Topic: Marriage expectations
minemine2013's photo
Thu 02/21/13 11:45 PM
Participants:
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“Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed. ” Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married?” Why are we expecting perfection from our partner no one is perfect including me. There are good qualities you saw in your partner that is why you married him or her so be happy.Do you really think adults can change? No as for me I have decided to be happy with my partner.

456tessa's photo
Fri 02/22/13 12:07 AM
Of course, we can change and we should....but not because somebody wants as to, but because we go through experiences and learn and grow naturally, that is if we are open to that development, if we don't resist too much... Life is a journey of changes -- the only constant in life is a change... If there's no change there's no development, no growth...it's life without Life, it's dead life... Love is knowing about that changing and accepting, letting it in you and in the people around you. This may hurt sometimes but the more we know about life's journey, the more we are open to its wisdom and beauty....

navygirl's photo
Fri 02/22/13 01:26 AM

Of course, we can change and we should....but not because somebody wants as to, but because we go through experiences and learn and grow naturally, that is if we are open to that development, if we don't resist too much... Life is a journey of changes -- the only constant in life is a change... If there's no change there's no development, no growth...it's life without Life, it's dead life... Love is knowing about that changing and accepting, letting it in you and in the people around you. This may hurt sometimes but the more we know about life's journey, the more we are open to its wisdom and beauty....


I agree that as we age and learn we certainly do change but we have no right to change someone else. If they change; it should be their choice and we should respect their right to change and not force them to change to appease us.

minemine2013's photo
Fri 02/22/13 03:04 AM
Sometimes we sincerely want to change but we are too weak to actually change completely. Sometimes we don't know that what we are doing is wrong so to change becomes hard. I believe in change but most important study your partner before marriage if you can cope with him learn how to deal with his weakness.

GreenEyes48's photo
Fri 02/22/13 06:19 AM
Sometimes life can hand us lots of "tests" and challenges...Our mate could develop cancer and need our "care.".. Or one (or both) spouses could lose their jobs due to "cut-backs" or corporate "downsizing."...A couple may give birth to a "special needs" child...One day a tornado or hurricane could "wipe-out" our home...There's no telling what a couple might "encounter" as the years roll-on...Sometimes we have to get out of our "comfort zone" and develop new skills to cope with all the changes and challenges that life "hands us" along the way...It helps to be married to someone who is "flexible" and open to changes. (Versus someone who refuges to "budge" or "adapt" to changing circumstances.)

no photo
Fri 02/22/13 10:13 AM
Change happens. It is inevitable and can not be avoided. To artificially manipulate the naturally occurring changes is to invite disaster and disappointment. The relationship will determine if those changes are pleasurable or annoying. Remember as much as you are trying to change your partner you are also changing you, which is why the divorce rate is so high. Act in a manner that insures he/she will remain in love with you and the natural changes will be to your liking.

Toodygirl5's photo
Fri 02/22/13 04:16 PM
A woman should never go into a relationship trying to change a man. If a woman can not except the man as is, move on. A man can see a need, in his life to change and make that change himself. Often times men and women will make changes themself, their own choices.

TBRich's photo
Fri 02/22/13 04:35 PM
My dad told me to watch a church wedding and focus on the aisle, the altar and the hymn. I asked him why, he said remember it because that is what she will be thinking- I'll alter him.

angelstaz's photo
Fri 02/22/13 04:58 PM
I think as you grow in a relationship, people whether men or women change for whatever has affected them. Sometimes good sometimes not. But sometimes the change is because they put on a front and once they have you now its all about them. It goes for both sexes. However if you find the Peron your supposed to be with you'll change together to strengthen your relationship. It should always be each giving 50.

seamac's photo
Fri 02/22/13 06:59 PM
We age, we learn, we grow,we change. Sometimes we grow and that causes changes the other doesn't want to except. This often leads to unhappy couples who stay together for reasons of their own (we all know those reasons) sometimes it leads to divorce.

Sometimes we age, learn, grow and change and the other welcomes it as a way to expand the relationship. The other learns too and that growth is welcomed into the relationship, that is called ?? a partnership? Love? A relationship.

It works both ways, it is how we as a couple choose to or are able as individuals in the couple deal with the change that determines the outcome.

I think it is called 'Life'

Thinking you can change someone is futile. Love encompasses much, bears much but reaps greater rewards than it gives. That works both ways too.

pyxxie13's photo
Fri 02/22/13 07:09 PM
Changing people? Sounds like a nightmare. Either love them and accept all of them , or don't bother getting married.

no photo
Sat 02/23/13 07:37 AM

Participants:
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“Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed. ” Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married?” Why are we expecting perfection from our partner no one is perfect including me. There are good qualities you saw in your partner that is why you married him or her so be happy.Do you really think adults can change? No as for me I have decided to be happy with my partner.


My parents have told me when ever I get married, never stop dating my wife. It seems that after people get married the guy stops treating his wife nice and then she stops looking nice for her husband. I’ve always been told that marriage requires work by both parties.