,,as the friend to me you have been since we first met... YOU make your life and YOU..
ANY MAN would be BLESEED to have you in his life...


so there,,,you know I can't stay serious very long,,


I would never date a woman who was missing her mind,,,,,, I've MET some already,,

you just crack me up T, now that I understand your secret language

If the only thing that's important to a guy about a woman is whether or not that woman has boobs, that makes him a superficial prick. You're better off without those kind of people in your life.

Of course for many guys it will matter but when you find the one who does not focus on your chest and more on your heart and your brain then he will make you happy. Yes, absolutely it is the personality that matters because I don't care if a woman is a 10 if she is a b**** I could not stand being with her.

Yes, we know that....it's sad for them but the thought is that they will wake up sooner than later.

I guess my answer would be that it depends on the woman. A woman with a truly beautiful mind and personality has more than enough endowments for me and I'd be drawn to that.

I'm a bit on the short side and have a baby face. There are a LOT of women who wouldn't give me the time of day and some who have little tact in saying so. I'm just background noise to them. They obviously don't have such beautiful personalities, so it wouldn't matter to me if they had Playboy dimensions. I know they'd only be with me long enough for me to fix their computer, and then I'd be roadkill.

But to each their own. And we each have our own gifts to use or misuse, because at the end of the day, it all comes down to our conduct, not our luck of the draw or lack thereof.

If you really want instructive answers, ask the women if they'd date a guy who had gynecomastia. Over the course of several years of being on here, I've seen several threads started by women making fun of this condition.

One of the tenets of Zen Buddhism is to not misuse one's sexuality. I believe there's a lot of wisdom in that.

-Kerry O.