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| Topic: drawn to narcissism,, ? yes or no | |
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smiles... but your reaction prove you not a narcissist... indeed than probably of the more evolved species than humans... hehehe... I'm a Melmacian. So, it goes without saying that I am better than Humans. 
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for me, narcissism is an extreme turnoff by that I mean those who meet the definition of having NPO(narcissistic personality disorder) but personal taste is different for all(obviously, making it 'personal') just as some are drawn to 'roughnecks' and others to 'gentlemen' is there anyone who finds themself drawn to the narcissist? (whether proud of it or not) **Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of ultraconfidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism. ---http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/basics/definition/CON-20025568?p=1 Most everyone I've ever known has shown some narcissistic traits/behavior at one time or another, myself included. Even though most of them weren't typically narcissistic. The question for me is, how far do they take it, and how much am I willing to put up with? With every individual, the answer could be somewhat different. I'd rather date someone who can at least acknowledge some of her faults and admit that she's not perfect rather than someone who thinks that she's 110% flawless 120% of the time. 
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All due respect we are also born into the world unable to walk and pooping ourselves, yet we safely diagnose adults with these traits as somehow afflicted.
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All due respect we are also born into the world unable to walk and pooping ourselves, yet we safely diagnose adults with these traits as somehow afflicted. Lol that will probably describe me in a few years. Good articles there, good reading. To me, the big take on both narcissists and hyper sensitives is a common thread... insecurity. May I assume that all of us are insecure in one way or another? The difference is how we deal with it. I think in one way or another we all want to be liked by others. Narcissists insist that is an inborn right, and to hell with anyone that doesn't think so. Worshipping them is the only way they acknowledge to themselves that they are liked. It's a one way thing, reciprocating to them is a weakness. If you're a god(dess) and have to do something to earn your worship, are you a deity anymore? With hyper sensitives, they work on feedback. They care and love in the hope that they will be acknowledged for that. They see their worth measured only by that acknowledgment. And unfortunately a lot of them see the narcissist, who (supposedly) is admired by many, as the highest form of acknowledgment they can get. And therein lies the trouble... like a prisoner dying of thirst, every dropful received takes that much more importance in their eyes. And of course the narcissist give less, since it elicits that much stronger response. I don't know, maybe I'm over philosophizing this. |
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Edited by
davidben1
on
Mon 11/24/14 11:58 PM
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All due respect we are also born into the world unable to walk and pooping ourselves, yet we safely diagnose adults with these traits as somehow afflicted. don't worry, it's to be expected. narcissist don't like me. hehehe... please forgive me Madam for making one aware that DOCTORS MAKE SAFE DIAGNOSIS of others as having this affliction, after having BOTH PARTIES INVOLVED IN SESSION... since they KNOW, all to well, how couples can BOTH BLAME EACH OTHER. does he say you were the narcissist... but ya know, regular folk making diagnosis fit the very description you gave of the narcissist... "Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance"... can you prescribe medications as well... surgeries would be rather convenient. hehehe... damn, low low low, low low low, do go go go, go go go, as the narcissistic LOVES to go and play doctor but who gets to play doctor on you. |
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My soon to be ex-husband would be considered by most to be a narcissist. We battled this together for many years. He even agreed on occasion and tried to settle down and be more empathetic of others, on numerous occasions. Although, mostly he would just brood in our bedroom and ignore everyone, probably until he saw how this would help him. This was never an easy task for him. But I always felt I could rein him in, before he damaged a relationship with a friend or another family member. This worked for more than 20 years.
Well sooner or later, you have to let them fall. It is only when they fall that they recognize their problem. In less than 6 months, he has left the woman he left me for, his friends, and his job. He didn't have anyone to rein him in. He knows it's his fault and is trying to fix himself, living alone. He doesn't blame me, but I do. I knew what I was doing when I did it, I let him knowing what he would do. Self destruct. Hopefully, he will figure it out and find a life that works for him. Stay away from this personality unless you can handle the lies, cheating, and too many confrontations. This can seriously damage your psyche. This is serious. Although, I did have boundaries, and never took the accusations or blame as my own, which upset him. I still stayed and remained loyal. You will find many of the same ilk with this personality. Better to stay away. |
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Articulate and assertive men are hard to come by. Most of the time you run across a man who's exaggerating how great his life is just for show. Rarely is it someone who knows and is secure in who he is without being such a cold-hearted pric.k.
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lack of empathy for others is a trait for narcissistic ...
and co dependance ... I forget is their a middle ground of what a person can be... while your analyzing them as you do and study them as you do
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Edited by
fleta_n_mach
on
Wed 11/26/14 04:56 PM
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lack of empathy for others is a trait for narcissistic ... and co dependance ... I forget is their a middle ground of what a person can be... while your analyzing them as you do and study them as you do Co-dependance is a bi-lane highway. The manipulator in the relationship will draw both into the murky gloom of it's reality. |
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I do have to say all the insight has been very enlightening...and I kinda get the needs of the "kind sensitive" personality...I personally didn't and don't care if I'm appreciated though...kinda like when I was a kid I was walking home eating m n m's ....I dropped one on the ground and thought about just picking it up and eating it..then I thought why not let the ants have it...got a block up the road and had to go back to the lost piece of candy...I looked at it...felt sad...put another m n m next to it and finished my walk home...I doubt the candy noticed anything... Geez..I am just one strange lady...but for the most part happy and I don't mind being alone...I wonder why I thought the candy did..?...hmmmmm
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I do have to say all the insight has been very enlightening...and I kinda get the needs of the "kind sensitive" personality...I personally didn't and don't care if I'm appreciated though...kinda like when I was a kid I was walking home eating m n m's ....I dropped one on the ground and thought about just picking it up and eating it..then I thought why not let the ants have it...got a block up the road and had to go back to the lost piece of candy...I looked at it...felt sad...put another m n m next to it and finished my walk home...I doubt the candy noticed anything... Geez..I am just one strange lady...but for the most part happy and I don't mind being alone...I wonder why I thought the candy did..?...hmmmmm 
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I'm attracted to narcissists sometimes because I like people with self confidence and they seem to exude that, but in the end they can't be trusted at all because it's all about them. My ex was a narcissist, he always laughs when I call him that for some reason. I guess because it's funny to be a jerk sometimes. Narcissist is just another for a jerk I think.
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My soon to be ex-husband would be considered by most to be a narcissist. We battled this together for many years. He even agreed on occasion and tried to settle down and be more empathetic of others, on numerous occasions. Although, mostly he would just brood in our bedroom and ignore everyone, probably until he saw how this would help him. This was never an easy task for him. But I always felt I could rein him in, before he damaged a relationship with a friend or another family member. This worked for more than 20 years. Well sooner or later, you have to let them fall. It is only when they fall that they recognize their problem. In less than 6 months, he has left the woman he left me for, his friends, and his job. He didn't have anyone to rein him in. He knows it's his fault and is trying to fix himself, living alone. He doesn't blame me, but I do. I knew what I was doing when I did it, I let him knowing what he would do. Self destruct. Hopefully, he will figure it out and find a life that works for him. Stay away from this personality unless you can handle the lies, cheating, and too many confrontations. This can seriously damage your psyche. This is serious. Although, I did have boundaries, and never took the accusations or blame as my own, which upset him. I still stayed and remained loyal. You will find many of the same ilk with this personality. Better to stay away. Susan, I could be wrong, but what you've described sounds to me like someone who's just basically antisocial. Basically the "strong silent type" taken to extreme. But yeah, stay away from those too. To throw another monkey in the wrench, I love the show Archer (I like most dysfunctional shows actually). I'm sure all you who've seen the show agree he fits perfectly the description of a narcissist. I read up on the show, and some character descriptions, and it seems his character is intended to be mildly autistic. So, I wonder, are most narcissists basically a mild form of autism? I'm not using that to defend them, but it in an intriguing thought. |
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I'm attracted to narcissists sometimes because I like people with self confidence and they seem to exude that, but in the end they can't be trusted at all because it's all about them. My ex was a narcissist, he always laughs when I call him that for some reason. I guess because it's funny to be a jerk sometimes. Narcissist is just another for a jerk I think. I meant to type: Narcissist is another word for jerk... |
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there is one thing certain...
the beginning tell of a narcissist is they feel, think, believe, and act upon the notion that all others actions should be pleasing to them self personally, or they are not good words or actions, hence then deeming all who don't please self as not good, valuable or loving people. for a narcissist is consumed with it self being loved, and views love as all others wants, words and actions as loving only if they please it self. so of course, these will care nothing for mutual want and mutual consent as love. for to these, their own want and consent means to them that others should want and consent to the same. and then anger when another does not consent nor agree... huh... it is most the immense data put forth into the world from such perspective as correct that has bred such primitive notions in the minds of many that such is love and the way to think so act upon. peace |
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Edited by
jayneiniowa
on
Fri 11/28/14 01:48 PM
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Well, I have been in a few bad relationships over the years, and known men with serious, serious issues. However, until I ran into a malignant narcissist I had never had someone turn my life upside down to that degree. Yes, there is a huge difference between someone who is an overconfident braggart and some with narcissistic personality disorder. And no, you don't have to BE a narcissist to recognize one. As a matter of fact, it can takes months or years of confusing and mentally abusive behavior before you figure out what has happened to your life and finally admit to yourself that you are in a relationship that will never work long-term and love someone with an incurable condition who will never love you in return.
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