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Topic: Online dating is hard
no photo
Tue 09/13/11 04:41 AM

It's not working out too well with me as well. Online dating sites, I don't use the proper words in the proper places (so I was told). Though I try my darnedest to spell correctly. I don't take the right pictures of myself. I cannot take photos of myself - period! When I do, they will be goofy photos.

In person I seem to have issues with the so called "swagger". My vocabulary stinks so I was told. Most likely I don't use the "F" word enough. Most people I have been around use the "F" word at least 3 times per sentence.

I was told my clothing choice is another problem, I don't dress right. I typically wear heavier shirts with jeans and boots. I've been told to wear clothes that are more in line with the latest style trends. I don't follow trends or latest fashion styles. I am me and will follow my own tastes. I don't wear dressier clothes as most seem to think my taste in the dressy attire is all wrong. I prefer dressier clothes to be more relaxed fit. I kinda like fabrics like silk and especially rayon.

The vehicles I drive are another problem. I've been told that I must get something larger in size that speaks volumes to "money" and "wealth". I'm a conservative, I drive an old rusty, but very good running front wheel drive car mostly for the winter months. I paid $250 for it 2.5 years ago. If something happens to it - big deal! Isn't no total lost to me. I also have a compact (rear wheel drive) pickup I financed at $7,200. It's very near pay-off. It's a stick shift (highly partial to manual transmissions) with a standard cab. It's all the truck I'll ever need to haul the stuff I need hauled. It gets great gas mileage too for a pickup, typically gets 28 mpg.


You come off as being pretty negative. Your profile is all about what you don't do. And when you do talk about something you enjoy, such as the outdoors, you still complain about things like pests. Try being more positive, rather than complaining.

no photo
Tue 09/13/11 04:43 AM

I don't know what to think of this yet.
I can tell by some peoples profiles they have no business dating anyone, and should probably seek help.
What is up with girls taking the half naked pics? Trying to attract the wrong kind of attention? Or Maybe thats their thing.
Do people ever write each other back and forth? Nobody has responded to me sense I have been on here. I will be patient. I hope I'm not wasting my time.
I know I'm not what most woman want, and thank God for that! I know a woman who wants the right things will recognize what is here and take my heart someday.
Until then I would consider any useful tips.. I do plan to add more pictures, when I can get some one to snap a couple.
I haven't found a good way to take a picture of myself. You always get that armpit shot, or you have to stand funny trying to hold that camera way out, and you can't see what you look like, so there is always some odd facial expression. Or the picture into the mirror idea. Flash. Nice ball of light with arms, or the no flash is better but still seems to make a bad picture.
I sure home I'm not the only one who has tried this stuff, I'd feel kind goofy. That is a normal feeling for me though.
Also I don't have a clue what to write in the about me section. I don't really talk about myself much. Is is better to say nothing, a little, or a bunch? What if you say something stupid, or something that is misunderstood?
I've been alone so long I don't even know what is what these days...
Thanks for the help!


You're also being a bit negative here. It's not great for a first impression.

For your about me section, look at other profiles and see what people write to get an idea of what you might put in there about yourself. Otherwise, just write about what what you enjoy and what you're looking for.

Simon1978UK's photo
Wed 09/14/11 01:51 AM

I think Mingle2 is a great place to meet
people for dating.

When you are exposed to more potential dates,
you will have more no-goes.
It's the odds.

I met a few horrid guys for lunch, I didn't
want to, as I did not know them well enough
to like them any. But they insisted, and it
went as I thought. So I stopped doing that.

Went for knowing someone better on the forums.
Worked just fine :-)

So I feel good recommending you involve
yourself in the forums, meet potentials,
sift, weed, and settle on the ones who
make you feel good.

Because, even if there is no chemistry,
you may make a genuine friend.


Very good advice. Don't rush into things. Also, try your best to not get too involved, especially in someone you've not met. Go from chatting, maybe webcam, get to know them some more, then meetup as FRIENDS 1st and see how it goes from there. If you wear your heart on your sleeve, then you'll only disappoint yourself.

LadyOfMagic's photo
Wed 09/14/11 04:19 PM

Reason I say this is because I have met some women and its been a total disaster. One totally did not look like the pic she posted and the other ended up being pretty psycho. Other than bars whats a good place to meet single women?

Online dating is "hard"?..Is THAT what you said?..Try impossible..lol..There are guys that look like something that Stephen King would be frightened of..but they want the woman to look like Beyonce Knowles!

krupa's photo
Thu 09/15/11 03:59 PM
Now THIS is a good thread to read!

Alot of actual people just laying it out. I really liked Dre's perspective.

It ain't easy but, only fantasies come easy. Reality takes real work. The reality of on-line dating is that "It ain't easy".

It will take effort and patience...alot of it. It is also gonna take some anguish and lonelyness. It is gonna take meeting alot of people who aint the one.

In the end...if you got the heart to keep trying for love...someone will see it. Then, you will remember why you wanted to be loved bad enough to take the chance with on-line dating.

It is worth it. I am so happy that I did it.

wxmann's photo
Thu 09/15/11 05:12 PM


.


You come off as being pretty negative. Your profile is all about what you don't do. And when you do talk about something you enjoy, such as the outdoors, you still complain about things like pests. Try being more positive, rather than complaining.


OK, something else I need to work on. Thanks :wink:

no photo
Mon 09/19/11 03:25 PM
Edited by 42BlackBBW on Mon 09/19/11 03:26 PM
Work on the negative bits but don't change to much or you'll wake up one morning and not recognise the person staring back at you in the mirror. Change the little things but don't change YOU too much as you might end giving a false impression of yourself that you can't live up to.

I'm sure you've got plenty of qualities that women look for, make those your starting point. The fact that you wear clothes that you're comfortable with on a date is a bonus - as long as they're clean - in my book.

grizz11952001's photo
Sat 10/01/11 07:24 PM
met some pretty some cool an some scary some mean but still worth that chance that one time il meet the one perfect girl that just clicks an has fun while we learn who the other one is before getting to serious.:banana:

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