I don't judge people that easily or quickly either online or face to face. First I take some time to become familiar enough to know whether we identify with life's basic issues and each other enough to where furthering a friendship is worth the effort it takes to create the space for each other in our lives.

As for you thinking that I assume the worst in or about anything is rather startling when you and I have never communicated enough to really get to know each other on or offline.

So in this generalization I think your comment is unfair.

As for people telling me what I want to hear I think this statement is equally as ridiculous because it has no genuine foundation to base your position on as I assume you aren't privy to all my many conversations either online or face to face. So how could you ascertain this without any certainty?

Not to mention the fact that I'm a senior citizen who has been around the world long enough to know my own mind and the games people play. It doesn't take rocket science to see through scammers, players, liars, or cheats, it only takes a little time and a few in depth conversations to determine the trajectory of their goals and game.

In choosing who I want to get close too I've always let people prove themselves to me first. Faults and all. None of us are perfect and in fact it is our flaws that can make us more interesting and endearing, so I don't push people away or ignore them just based on their shortcomings or limitations.

It has always been about how the other treats me personally. If they respect me and show me than I respect them equally. If they don't respect me than there's no need to even try to connect because the natural attraction or infatuation isn't there for me. And it doesn't take long for me to determine this factor at all.

Someone can claim undying love for me and never fail to make me feel this way in private. But if as soon as they get me in front of their family and/or friends they show me the slightest bit of disrespect because their circle might not think I measure up to their standards, then it's over. And I don't fight to save a relationship that isn't based on a genuine connection from deep inside.

If someone claims love and they don't show it in front of others, then to me they are simply posers. And I'm not. I either like you or I don't. And if I do I stand up for you with all I've got, even if it costs me personally. That's just how much I devote myself to those I care for. And if they don't have the same or similar feelings and abilities for me, it's a waste of my time and energy to endure a one-sided relationship.

We are all different. Some people will tolerate anything to feel or be wanted. Some us of have earned the ability to draw lines we don't want or have to cross.

It's really just that simple to me.

Meeting strangers and becoming friends face to face is pretty simple for most of us.

First we judge each other by outward appearances and if our interest is peaked we take it to the next level by introducing ourselves to find out more personal details about our individual lives.

Then as our cursory exams pass the muster we start spending time together becoming more familiar and growing closer or farther apart depending on how we appreciate the other's responses to various shared experiences.

Face to face it's easier to determine each others authenticity through body language, eye to eye contact, emotional responses and the like. While the more involved we become our motives, integrity, daring and personal limits are readily apparent as well.

On the flip side...

Meeting strangers and becoming friends in online communities, not just on dating sites isn't as simple as it would seem to be for many of us.

With the advantage of cloaking abilities to weed through the masses looking for kindred spirits and minds we have to be ultra careful about whom we meet that may not ultimately appear as what or who they initially present themselves to be.

So we move forward protectively and let our guards down only after much repeated connectivity while also knowing instinctively there is still more than meets the eye online.

My questions then becomes...

From sociopaths and psychopaths to sycophants and autocrats... from introverts and extroverts to narcissists and trolling perverts... from the cream of the crop at the ivy league top to the very bottom of the socially acceptable pile of poor taste and lack of style...

How do we really know what kind of people we are dealing with while interacting online with others we spend time with becoming acquaintances and friends?

And in the grand scheme of developing relationships does personality types matter as much as appearance and substance does?

No, I don't think any type of photos that truly depict us at the various stages of our lives is misrepresentation.

I think misrepresentation is when we consistently present ourselves in false lights that are clearly meant to lure, bait and/or deceive without the actual intent of ever fully disclosing.

Well, I'm glad you are open to differing opinions.

Have at it, tah.

I've just learned to develop a thicker skin about it and trolls just don't really bother me anymore.

It is just people on the internet trying to get a reaction out of you, or just being annoying and they can only do that if you let them.

In a way it's like therapy or an anger management thing. There's not really anything that anybody on here can say to or about me that would really bother me anymore.

On the gaming site forum that I was on I was sent to the flame forum to do my posting because I was pissing off a lot of people by keeping criticising how a lot of other players were playing the game.

The rules are different in the flame forum and you can say pretty much anything that you like about anybody as long as you don't use personal information that they didn't bring into the ring themselves.

I actually give them personal information about myself out of choice and I don't have to do that and I could be a cowardly troll that flames other people but doesn't divulge things about myself like they are but that just makes them into shadowy non entities really and that's how I look at them.

It's called flamebaiting when people post things that are going to draw personal attacks.

If you do it on here you get the personal criticism and that maybe makes you think about yourself and your problems and you can become less sensitive about it.

It's not being able to take personal criticism that stops a lot of people from getting over their problems and holding onto anger and resentment.

Once you stop just blaming other people you can start to take a good look at yourself and really own up to your faults.

That's how I look at it.

Welcoming, even allowing myself to be converted by differences in opinions is what has helped me to see and understand the world in ways I never could have with a closed mind.

I don't have a problem with being wrong. Because I love to learn new things to keep my mind and feelings fresh and alive. Even if they sting initially from being called out.

If I was always right I could never experience the need to open myself up to grow. And there's nothing I dislike more in life than intellectual boredom.

I too have developed my senses, reflexes and neutral defenses by my experiences online. But like I said, I'm here looking to connect with like minds on a dating site. I didn't come here thinking I was going to be unwittingly drawn into an anger management group therapy type thingy.



This explanation is blowing me away.

If this is indeed how the games are played, or the fun is had on the boards... why is a dating site used in this manner?

Whose business is it of others to nit pick and criticize any other member for their personal views or beliefs on a dating site?

Even if people think they are trying to be of some psychological or social benefit to someone, if all they ever do is mock, poke fun and criticize how are they really being helpful?

Or are they merely justifying their bully and alienating divisive tactics with self denial excuses?

Isn't positive feedback ever an option? Or is the role of the group to completely tear a person down so they can remake them in their own image the only acceptable format?

If this is indeed the case, then we really don't know what kind of people we are meeting online who may have an agenda that has absolutely nothing to do with dating and making new friends.

To me this would be a more bait and switch type thing.