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Topic: Opposite sex friends
no photo
Wed 09/25/13 04:21 PM
Do you have a problem with the person you're dating/in a relationship with having friends of the opposite sex?

Have you ever asked them not to see, or even be friends with someone of the opposite sex?

If you answered yes at all, please explain.

no photo
Wed 09/25/13 04:41 PM
hi

krupa's photo
Wed 09/25/13 04:43 PM
Hi2

I am forgainst it.

navygirl's photo
Wed 09/25/13 04:45 PM
No, when I dated I was very comfortable with the boyfriend having female friends as I trusted them. Never gave it a second thought but interestingly guys I dated had a problem with me having male friends. However; it didn't stop me from seeing my male friends and if he didn't like it then too bad. I am not giving up friends over some jealous boyfriend. That is just silly.

Ɔʎɹɐx's photo
Wed 09/25/13 05:08 PM
i have no problem in general , but i asked my dates few times not to keep in touch with some specific guys cause i didn't feel comfortable to the way they were dealing with her ... like talking a lot with her on the phone , texting her a lot , trying to get closer .... etc

jacktrades's photo
Wed 09/25/13 05:16 PM
No I don't have a problem with her having male friends at all but I have to admit there have been a few cases when I was a little jealous but I never said anything.

TawtStrat's photo
Wed 09/25/13 05:18 PM
Well, I dated a woman that was hanging about with her ex all the time and although I didn't make a fuss about it, it was a problem. I'm friends with an ex of mine and she keeps our friendship and the relationship that we had secret from him.

Whhen I told a girl that I met after the one that was hanging about with her ex she said that women that do that are as bad as guys that go "fanny fishing" and I think that she had a point. Male friends in general though are fine, especially if they are gay.

Ɔʎɹɐx's photo
Wed 09/25/13 05:30 PM
Edited by Ɔʎɹɐx on Wed 09/25/13 05:31 PM

Well, I dated a woman that was hanging about with her ex all the time and although I didn't make a fuss about it, it was a problem

it really is a problem .... going out with friends is ok , while going out with her ex is something completely different , they had feelings towards each others in the past , besides physical contact ... that is something can't be forgotten and will be present at least in minds whenever they met after ..
i recently encountered the Facebook profile of an ex of mine , and i was so happy to that coincidence ... she was engaged , i messaged her to congratulate her but she didn't reply , i understand and respected her as she starts a new life ... Friendship can turn into Love , wile opposite is not true !

no photo
Wed 09/25/13 05:33 PM
Edited by singmesweet on Wed 09/25/13 05:35 PM

i have no problem in general , but i asked my dates few times not to keep in touch with some specific guys cause i didn't feel comfortable to the way they were dealing with her ... like talking a lot with her on the phone , texting her a lot , trying to get closer .... etc


Did you not trust the ladies you were dating? If talking on the phone and texting aren't ok, what is ok?

Ɔʎɹɐx's photo
Wed 09/25/13 05:42 PM


i have no problem in general , but i asked my dates few times not to keep in touch with some specific guys cause i didn't feel comfortable to the way they were dealing with her ... like talking a lot with her on the phone , texting her a lot , trying to get closer .... etc


Did you not trust the ladies you were dating? If talking on the phone and texting aren't ok, what is ok?


i was clear , i said i didn't feel comfortable towards those specific guys , i trust each lady i love , but i can't trust every friend she has ... i only interpose when i feel that those guys are crossing the lines ... besides in the community where i live , things like talking or texting a lot are signs of interest , more to be signs of friendship

Ɔʎɹɐx's photo
Wed 09/25/13 05:46 PM
Edited by Ɔʎɹɐx on Wed 09/25/13 05:48 PM
by the way it happened in the opposite side , i was asked to cancel some friendships with ladies i knew because they did the same , and i did cancel their friendship , some people don't know when to stop , but in other cases i was weaker than doing that , it resulted in cheating and ruined some relationships i was involved in

no photo
Wed 09/25/13 05:51 PM



i have no problem in general , but i asked my dates few times not to keep in touch with some specific guys cause i didn't feel comfortable to the way they were dealing with her ... like talking a lot with her on the phone , texting her a lot , trying to get closer .... etc


Did you not trust the ladies you were dating? If talking on the phone and texting aren't ok, what is ok?


i was clear , i said i didn't feel comfortable towards those specific guys , i trust each lady i love , but i can't trust every friend she has ... i only interpose when i feel that those guys are crossing the lines ... besides in the community where i live , things like talking or texting a lot are signs of interest , more to be signs of friendship


What you're doing, though, is telling her that you don't trust that she can be friends with them with nothing happening. And you've done that with at least a few ladies from what you've said.

If a guy I was in a relationship could not trust me, it wouldn't work.

I talk on the phone with and text people I have no interest in other than friendship. It doesn't necessarily indicate interest beyond that.

dcastelmissy's photo
Wed 09/25/13 05:52 PM
Edited by dcastelmissy on Wed 09/25/13 06:03 PM


Well, I dated a woman that was hanging about with her ex all the time and although I didn't make a fuss about it, it was a problem

it really is a problem .... going out with friends is ok , while going out with her ex is something completely different , they had feelings towards each others in the past , besides physical contact ... that is something can't be forgotten and will be present at least in minds whenever they met after ..
i recently encountered the Facebook profile of an ex of mine , and i was so happy to that coincidence ... she was engaged , i messaged her to congratulate her but she didn't reply , i understand and respected her as she starts a new life ... Friendship can turn into Love , wile opposite is not true !


I can only say what's happened to me. I have been in several relationships, a marriage etc. I was not close to any of my ex's, except one. I spoke with him many times after our breakup romantically speaking, but our friendship was something that couldn't be broken. We started out as best friends, progressed and ultimately digressed from romance and went back to just friendship. I could count on him for anything and he could count on me for anything. I wish him well in his relationships and he does the same with me. We were just two people that connected in a special way. Do I still think of him in a romantic way? No and neither does he. I sometimes wish we had not gone beyond the friendship stage at all. We were just meant to be best friends. My two cents worth, for all it's worth.

no photo
Wed 09/25/13 05:53 PM

by the way it happened in the opposite side , i was asked to cancel some friendships with ladies i knew because they did the same , and i did cancel their friendship , some people don't know when to stop , but in other cases i was weaker than doing that , it resulted in cheating and ruined some relationships i was involved in


Ah, it becomes more clear. You're worried the ladies you're dating will cheat like you did.

TawtStrat's photo
Wed 09/25/13 05:54 PM


Well, I dated a woman that was hanging about with her ex all the time and although I didn't make a fuss about it, it was a problem

it really is a problem .... going out with friends is ok , while going out with her ex is something completely different , they had feelings towards each others in the past , besides physical contact ... that is something can't be forgotten and will be present at least in minds whenever they met after ..
i recently encountered the Facebook profile of an ex of mine , and i was so happy to that coincidence ... she was engaged , i messaged her to congratulate her but she didn't reply , i understand and respected her as she starts a new life ... Friendship can turn into Love , wile opposite is not true !


Well, my ex never said that she loved me when we were together but I know that she still has feelings for me and always will have. I didn't speak to her for five years because of the way that the relationship ended but I recently made friends with her again and it's been alright. She hasn't told her new boyfriend about me and has been conducting our friendship behind his back though like I said. As far as I'm concerned, that's her problem. I value our friendship and don't want to lose it and she still flirts with me but I'm not interested in anything more than that with a woman that's with someone else. She made her choice five years ago and she seems to love the guy, so I respect that and want her to be happy, even if it's not with me. I agreed that I wouldn't make trouble for her with her relationship and I don't call her or go to her house. I did take her to a party recently though and she didn't seem to like it when I kept introducing her to people as "a friend of mine".

Ɔʎɹɐx's photo
Wed 09/25/13 06:05 PM

I talk on the phone with and text people I have no interest in other than friendship. It doesn't necessarily indicate interest beyond that.


i am talking about spending long time texting and calling , something that is different from saying hi how do you do ...
you have to realize culture differences , in my community it's not easy to control the relation between male and female , most people are conservative and misunderstand such relations , some people consider a smile as a sign of interest , i have bad time fighting through such closeminded ... that's why i can't trust some guys ... i do trust my ladies , but to stay away from hard feelings i have to interpose sometimes so we can make everything clear .. and days proved in most of the cases that i was doing what is right


Ɔʎɹɐx's photo
Wed 09/25/13 06:07 PM
Edited by Ɔʎɹɐx on Wed 09/25/13 06:14 PM


by the way it happened in the opposite side , i was asked to cancel some friendships with ladies i knew because they did the same , and i did cancel their friendship , some people don't know when to stop , but in other cases i was weaker than doing that , it resulted in cheating and ruined some relationships i was involved in


Ah, it becomes more clear. You're worried the ladies you're dating will cheat like you did.


who doesn't worry ? sure i do , we are all humans and make mistakes , all we can do is to do our best not to make new ones .. but in the first place i am worried about her not to have any bad moments with guys trying to get closer while we are together

moneylow7's photo
Wed 09/25/13 06:26 PM
Edited by moneylow7 on Wed 09/25/13 06:48 PM

Do you have a problem with the person you're dating/in a relationship with having friends of the opposite sex?

Have you ever asked them not to see, or even be friends with someone of the opposite sex?

If you answered yes at all, please explain.

If you want to hung around with friends of the opposite sex you would have to reassure your partner that you are trust worthy and prove that in your actions.
P.S: Just b'cos you are in a relationship does not mean you should be trusted, trust is earned.

Tim198466's photo
Wed 09/25/13 06:44 PM
Hi I am new to here. But on this issue its very simple. . Its like when you give a friend a hug and you give your man or woman a hug their is a difference.

I believe most women can be friends with men but not the other way around because he is a man.
I have women who are really close friends but we don't text and talk everyday.
Sorry lady's that's just the way men are made for the most part.
If we were not we might not be looking for women not to offend anyone.
I do how ever think their are those few relationships where a man and a woman can be just friends but The guy or woman we are with had known them for years and who ever doesn't hide the things they talk about or do. Sorry never have wrote on one of these before. lol

no photo
Wed 09/25/13 07:02 PM
I would never tell my gf who she can't see but I will tell her all her boyfriends are just waiting around till they get the chance to have sex with her. Guys are only super nice to girls they wana have a sexual relationship

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