I feel like I have reverted back to the shy teenage girl I once was not the mature woman I have been for 20 years. it's strange to me dating at this age but hey i dont want to spend my best years alone either so here I am...

We are in the same boat....good luck for both of us!

Dear Venus ...

Just thought I'd chime in with a guy's perspective ...

It's especially not easy for us. At our age we've all been burned and it seems that many women either hate men, or want a replacement to do chores around their house. Lol!

Was kind of hoping just to find someone and enjoy each others company.

Anyway, that's one man's perspective. Good luck to us all!

From,
Mars

Yes it is definitely harder to find love at our age coz the first thing that men are attracted to women is the physical aspect and we older women cant compete with the sweet young things. Age is against us although we still have a lot to offer to any man

Who's bringing the popcorn?

Here you go




Honestly I found it easier to date as I got older.
The reasons why?
I wasn't as nervous making that first impression wasn't as stressful because I was comfortable in my own skin. A wonderful feeling.

I know if it doesn't work out my world won't end might be a bit disappointed but hey there is always another day.

Hopefully we have gotten a bit wiser in our years, We are comfortable in our own skin. And we aren't in a rush to just be with someone..

Nah I found life really began at 40... And keeps getting better with each year as they go by

might be that you are out of practice
could also be that your standards are a bit higher now than when you were young

Either way it wouldn't matter.
Dating isn't easy.


Probably because you've never been this age before.
New things seem stranger.
You're a different person, meeting new people.
Why would you expect it to not be strange?


That might be part of the problem of why dating seems harder.
Maybe you're more focused on not being alone.

Kinda like rich and successful people don't really focus on not being poor, they focus on their immediate projects, one step after another, what they're doing, how to get their money to work for them, making good baby step decisions based on facing risk, identifying the real problem and focusing on fixing that.

How to get to a certain goal or what they're doing right now, not worry about, or how to avoid, a certain consequence or feeling.

With online dating there is a huge attitude difference between "I am here because I don't want to be alone and I'll try anything," and, "I am here because I want to date, this is one of the places the people are I want to try."

Of course, with online dating, there is a common occurrence of "I say I don't want to be alone, but really I just don't want to feel lonely, so I just need someone for short term attention to turn my mind away from my loneliness.
And once I get that fix I am going to drop them and then come back when I start feeling lonely again and do it all over.
I know, on some level, that's a bad thing to do to people, so I'm going to rationalize that there are all sorts of problems with them.
And then blame it all on one gender, or say something stupid like it's my 'picker' or 'games' so I can blame something other than myself and feel justified in my behavior of going through the same cycle over and over and over again, which ultimately allows me to wallow in self pity and feel entitled to what I'm doing."

With age came experience.
With experience came wisdom.

Not 40 yet, but definitely wouldn't want to be 20 again.

I have learned much over the years and wouldn't want to trade it for youth,

Am in nigeria and am still single. So i dont know if you can come over to nigeria so we can spend our life together

Hmmm but i as a man only need a woman who can make me happy and i will make her happy too. Age is not a problem to me

I would not know as such whether it's really hard to go on a date in 40 ' s !

I agree with you

For me, ANY age was/is difficult. I mean, how many guys 1) Don't drink, 2) Don't really give a flip about watching or participating in most sports, 3) Aren't that into organized religion, but are not atheist, 4) Are poor dancers, 5) Are not rich, 6) Are not a hunk with chiseled features that ladies can't take their eyes off & 7) Can't think of where to meet people (since bars are ruled out (#1), tailgating & other sports-related venues are ruled out (#2), church & related activities are ruled out (#3) & clubs are rulled out (#4))?

I think I'm with TMommy on this, and possibly also WolfWalkwer527.

I'd add don't expect too much. If it's dinner, it's dinner. Even if the other one pays, there's no reciprocal obligation. Meet in a public place, fend off their grubby paws, and go home. Or chat in the parking lot. Or call them later. Or not.

Expect that most people just aren't your thing. Find out, move on. Reach out, experiment, and if it doesn't work out, try again. Keep all the privacy you can.

Volunteer. A quick Google search of <your home town> + "volunteer" will come up with a dozen options, and most importantly, the people there are there because they want to do volunteer stuff, not to hook up with someone. It can (and does!) happen, but it not being the primary focus does rather remove most of the stress (if sex is primary for you, you might be causing stress, and you may be asked nicely not to return. Don't be 'that one').

Anyhow. $0.02, FWIW. S.

I actually think it got easier for me as i got older. And as for the young chicks, I think it was them that envied me coz the young men all came to me instead of them coz what is youth without personality

You still smoking hot to

Myself, I have given up on personal relationship I think love is for the young accept my children and so when your relationship is dead you have to endure if you wish to see your children grow. My issue that in my 40s I find it hard to make friends and I spent all of my 20s in the holiday camp world.
It was never hard before
"I wish you all the best of luck in what you seek"
I hope I am wrong and that you can experience love that feeling I had all those years ago.

It's hell getting a date here as a uniform guy, they all think u r a scam or something. This bastards are making it hard everyday