Topic: Wanting to have sex before Marriage
dreamerana's photo
Sun 07/06/14 05:56 PM
A lot of people judge others for a lot of different reasons. I believe only God can judge us.
There are so many opinions and judgements about premarital sex. I often wonder, isn't it a bigger sin to sit in judgment about someone else.

There are some that didn't lose their virginity by choice. Yet they still get judged.

There are men out there who molest children and are still looked at as a pillar of the church community.

Christianity is about trying to live a good life the best way we know how.
There is not one person who can say they have never done wrong.

I agree with Pancho and Isaac that there are worse things in the world than committing an act of love.

Dodo_David's photo
Sun 07/06/14 07:14 PM

A lot of people judge others for a lot of different reasons. I believe only God can judge us.
There are so many opinions and judgements about premarital sex. I often wonder, isn't it a bigger sin to sit in judgment about someone else.

There are some that didn't lose their virginity by choice. Yet they still get judged.

There are men out there who molest children and are still looked at as a pillar of the church community.

Christianity is about trying to live a good life the best way we know how.
There is not one person who can say they have never done wrong.

I agree with Pancho and Isaac that there are worse things in the world than committing an act of love.


In 1 Corinthians 5:12, the Apostle Paul specifically says that members of the universal Church are supposed to judge those within their ranks.

Indeed, Paul states, "I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people." (1 Cor. 5:11)

Paul isn't talking about Christians who engage in one-time acts of sinful behavior, but about Christians who make it their practice to engage in sinful behavior with no regrets or remorse.

We Christians are supposed to grieve over our sinfulness, not promote sinfulness.

Thomas27's photo
Sun 07/06/14 07:47 PM

We Christians are supposed to grieve over our sinfulness


Isn't that self-pity more or less?

dreamerana's photo
Sun 07/06/14 08:07 PM


A lot of people judge others for a lot of different reasons. I believe only God can judge us.
There are so many opinions and judgements about premarital sex. I often wonder, isn't it a bigger sin to sit in judgment about someone else.

There are some that didn't lose their virginity by choice. Yet they still get judged.

There are men out there who molest children and are still looked at as a pillar of the church community.

Christianity is about trying to live a good life the best way we know how.
There is not one person who can say they have never done wrong.

I agree with Pancho and Isaac that there are worse things in the world than committing an act of love.


In 1 Corinthians 5:12, the Apostle Paul specifically says that members of the universal Church are supposed to judge those within their ranks.

Indeed, Paul states, "I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people." (1 Cor. 5:11)

Paul isn't talking about Christians who engage in one-time acts of sinful behavior, but about Christians who make it their practice to engage in sinful behavior with no regrets or remorse.

We Christians are supposed to grieve over our sinfulness, not promote sinfulness.

David,
I have a lot of respect and admiration that you seem to truly live by your beliefs. I have followed your posts across many threads and over a period of time.
You are one of a few people who doesn't contradict themselves by stating one thing in one thread and then blatantly saying something different in one of the more provocative threads.

I can only speak for myself in regards to any topic. Not for many Christians. Nor for women in general. Nor for any other characteristic which might describe me.
I will openly say I am neither a virgin nor a ho. The first is due to choice being taken from me.
The second is I choose not to be objectified.
If and when the time comes to have this discussion in a solid committed relationship, these things will be an open and honest discussion.
I truly believe that only God can judge me. I don't read the bible, but I do know there is something that says judge not lest ye be judged.
Having said that, I don't promote a life of promiscuity. Each person makes his or her own choices in that regard.
Here on earth we can only live as our conscience dictates and do our best to follow the beliefs we hold true.
My most sincere and deep respects to you.

no photo
Mon 07/07/14 07:16 AM
Edited by Azgoodlookin on Mon 07/07/14 07:44 AM


A lot of people judge others for a lot of different reasons. I believe only God can judge us.
There are so many opinions and judgements about premarital sex. I often wonder, isn't it a bigger sin to sit in judgment about someone else.

There are some that didn't lose their virginity by choice. Yet they still get judged.

There are men out there who molest children and are still looked at as a pillar of the church community.

Christianity is about trying to live a good life the best way we know how.
There is not one person who can say they have never done wrong.

I agree with Pancho and Isaac that there are worse things in the world than committing an act of love.


In 1 Corinthians 5:12, the Apostle Paul specifically says that members of the universal Church are supposed to judge those within their ranks.

Indeed, Paul states, "I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people." (1 Cor. 5:11)

Paul isn't talking about Christians who engage in one-time acts of sinful behavior, but about Christians who make it their practice to engage in sinful behavior with no regrets or remorse.

We Christians are supposed to grieve over our sinfulness, not promote sinfulness.


Hey David, Here's that scripture in the context of what paul actually meant though;

1 Corinthians 5:9-11 "9) I wrote to you in my epistle not to keep company with sexually immoral people. <b> 10) Yet I certainly did not mean with the sexually immoral people of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. <b>

(Paul wasn't speaking of what we think as a sexually immoral person of this world at all, he was speaking of those after Christ returns and of those who will never actually repent. Because as He says above, if we did avoid them here, we'd have to leave the world to actually do it.)

11) But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner- not even to eat with such a person."

And then he goes into it further in 12-13, speaking about those outside of the kingdom of God and the Holy Spirit. Because those are who God Judges, not those within the new Covenant of Love through Jesus.

"12) For what have I to do with judging those also who are outside? Do you not judge those who are inside? 13) But those who are outside God judges. Therefore “put away from yourselves the evil person.”


no photo
Mon 07/07/14 07:26 AM


We Christians are supposed to grieve over our sinfulness


Isn't that self-pity more or less?


Basically it means to grieve for those who revel in Sin, not for oneself. Jesus taught compassion, and in doing so He wants us to grieve for those who will never repent...

Dodo_David's photo
Mon 07/07/14 09:37 AM
In the flesh, a single Christian man may want to have sexual intercourse with his girlfriend. However, in the spirit, the man wants to follow God's revealed will by refraining from sexual sin. Such a man faces a struggle that all Christians face while still on this side of eternity.

Because we have this constant struggle, we all need the Holy Spirit's help to resist the temptation to sin.

Trouble arises when a Christian decides to give the flesh everything that the flesh wants regardless of God's will as revealed in the Bible.
The situation is made worse if the same Christian encourages others to go against God's revealed will.

RainbowTrout's photo
Mon 07/07/14 11:06 AM
Edited by RainbowTrout on Mon 07/07/14 11:08 AM

I recently just went through a barrage of judgment from a person I thought understood my beliefs. It was out of no-where that this person told me that I was a Luke-warm Christian due to me being okay with sex before marriage.

It hurt not only being called a person that God wants to spit out of his mouth, but more so because I cared for this girl. We had come to an agreement before hand, and I thought we we're on the same page. But then out of no-where, she one eighties on me, but I don't blame her at all for feeling this way.

As someone who believes/knows Jesus died for my sins, I know just how BIG God really is, but I also have a lot of confidence in Him knowing me inside and out as well. I am a sinner, and will sin for the rest of my life, but I am just tired of so many people who go through condemnation and persecution on a daily basis that end up doing this to each other!

It's all about God, Jesus, and the Holy spirit in the end, but at the same time, apart of me really does just want that intimacy in a sexual relationship with another human being.

What do you think? No judgement here at all, I'm just wondering what others believe on this topic.


1 Corinthians 7:9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

Congratulations on your control.happy You and her both dodged a bullet.:smile:

truthreigns's photo
Sun 07/13/14 11:46 AM
1st corinthians 6:18 but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

proverbs 16:25 There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.

Toks88's photo
Tue 07/15/14 07:37 AM

As someone who believes/knows Jesus died for my sins, I know just how BIG God really is, but I also have a lot of confidence in Him knowing me inside and out as well. I am a sinner, and will sin for the rest of my life, but I am just tired of so many people who go through condemnation and persecution on a daily basis that end up doing this to each other!

It's all about God, Jesus, and the Holy spirit in the end, but at the same time, apart of me really does just want that intimacy in a sexual relationship with another human being.

What do you think? No judgement here at all, I'm just wondering what others believe on this topic.


I cannot judge or condemn you. You should be ashamed of your sin and not to say "I am a sinner, and will sin the rest of my life".
Repentance is compulsory!!!

Toks88's photo
Tue 07/15/14 07:41 AM
Edited by Toks88 on Tue 07/15/14 07:57 AM

Toks88's photo
Tue 07/15/14 07:41 AM
Edited by Toks88 on Tue 07/15/14 07:56 AM
Let the death of Jesus Christ not be in vain.

fieldsaway's photo
Wed 07/16/14 03:51 PM
Thank God for his forgiveness of our sins. Once we accept Jesus into our heart we try not to sin but we fail at times. This doesn't mean we are to continue in the sin. Sex is made for the marriage bed only. I'm trying my best to live up to "no sex before marriage" and I have to pray for Gods strength daily. Keep praying and trying and know God loves you.

no photo
Wed 07/16/14 04:20 PM

This is the way I look at it.
The world today, is a meat grinder.
People are killing and destroying each other and everything around them.
Having sex with someone you love...without marriage,
is a very minor detail.
Unfortunately, religious fanatics sometimes tend to see it the other way around.
I agree with you @panchovanilla, but there are many things people do in the name of religion without knowing why!

BeautyBrownEyes's photo
Sun 08/10/14 05:16 PM

I recently just went through a barrage of judgment from a person I thought understood my beliefs. It was out of no-where that this person told me that I was a Luke-warm Christian due to me being okay with sex before marriage.

It hurt not only being called a person that God wants to spit out of his mouth, but more so because I cared for this girl. We had come to an agreement before hand, and I thought we we're on the same page. But then out of no-where, she one eighties on me, but I don't blame her at all for feeling this way.

As someone who believes/knows Jesus died for my sins, I know just how BIG God really is, but I also have a lot of confidence in Him knowing me inside and out as well. I am a sinner, and will sin for the rest of my life, but I am just tired of so many people who go through condemnation and persecution on a daily basis that end up doing this to each other!

It's all about God, Jesus, and the Holy spirit in the end, but at the same time, apart of me really does just want that intimacy in a sexual relationship with another human being.

What do you think? No judgement here at all, I'm just wondering what others believe on this topic.


"""""No judgement here; I'm just wondering what others believe on this topic"""""""

No judgement. I don't condemn people for what they do either. Because if you want to have sex, that's your business, and that's between you and God. I am the kind of person who is still going to accept a person the way they are, in other words, as long as they don't impose it on me, out of common respect. With things in general.

I can tell you that I am in the same boat as the girl you care about who you are talking about here. I have a thread about this, but lost track of it.... and it is probably in one of the many, many pages here, somewhere to be found.

I do not have sex outside of a marriage context, and I won't. There are many Christians struggling with this issue, refraining from sex for God, until marriage, trying to follow the bible in this area of their lives. I relate, as it is not easy. We all have the same desires and feelings as you. Also, when a man really loves and cares about a woman, and she feels this way, and wants to wait until marriage to have sex, he will wait, and respect that, and continue to court her, hoping that the relationship will lead to something long-term and meaningful, IE: marriage. And if he is really in love with her, he will also set goals toward marriage, move forward in those goals, and share those goals with her. There is also help in churches, if you would like pastoral counseling regarding the sex issue in your life, to be able to become stronger in that area of your life. Personally, for example, I don't want to be sexual outside of a marriage type of context, because if I do, I feel like I hurt God. It doesn't spiritually agree with me. That is also because I am committed to God. And also because I am "connected" to him. He convicts my spirit, if I sin, just like I'm sure he convicts yours if you sin. And once you know what is sin, you become accountable for it. Fornication is sex outside of a marriage context. The bible clearly talks about fornication being a sin, and to "flee from fornication". There are ways to help "not lead us into temptation" and that's what we're suppose to do. Like don't spend a lot of time alone in a home with a member of the opposite sex; get out in the public and do things together. Don't talk about sex, because it could lead to sex. You can guard yourself in these ways.

There are Christians who are indeed also like, "I am committed to God, but don't talk to me about saving sex for marriage". They are not fully committed to God.

This is not about judgement. A lot of Christians struggle with this issue, and we are all here to help eachother as Christians. You are seeking so you asked for support in this area. Now God is giving it to you. There are a lot of sexually transmitted diseases out there also, so you have to be careful for that reason also.

Or, consider the fact that you may not be in love with her, otherwise, you might be willing to wait and plan toward a marriage, as I explain above.


no photo
Sun 08/10/14 06:49 PM
If we follow Gods commands! Marriage first before sex! Read for the 10 commandments.:smile:

no photo
Sun 08/10/14 06:52 PM
Edited by Aida098 on Sun 08/10/14 06:56 PM

BeautyBrownEyes's photo
Sun 08/10/14 07:09 PM
rainbow trout:

1 Corinthians 7:9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

(clapping) (smile)

noeleena's photo
Wed 08/13/14 04:26 AM
Hi,

So tell me go back just before 2,000 years ago there was no church , right yet most of the teaching of to day is infact from the Jews, yet even that is suspect because the jews would kill thier own people and murderded 1000.s of them in ad 60- 70 so what right have they in telling us what to do when they killed murdered to eat there own to stay alive because they could not did not do what they had been asked to do ,

and it was only two tribes of the 12 tribes ,out of israel,
and they had thier own wifes put to death because they had it off with another man yet no men were put to death , and it was the same Jews who had a brothel next to the synigogue, just for the men married or not did they get put to death .... OH NO ...they were men of repute,

Very one sided , i think . so much for the so called church and what it did and its not stopped yet ,

Have a look back further again say 4000 years was it a sin then for two people to come to gether they did not marry they just lived to gether had thier own children was that a sin ,

people to day have a western thinking mind and what a society wonts does not make it right or a select few = rules ,

time people today rethink what was really written back then instead of what has been imposed on us over the many years,

I accept marrage is lovely , you dont need it for two people to live together , and love each other , you dont need a peace of paper ,

Any way a few things to think about ,

...noeleena...

CowboyGH's photo
Wed 08/13/14 11:05 AM

Hi,

So tell me go back just before 2,000 years ago there was no church , right yet most of the teaching of to day is infact from the Jews, yet even that is suspect because the jews would kill thier own people and murderded 1000.s of them in ad 60- 70 so what right have they in telling us what to do when they killed murdered to eat there own to stay alive because they could not did not do what they had been asked to do ,

and it was only two tribes of the 12 tribes ,out of israel,
and they had thier own wifes put to death because they had it off with another man yet no men were put to death , and it was the same Jews who had a brothel next to the synigogue, just for the men married or not did they get put to death .... OH NO ...they were men of repute,

Very one sided , i think . so much for the so called church and what it did and its not stopped yet ,

Have a look back further again say 4000 years was it a sin then for two people to come to gether they did not marry they just lived to gether had thier own children was that a sin ,

people to day have a western thinking mind and what a society wonts does not make it right or a select few = rules ,

time people today rethink what was really written back then instead of what has been imposed on us over the many years,

I accept marrage is lovely , you dont need it for two people to live together , and love each other , you dont need a peace of paper ,

Any way a few things to think about ,

...noeleena...



So tell me go back just before 2,000 years ago there was no church


Excuse me? Please elaborate on that.


yet most of the teaching of to day is infact from the Jews,


Absolutely incorrect. Our "teaching" of today came from Jesus Christ, our Lord, Savior, creator, God, and more. Yes it started with the Jews as most everything is offered to the Jews first, as they are God's chosen people. But nevertheless our teachings do not follow the Jews any longer as they did not go into the second covenant with God. They still obey the old covenant, old testament. As they don't see Jesus as whom he claimed to be. To them Jesus was just a normal mortal man that did not agree with them.


I accept marrage is lovely , you dont need it for two people to live together , and love each other , you dont need a peace of paper


No you don't need it for two people to live together or to love one another, that piece of paper is only as worth as the paper it's written on. It's about the ceremony itself and the vows shared between them. Those vows are to God, not to each other persay. When you take the wedding vows, you're vowing to them of course, but also to God. Vowing to God you'll love this person forever and always, ect. That's what joins the two together, God of course but it's from those vows made between the two. Not some piece of paper, not the government saying you're married or not, it's again the vows you make to the spouse and to God to love them and to remain with them forever.