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| Topic: Wisdom from poeple who've been married before ? | |
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For those 0f you who've already been to the alter already
and back again, what words of wisdom can you offer about married life? As a person who has never been, married, i sometimes view marriage and experiences of marriage life as something that's Wholly out of my grasp to comprehend .Just like a person who has never been in love cannot imagine What its like ,i can't imagine what it's like to be married So tell me -and tell the rest of us never-been-married what its like to be married? How is married relationship different than single life? What mistakes did you make the first time around that you can use as a Life Lesson now that your single ? |
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(1) Spend the time, make the effort
BEFORE locking into marriage to get to know them, not hope for the best afterwards. (2) Be prepared to give 100%, not 50%. They will be thinking the same. (3) Be kinder to your marriage partner than anyone else you know. (4) Back them up to the hilt. (5) Think every day, of ways to make them happy. Follow through. (6) NEVER use the words "Your problem is.." (7) Be faithful, and giving and unselfish. (8) Maintain your identity. (9) Listen. You don't have to have the answers. (10) Kisses work wonders :-) |
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I always heard it ****ing sucked. I'm going to stick to that since as far as I can tell it pretty much ****ing sucks from an observation point of view.
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For those 0f you who've already been to the alter already and back again, what words of wisdom can you offer about married life? As a person who has never been, married, i sometimes view marriage and experiences of marriage life as something that's Wholly out of my grasp to comprehend .Just like a person who has never been in love cannot imagine What its like ,i can't imagine what it's like to be married So tell me -and tell the rest of us never-been-married what its like to be married? How is married relationship different than single life? What mistakes did you make the first time around that you can use as a Life Lesson now that your single ? The best advice I can give is "Don't take anyone else's advice". |
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I've been married once, and my advice would be "Don't do it."
I certainly have no intention of ever doing it again. The first 6 months or so were all right. Everything after that was a disaster. In retrospect, getting married was the single biggest mistake of my life. And I've made a lot of mistakes. |
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For those 0f you who've already been to the alter already and back again, what words of wisdom can you offer about married life? As a person who has never been, married, i sometimes view marriage and experiences of marriage life as something that's Wholly out of my grasp to comprehend .Just like a person who has never been in love cannot imagine What its like ,i can't imagine what it's like to be married So tell me -and tell the rest of us never-been-married what its like to be married? How is married relationship different than single life? What mistakes did you make the first time around that you can use as a Life Lesson now that your single ? The best advice I can give is "Don't take anyone else's advice". now..that IS sound advice... |
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(1) Spend the time, make the effort BEFORE locking into marriage to get to know them, not hope for the best afterwards. (2) Be prepared to give 100%, not 50%. They will be thinking the same. (3) Be kinder to your marriage partner than anyone else you know. (4) Back them up to the hilt. (5) Think every day, of ways to make them happy. Follow through. (6) NEVER use the words "Your problem is.." (7) Be faithful, and giving and unselfish. (8) Maintain your identity. (9) Listen. You don't have to have the answers. (10) Kisses work wonders :-) 
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(1) Spend the time, make the effort BEFORE locking into marriage to get to know them, not hope for the best afterwards. (2) Be prepared to give 100%, not 50%. They will be thinking the same. (3) Be kinder to your marriage partner than anyone else you know. (4) Back them up to the hilt. (5) Think every day, of ways to make them happy. Follow through. (6) NEVER use the words "Your problem is.." (7) Be faithful, and giving and unselfish. (8) Maintain your identity. (9) Listen. You don't have to have the answers. (10) Kisses work wonders :-) |
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" (1) Spend the time, make the effort
BEFORE locking into marriage to get to know them, not hope for the best afterwards. (2) Be prepared to give 100%, not 50%. They will be thinking the same. (3) Be kinder to your marriage partner than anyone else you know. (4) Back them up to the hilt. (5) Think every day, of ways to make them happy. Follow through. (6) NEVER use the words "Your problem is.." (7) Be faithful, and giving and unselfish. (8) Maintain your identity. (9) Listen. You don't have to have the answers. (10) Kisses work wonders :-) " Maybe now we know why guys find it so hard to get this right. (Is there a "quote" button somewhere)? |
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Edited by
Torgo70
on
Thu 02/03/11 12:15 PM
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(10) Kisses work wonders :-) What if they don't like chocolate? |
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1st rule about marriage don't get married lol
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1st rule about marriage don't get married lol |
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Too many people get into marriage thinking love just flows. Love is like a garden and it really does need tending to and it requires work. Forget your expectations because no one can ever know what you are thinking or be all you think they should be. Plan on doing things you are not thrilled about doing, and when you do them do it from love without going on and on how you hate this or that. It takes give and take, compromise, and even forgiveness. Acceptance of differences is crucial. Plan on building each other up and working at it if you want it to last. Make sure you 'know' the person. Too many people fall in love with the idea of love and not the person they marry.
Marriage requires teamwork, and too many people forget this too. |
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(1) Spend the time, make the effort BEFORE locking into marriage to get to know them, not hope for the best afterwards. (2) Be prepared to give 100%, not 50%. They will be thinking the same. (3) Be kinder to your marriage partner than anyone else you know. (4) Back them up to the hilt. (5) Think every day, of ways to make them happy. Follow through. (6) NEVER use the words "Your problem is.." (7) Be faithful, and giving and unselfish. (8) Maintain your identity. (9) Listen. You don't have to have the answers. (10) Kisses work wonders :-) Great advice. |
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1st rule about marriage don't get married lol I don't know I learned a lot from my marriage but it's hard to give advice when half of it was apparently a lie I don't think getting advice from divorced people on marriage is necessarily a good idea. Everything in a relationship is easier said than done. |
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For those 0f you who've already been to the alter already and back again, what words of wisdom can you offer about married life? As a person who has never been, married, i sometimes view marriage and experiences of marriage life as something that's Wholly out of my grasp to comprehend .Just like a person who has never been in love cannot imagine What its like ,i can't imagine what it's like to be married So tell me -and tell the rest of us never-been-married what its like to be married? How is married relationship different than single life? What mistakes did you make the first time around that you can use as a Life Lesson now that your single ? I was married for 17 years, most of them successful, but we both made mistakes. I like what soulfie said. I would add that be more than 100% sure that you really want to wake up every morning with that person. There will be times you can't give 100%, there will be times your partner can't. Be ready for those. make sure you are prepared to be more understanding than you have ever had to been. If you find the right person, it is a wonderful way to live because the level of intimacy that you can achieve is impossible to explain or understand unless you've been successfully married for quite awhile, be devoted, and be sure you are able to make the marriage relationship (and bed) your #1 priority all or most of the time. If you don't feel u can do that with the person u are with, then I would postpone marriage with that individual -jmho, from the field, so to speak |
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Get someone who is your friend. Someone who can accept you at your worse. Make sure that they are your friend and not already spoken for. Marriage is a partnership. Make sure you have exclusive rights to that partnership. If you can be voted out of that partnership then it is not a real partnership. If they have a silent partner then do a background check. That way you can find out if there will be potential problems in the future. You want to be sure that they are married to you. That way you can find if the silent partner can veto you or not. Being married to more than one person can cause problems in communications and you might not be privy to all that is communicated in your communications with that person that you are married to. Find out if they have friends. Find out if their friends have friends. Do a background check on all of them, too. Do a communications check. Tell them something and see how long it takes to get back to you through people you don't even know. Find out if they have relatives because if you get married to them their relatives may think you are related to them, too. Make sure all your rights are reserved. Keep a diary or journal of all the time before you got married. It might give you something to smile about before you get committed to marriage. Then go ahead and get married. May God have mercy on your soul.
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Get someone who is your friend. Someone who can accept you at your worse. Make sure that they are your friend and not already spoken for. Marriage is a partnership. Make sure you have exclusive rights to that partnership. If you can be voted out of that partnership then it is not a real partnership. If they have a silent partner then do a background check. That way you can find out if there will be potential problems in the future. You want to be sure that they are married to you. That way you can find if the silent partner can veto you or not. Being married to more than one person can cause problems in communications and you might not be privy to all that is communicated in your communications with that person that you are married to. Find out if they have friends. Find out if their friends have friends. Do a background check on all of them, too. Do a communications check. Tell them something and see how long it takes to get back to you through people you don't even know. Find out if they have relatives because if you get married to them their relatives may think you are related to them, too. Make sure all your rights are reserved. Keep a diary or journal of all the time before you got married. It might give you something to smile about before you get committed to marriage. Then go ahead and get married. May God have mercy on your soul. good point RT - friends yes. Your spouse is your best friend! People will try to mess that up for u too - usually out of jealousy - don't let them get away with it |
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For those 0f you who've already been to the alter already and back again, what words of wisdom can you offer about married life? Marriage is a great institution if you like institutions......... 
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" (1) Spend the time, make the effort BEFORE locking into marriage to get to know them, not hope for the best afterwards. (2) Be prepared to give 100%, not 50%. They will be thinking the same. (3) Be kinder to your marriage partner than anyone else you know. (4) Back them up to the hilt. (5) Think every day, of ways to make them happy. Follow through. (6) NEVER use the words "Your problem is.." (7) Be faithful, and giving and unselfish. (8) Maintain your identity. (9) Listen. You don't have to have the answers. (10) Kisses work wonders :-) " Maybe now we know why guys find it so hard to get this right. (Is there a "quote" button somewhere)? |
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