Every comment here is appreciated. I talk to him about everything but i like to get some other views. So thanks to all.

And its not that i dont trust him. Its just my boyfriends don't babysit my kids lol.

You better keep an eye on him in case he tries to love your boys..

I think he said honestly

Just because you wonder about the intent of what he was saying doesn't mean you are insecure. (we all are to some degree anyway).

Have you asked him about what he means when he says that, asked him to explain?

If you have never met this man you need to realize people put up fake pictures and what if he is a child mol? that man should not be so into your children. He would not not see my kids.

I can't say what it is that the fellow actually meant by this, especially since English is his second language, but I CAN tell you why you found it so unsettling. Please note that I am NOT saying that this is what he MEANT to say, only what you might be thinking, which makes what he did say, so disconcerting.

* It is because on the surface, he is declaring that it isn't you as an at individual who he values. It is because you have children only. This could mean that he will chase any woman who has children. You aren't at all special as a person.

* it is because it sounds like a threat to your children themselves. That he has targeted their acquisition for himself, and that you are merely the person who brings them within his range. Perhaps you fear a child molester, or perhaps it's more subtle, and you fear that he wants to take away their true father from them. That would in turn devalue your own past existence in a way, and again mean that you were less meaningful than you ought to be to him.

I would be careful I am a single Mom and I have had a couple of scammers sound like that.


http://www.rcmp-grc.gc.ca/scams-fraudes/index-eng.htm



http://romancescams.org/

Maybe it's a fetish? Some people have those things for moms.

In any case just ask him just what he meant by that xD

Everything's

I agree. He may be a decent man who likes the idea of having a family. Just keep both eyes open and one hand on the exit. Good luck, you deserve a decent guy.

Dating with kids can be dicey because it is harder to know if they love you as the lifetime partner or the package of family life. If he is marrying you for your kids then you are getting sold out.

In many cultures the "proof" that a woman can reproduce is a powerful draw for family approval but it can be a double edge sword when you have additional or don't want to have additional children.

One thing I would not forget is con artists are not above pretending that the family they are suggesting they have is in fact part of the con. What would make you lower your guard more than talking to "friendly" future in laws? It sounds like he is working a little too hard to sell the we are already family concept.

Especially when what is the truth is going to be nearly impossible for you to find out in and international situation.

You don't strike me as being a jealous person but that your instincts are pinging that something is not Kosher gives me a real reason to PAUSE and ALERT. Not like you are going to get a lot of reasons to suspect someone you have not even been in the same room with because he has already in effect lowered your guard by entering your home/family via SKYPE. Something I think was very unwise even though I have favor for the potential of step fathers when he has first become a real life boyfriend and fianc�.

Especially when you are talking about a cross border relationship which I personally would never consider with minor children. If he ever gets you and or your children out of country your rights evaporate really fast. And I promise you the USA will not get involved getting you or your kids home. For the record I can buy a phony passport for anybody; adult of child for under $500. in certain neighborhoods no questions asked. And if that is not sobering enough your children are worth several hundred thousand on the black market.

Have you even ask him if he can have children? If for some reason he does not want additional children, can not afford un-subsidized children, or hopes your need for someone to accept your children may pave a way for marriage/citizenship are all facts to consider.

And if you have not inquired about international marriages then you really should. They are very complicated, take years, and can cost thousands of dollars when you try to do it legit.

What is rarely owned up to is if he is married to you then he can bring his family into his home weather you want them their or not. And he can keep them there if he starts a business and gets them work visas. Maybe it is only for a visit but that is the majority of the way people come into this country and fail to go home so you could be dealing with all kinds of issues you may or may not have thought of for years.

Age may be a factor. He may have had to prioritize other responsibilities and is glad to have a head start on having a family rather than starting/finishing later in life. Or possibly later than his siblings. Or as was the case in my late husband's situation he had already done the "baby duty " with siblings and friends and was willing to skip a repeat. Also that he did not want to put children and a spouse through what can be the harsh realities of a beginning even dangerous early career but generally men are rarely that selfless.

Sorry if this gives you chills but I rather burst a bubble of romance that never has really happened yet than see a good Christian woman get used because she wants to believe in the humanity of man.

Think about this ; if he is really this great why doesn't he have a nice woman in his own country clamoring to marry him?

being a single father myself...I would prefer dating a single mom because of time restraints being a parent. it would be more of a challenge if she didn't understand the parent part of it.. as for your situation if he doesn't have his own kids its possible hes positioning them as an anchor to make sure you stick around... just a thought...

You could also ask why Carrie can't find a good man in her own area. As I understand it though, it's because she doesn't have much time for real life dating because she has kids to look after and that's why she chats with blokes on the internet herself.

It's a weird situation for sure. I know that over a period of two years you can feel that you really know somebody that you only know on the internet. I had a penpal myself on here that I corresponded with that long and it felt like a good friendship. Sometimes you can feel that you know people on television better than you know the real people in your life. With the SKYPE thing it's interactive as well.

I'm not sure what to advise you. I'm inclined to agree with Joyce PacificStar there but then I think back to how she and others like her like to say that a person's posts on here reveal what they're really like and you've had more than just blocks of text from this dude.

Nevertheless, it seems to me that you introduced your kids to him and you say that he just kind of went along with it, so someone could just as well read all sorts of things into you doing that, which you would probably deny. You've really got to know each other though; as best as you could, without actually meeting.

You wouldn't have posted this thread if there wasn't a problem and if you completely trusted this man. You're a nice girl though that tends to see the good in people. That's why you feel strange and where your dilemma lies. You're saying things about how you wouldn't leave your kids alone with him and then brushing that off as just being about babysitting but you didn't mean that at all. You wouldn't leave your kids alone with this man and you don't know if they're safe with him. Your kids are your first priority and you can't do anything that might endanger them. You don't think that this guy's a paedo but it's possible and he acts a bit like one.

He just happened to offer to teach them the guitar. He wouldn't like you as much if you didn't have kids and you didn't instantly ask him what he meant by that. Why not? You asked us first and then discussed it with him. And he has an answer for everything and it's fine.

Don't ask people on the internet for reassurance about other people on the internet. That's just repeating the same mistake. Why trust our words if his aren't good enough?

After reading your post the first thing that came to mind was
Is he a pedophile?
If so RUN

All really great points. Thank you!

"Why can't Carrie find a man in her own country?"

I can. I have. They didn't work out so I kept on trying. Somehow I ended up on mingle2. I found more men from my country and then some from other countries. They didn't work out. I didn't quit. Until a friendship turned into something more. He just happens to be from another country.

you refer to him as your "boyfriend" but surely a boyfriend is a physical thing?

i'm not saying the guy isn't genuine and wants to be with you and your kids and be happy ever after.

but you really can't get to know someone truly unless you're in a physical relationship with them?

anyway good luck and i hope it works out well for you.

OMG.. your spidey senses are tingling! pay attention!
Shake this guy - find someone local. keep your children out of this relationship..
You would be better off with someone you can touch and feel.. just sayin