I am real, at least as far as I know I am real - flesh and bone.

Don't know, never been there, they say it's nice

Am here but not here

Hmm...

I have an android (used-recondition) phone I paid well under $50 for.

Depressed. Work my tail off and not have anything left. Well.... I have a house, two vehicles I now completely own. But no extra spending cash to go out and do something "fun".

Will I ever get ahead?

No matter how much time I put at work I seem to always not have enough. For instance; today - I put in 60 hours of work last week so this week I had a nice paycheck. But after paying nearly $300 in the electric bill with a recommended plan (actual electrical usage is $158), then finding out my cargo van has a significant gas leak and my pleasure vehicle (Wrangler Sport) needs a new u-joint - I no doubt have to get one or the other fixed. So since the Jeep U-joint "would have been" $80 to get fixed, I done that today. But.... there is always something else that supposedly needs to be repaired as well. It ends up being the passenger side front wheel bearing that is dangerously loose and ready to fall apart. So I ended up paying allot more to get that fixed. Now I won't be able to pay the house insurance (on time), Along with the LP gas bill. Barely enough to buy a few grocery items again.

One positive thing is I no longer have an auto payment to make - I own both vehicles now. I'll be saving nearly $250 per month. I got family members that keep saying "Your father passes away and you get the house - how convenient is that?" What they don't realize I also get the mortgage that comes with the house too. Plus property taxes. And since he had high medical expenses, he misses a few mortgage payments that I inevitably had to pay up for, plus the interests incurred from those unpaid payments. The electric bill is much higher in my name than it was in his. But then again he wasn't enrolled in a bunch of plans like I shouldn't have done.

And of course women don't want to go out with some guy who doesn't have his finances right. Someone who struggles week after week making ends meet. It is what it is. Sell this place might sound like the better option, but can you rent another "decent" house or an apartment for $406/month? One that has an electrified 2-stall garage and a couple outbuildings? I've been doing allot of trimming of electrical consumption by replacing the lights from incandescent to either CFL or LED. The garage light use to be a 175 watt mercury vapor light converted to a 22 watt CFL. The floodlight on the shed out back use to be 150 watt halogen, now converted to a 10 watt LED. The bathroom had two 75 watt incandescent bulbs - now has two 5 watt LED bulbs. All that adds up in savings. And because of this "Cold" summer most everyone is complaining about - my weekly electrical usages is far lower than it was this time last year. Well, last year we had a bunch of medical machines running 24/7. Keep thinking that I'll see the light at the end of the tunnel. At least my limited faith keeps me thinking that way.

Then there is the other issue, others perception. The reason why I am not initially friendly to women is all the years of getting my face pounded in from boyfriends or husbands for being simply friendly to some gal. My nose has been rearranged twice and I have issues with the jaw bone. Friendly as in saying "Hi, how are you" or carrying on a casual conversation about something. Nowadays I don't say anything unless she does first. Grant you I see allot of pretty gals - like this evening at the grocery store. Petite size gal carrying a large pack of water. It looked rather heavy for her. I could have asked her if she wanted me to carry that for her. But.... what if she is married or a boyfriend sitting in the vehicle outside? How are they going to perceive that kind gesture. Are they going to think that I am just being kind to their wife/girlfriend? Or are they going to take it as a threat that I am taking their prized trophy away from them? I am EXTREMELY cautious when it comes to meeting women. Especially when the woman has that uncomfortable look in her face as if she thinks I'm out to get her.

However, at work I have female friends, but they are all married with a family. Got one coworker I do in a way miss working with her. Though I never admit it to her. We do text occasionally. So it's not like some say - I hate women. I like a decent caring gal and would like to have someone in my life. It's a matter of breaking past through that fear factor and able to opening up. Most importantly - "TRUST", both for my sake and hers. Show her I am not some monster she sees on the local news. Rather I am a kind gentle person who does really care. I can be a good listener. I am able to cook (not great but eatable), clean house and do laundry, as well as grocery shop. So she doesn't have to wait on me hand and foot. One thing I can't do is sit around the house all day. Sure, I can sit down and watch a movie, and be a bit cuddly too if that's her thing. I don't like large crowds, no fan of loud ear damaging noise (excessively loud music/concerts) without some sort of hearing protection or drink alcoholic beverages. I like for instance; sitting on the porch listening to God's symphony taking place tonight. The field crickets, locusts, frogs, etc. As well as the soft showers pitter pattering on the leaves and roof. Though it's a bit on the foggy side tonight. We needed a nice soft showery rain for a change.

I for one have a full time job - had it for seven solid years now, my own home, my own two vehicles and yes, I am looking for someone genuine. I'm not looking for someone for phone sex, or 24/7 texting or emailing, etc. So yes... there are some of us out there. Though we seem to be passed up by other women who claim not to do or like the game playing.

Yep, I'm well known for being one of the better machine operators at work too. When there is any overtime work or weekends I am usually the one that does that extra work. Why not? Nothing to do at home but watch the grass grow (that needs to be mowed again), go to the beach and watch all the beautiful babes walking with someone else, or off roading to see that "other guy" with his shiny off road vehicle & pretty gal riding along.

My patients is starting to wear out. I'm to that point of saying the heck with it - it isn't going to happen.

Off the beaten path, two tracks/trails that is. Deep in the woods off roading, splashing through the mud, crossing streams, over the rocky hills, etc.

Tired after 10.5 hours of work. Then spend an hour dealing with idiots on the road trying to purposely block you so you can drive the shoulder for a couple miles. Or deal with them blowing their horn because you sped up and got in front of them. Or stopped because the light was red and cross traffic was moving. Or that you had to slow down cause your road in coming up and you had to turn.

U don't want to know

A gal to hang out with - have dinner together.

1.) Automatic and Transfer Press operator
2.) License Fork Truck Operator
3.) Die Setter
4.) Coil Handler
5.) Some Overhead Crane Operation Training

Bull.

Not when you're someone like me who doesn't drink beer or whatever else, doesn't party, and doesn't dress appropriate (whatever that's suppose to mean) for summer weather. So.... I highly doubt that very much.

There are other kinds of clothes I kinda do like for their roominess and carefree movement that I suppose to be summer like clothing. They are thin, much thinner than what I normally wear. But those kind of clothes don't feel masculine. And they can be quite fluid in breezy conditions too which I'm not too keen on.

If I had a gal who could wear something similar, maybe I would too. But.... that will NEVER happen, so I am not at all worried about ever wearing stuff like that any time soon.

Our company will never allow that.

I got Dish Network Sat TV. I see their rate has gone up again for the 120 channel package. Now up to $76.95/month. Never ending story.

My number is blocked on all caller ID's. My phone service allows me to block phone numbers as well. That's why I don't get any telemarketers.

No, I didn't send any money!!!! Once the conversation turn to money that needs to be wired via Western Union or any other means - obvious it's a scam!

I phoned to see if I could really get a woman on the other line. Only called once! That's it - one time.