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Topic: Confused and hurting..
Ducky1212's photo
Mon 02/07/11 05:44 PM
Ok so there is this guy that I have been attracted to since the moment I laid my eyes on him...The problem is that we met at the wrong time...I was just getting out of my last relationship, dealing with health problems with father and grandmother, and finishing up a semester in school. It finally became too much that I told him I wasn't ready for a relationship because I would go to hang out with him, and I wouldn't be very sociable. He told me not to worry about it, and he gave me signals like he would wait for me. I didn't talk to him for over a month, but I thought about him everyday..Finally things in my life were starting to calm down, so I tried to get back together with him to find out that he had a girlfriend. Well I have just found out the he is single again. I talked to my bff which is also friends with him, and she said she thinks that he needs to be single for a while. But I just can't get him outta my head still...When we were together, I could tell something was there, and it's hurting me not knowing if it could have ever been something....what should I do? I don't want to seem desperate or pathetic, and I don't want to embarrass myself and throw myself at him again...HELP

no photo
Mon 02/07/11 05:48 PM
do what you did before. hang out and talk, be friends. you never know unless you try

motowndowntown's photo
Mon 02/07/11 05:48 PM
If you weren't very sociable when you did hang out with him, why are you feeling so upset now?

vthepoet's photo
Mon 02/07/11 05:49 PM
whys she think he should be single for a while, maybe she wants to be with em instead, you should talk to em ducky, see how he feels bout it all.

bull dogs got it right.

delilady's photo
Mon 02/07/11 05:52 PM
Call him and tell him that you were thinking of him and wanted to catch up. See how he responds and take it from there

Ducky1212's photo
Mon 02/07/11 05:53 PM

If you weren't very sociable when you did hang out with him, why are you feeling so upset now?


I was depressed and had a lot on my mind because of the family issues I was dealing with at the time

no photo
Mon 02/07/11 05:55 PM
Edited by artlo on Mon 02/07/11 05:57 PM
Call him and tell him that you were thinking of him and wanted to catch up. See how he responds and take it from there

What she said.

P.S. He may have some confusions for a while, but it would be a good thing to at least be in his life while he works it out. Don't be too discouraged if there are some backslides.

Ducky1212's photo
Mon 02/07/11 05:56 PM

whys she think he should be single for a while, maybe she wants to be with em instead, you should talk to em ducky, see how he feels bout it all.

bull dogs got it right.


She doesn't want to be with him, she is very happy with her new family

and thanks guys! I'll have to try that soon

motowndowntown's photo
Mon 02/07/11 05:56 PM


If you weren't very sociable when you did hang out with him, why are you feeling so upset now?


I was depressed and had a lot on my mind because of the family issues I was dealing with at the time


Well then call him and explain that to him and see where it goes.

actionlynx's photo
Mon 02/07/11 05:57 PM
ditto

Don't listen to what a friend says....do what you think is right.

Like Ese is saying, just be his friend, support him, see if he is still interested in you while giving him a bit of space.

On a side note, it sounds to me as if he wasn't with this other girl very long, so if he does need time it is likely that he got burned. Who better to step in than an old friend? He might just realize what he gave up only to find heartache instead. Hmmm?

no photo
Mon 02/07/11 06:10 PM
Your a modern woman my dear and to ask him in a call,,,how ya been,,,is not seen as throwing,,,calling him and saying you want him to come over NOW AND TAKE YOU DOWN,,,,Thats throwing,,( by the way I DO respond to BOTH of them),,but just a call,,and see how he is,,and IF HE LEADS into asking you out,,,if not,,,then I wouldn't come-out and ask him,,,as by his NOT leading that away(in a long conversation)would probably mean he's not interested in you that way,,,right now,,,as he may still be hung up on his ex a bit,,or like yourself when the two of you first met,,he might have a really full plate? But now a days to call is just to say HEY,,hello..
Good luck and I hope yopu find your ,,,,,something there,,,in him
so you KNOW,,,what that was,,,other-wise,,your always glance back in time,,,wink

Ducky1212's photo
Mon 02/07/11 06:23 PM
this is all very good advice! another question is should i wait a while cause the way i found out he was single was threw facebook today, i don't want to seem like i was waiting for his relationship to fail (which secretly i was)

actionlynx's photo
Mon 02/07/11 06:28 PM
Ask him if it is true, and offer consolation....No need to pounce right away as long as you show him you care about his well-being.

Don't move too quick. Just be supportive. He might just ask you out as someone previously mentioned.

no photo
Mon 02/07/11 06:30 PM

this is all very good advice! another question is should i wait a while cause the way i found out he was single was threw facebook today, i don't want to seem like i was waiting for his relationship to fail (which secretly i was)
IF,,you two are friends on FB,,,and HE POSTED his break-up?
Then just come in on it giving your sorry to hear this and IF you need someone to talk to,,I'm here?,,That would ALLOW you to be his friend,,and still just sit back and see IF he lets you know anything??

krupa's photo
Mon 02/07/11 06:37 PM
Ignore everything you just read...

You want the guy to seriously consider you?

Blowjob.

(since I am not gonna be the one getting it..you should really consider what I am saying)

Ducky1212's photo
Mon 02/07/11 06:39 PM
facebook must be messin up cause i can't find the convo of his relationship status anymore i wish facebook was reliable like minglegrumble

Shayna1978's photo
Mon 02/07/11 06:42 PM
Don't live in regret.

YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE REBOUND GIRL!

Contact him, hang out and find how hurt he is. Then don't talk about the problem, he has to wrestle with it himself and you don't wanna be SHOULDER TO CRY ON CHICK either.

Do friend activities to take his mind off his relationship. Eventually he will come around without be needy.

Have patience.

Totage's photo
Mon 02/07/11 06:43 PM

Ok so there is this guy that I have been attracted to since the moment I laid my eyes on him...The problem is that we met at the wrong time...I was just getting out of my last relationship, dealing with health problems with father and grandmother, and finishing up a semester in school. It finally became too much that I told him I wasn't ready for a relationship because I would go to hang out with him, and I wouldn't be very sociable. He told me not to worry about it, and he gave me signals like he would wait for me. I didn't talk to him for over a month, but I thought about him everyday..Finally things in my life were starting to calm down, so I tried to get back together with him to find out that he had a girlfriend. Well I have just found out the he is single again. I talked to my bff which is also friends with him, and she said she thinks that he needs to be single for a while. But I just can't get him outta my head still...When we were together, I could tell something was there, and it's hurting me not knowing if it could have ever been something....what should I do? I don't want to seem desperate or pathetic, and I don't want to embarrass myself and throw myself at him again...HELP


Talk to him.

no photo
Mon 02/07/11 06:45 PM
Go with u r heart says,n chill have a nice time with flowerforyou,

no photo
Mon 02/07/11 06:50 PM

Ok so there is this guy that I have been attracted to since the moment I laid my eyes on him...The problem is that we met at the wrong time...I was just getting out of my last relationship, dealing with health problems with father and grandmother, and finishing up a semester in school. It finally became too much that I told him I wasn't ready for a relationship because I would go to hang out with him, and I wouldn't be very sociable. He told me not to worry about it, and he gave me signals like he would wait for me. I didn't talk to him for over a month, but I thought about him everyday..Finally things in my life were starting to calm down, so I tried to get back together with him to find out that he had a girlfriend. Well I have just found out the he is single again. I talked to my bff which is also friends with him, and she said she thinks that he needs to be single for a while. But I just can't get him outta my head still...When we were together, I could tell something was there, and it's hurting me not knowing if it could have ever been something....what should I do? I don't want to seem desperate or pathetic, and I don't want to embarrass myself and throw myself at him again...HELP


On the one hand - if he knows your # and knows where u live...he'll get in touch - if a man is really interested he will find a way to get in touch....on the other hand, if you think he might not realize that you are available now & still interested - It might not hurt to give him a quick call or an email to let him know that if he wants to talk - you're there for him - you've both been thru some upheavals lately it sounds like. might be better to start off as just as friends for now anyway - take a breather from relationship drama for awhile....together

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