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| Topic: The "lets exchange pics" thing | |
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It has happened to me on every OLD site: I get contacted (or do the contacting), we message (insert nonspecific small talk here), then he will always ask for more pictures. Grrrrr....
I don't have any pictures. I was unemployed a while & stayed home just going out for chores & the very rare interview. Just recently got a temp. job, so now I go to work & go home (+ chores). That is my life, which is why I'm doing OLD. I don't go out w/friends (miniscule social circle comprised of all married females/w kids who lives many many miles away, I don't drive, etc..). So as I see it, if I'm not going out to parties or events w/friends, just where would I take a photo? Who would take it? The photos on this site are from when I was in school in 2014 & at a friends house for a once a year get together at the holidays in 2014. Don't suggest selfies, tried it...I look horrible AND a selfie is usually from the "chest up" & I understand that men want to see the body so they can make a decision about whether or not to meet. They know the old game women try with a dozen selfie pics is just trying to obscure some bad body trait below the chest LOL! So...after I tell the man I don't have any more pics to send: end of messaging. Sighhh...I don't understand. If they weren't interested in the pic I already have, they wouldn't have messaged or responded to my message? |
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Well I used to be in the same boat, I hate to have my picture taken and thank God so does my bf...
How I solved this in the past is if and when we are going to do a meet and greet. I actually would insist on a video chat, it can be done with a phone, there are several apps around now that are free. After a meet and greet several years ago which was hilariously bad. I take a screen shot of said person and if that person doesn't show up I am out of there. In all honesty, in this day and age with all the fakes and scammers, People want to make sure they know who they are talking to. Hang in there and well I am sure you will find what you are looking for. |
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Sexy
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While I agree to an extent about wanting to know who you're talking to, people can still deceive you with a ton of pics. I went out with a guy I met on another site and he seemed SO nice from our chats and the first date. After the second date, he got all clingy and weird and creepy so I broke it off. Long story short I had to threaten to call the police on him because he kept blowing up my phone and stalking me on FB. So you can be a psycho with a ton of pics or only one pic or no pics at all. Everyone is crazy online or so it seems....
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Oh, I forgot to say I do know that OLD also has the subspecies of weirdo male & (female) who are "picture collectors". But there's no real way to know beforehand if the person is that or not, & I don't want to assume the worst based on one request for additional photos.
:-) |
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I've never fancied pic exchange
I hate taking pics n only have a few if they don't like it shove off |
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Oh, I forgot to say I do know that OLD also has the subspecies of weirdo male & (female) who are "picture collectors". But there's no real way to know beforehand if the person is that or not, & I don't want to assume the worst based on one request for additional photos. :-) I totally agree with you.. .That is why I went to a visual so I knew who at least I was meeting for the first time. The other thing to be honest you are a young looking person for your age and they might think you are trying to pass off aged pictures. While it is aggravating, I have gotten that a time or two people don't believe I am 55. Would you be willing to offer a short video chat before hand.. That way you know you are speaking to whom they say they are and they are speaking to you. The picture they see. I know for a couple of years I couldn't post a picture on my profile. It went against my contract. When contract was renewed the clause was taken out. Either way you need to do what is comfortable for you and if they don't like it then they mostly likely aren't a good fit and there is always another fish in the sea. |
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Sitkarain I love your profile picture .
I don't like taking pictures - when I do I have to take like 10 or 30 to get the perfect one lol |
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I've never fancied pic exchange I hate taking pics n only have a few if they don't like it shove off Interesting |
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I can understand they want to see more pictures. I want to see more pictures myself just the same. One pictures means nothing. Absolutely nothing.
And logical they'd want to see that that one picture isn't 10 years old. What I don't understand is why you can't take your own pictures. I'm alone too, I don't work, don't go out much. I take ALL my pictures myself and I do have full body ones, and I do have recent ones. Sorry to say, but it's a naff excuse that you have no one to take your pictures. I don't either, it's all about the effort you are willing to put in to it. Every camera has a timer, you can stick a camera on a cupboard for full body pictures or get a tripod. I even drag my tripod in the garden with me to take pictures there. It takes about 1 minute to figure out how high you got to put the camera, either on shelves/cupboard or a tripod. And to be honest, I usually have a lot of fun doing an amateur photo shoot all by myself. Over half the pictures I can chuck cos they're no good or blurred. So what? It's not like you still gotta buy film and have them developed... Just get inventive. Or simply accept that men will find it suspicious if you only got one old picture and are reluctant/unwilling to make more. It IS suspect in this day and age ... Even more selfies above the chest is better than just one old picture ... Again, naff excuse. |
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Sitkarain I love your profile picture . I don't like taking pictures - when I do I have to take like 10 or 30 to get the perfect one lol u ave a beautiful smile |
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I can understand they want to see more pictures. I want to see more pictures myself just the same. One pictures means nothing. Absolutely nothing. And logical they'd want to see that that one picture isn't 10 years old. What I don't understand is why you can't take your own pictures. I'm alone too, I don't work, don't go out much. I take ALL my pictures myself and I do have full body ones, and I do have recent ones. Sorry to say, but it's a naff excuse that you have no one to take your pictures. I don't either, it's all about the effort you are willing to put in to it. Every camera has a timer, you can stick a camera on a cupboard for full body pictures or get a tripod. I even drag my tripod in the garden with me to take pictures there. It takes about 1 minute to figure out how high you got to put the camera, either on shelves/cupboard or a tripod. And to be honest, I usually have a lot of fun doing an amateur photo shoot all by myself. Over half the pictures I can chuck cos they're no good or blurred. So what? It's not like you still gotta buy film and have them developed... Just get inventive. Or simply accept that men will find it suspicious if you only got one old picture and are reluctant/unwilling to make more. It IS suspect in this day and age ... Even more selfies above the chest is better than just one old picture ... Again, naff excuse. agreed! I honestly think that some women just get lazy with online, there are usually many more men online then women, and to get 'a' guy all a woman really needs to do is be present. and the creeps will come crawling out of the woodwork But I still think that to get a 'good' guy effort is needed/expected. honestly if I ask for another picture from a women, im trying to determine two things. 1. if the pictures are actually of them, or if it is one if their friends/ex girlfriend,/ir some random photo they grabbed from the net. 2. is how old is the photo? is it 3 years old? 10 years old? etc.... if I'm messaging a women and she has a lame excuse I assume she's lying about who she is or what she currently looks like. so yes I'd stop messaging them. Because I longer believe who they say they are |
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i get the lets exchange pics all the time
but its from scammers that want me to hand them my email info lol and like a couple other people have said there are many free programs out there that you can download and use a cell phone or a camera and mic for your computer best wishes on your hunt : ) ~ |
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Sitkarain I love your profile picture . I don't like taking pictures - when I do I have to take like 10 or 30 to get the perfect one lol u ave a beautiful smile |
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Sitka, thanks for the compliment...btw, how do you update your age on this site...there is no entry for it under Account > edit profile, so unlike real life I've been 47 for a year & 3 months now LOL!
Crystal/Blondey, I see your points but the truth of the matter is I'm simply too vain to post a bad pic & all the selfies I've tried are BAD...I don't have a camera & I'm flat out not investing in one, my cell (Virgin Mobile Kyocera not even made anymore) doesn't have a timer or a tripod attachment & a new phone is not in the budget anytime soon :-( So, either I get a photo taken of me when I look good by a friend or I don't. Another block for me is the whole OLD concept itself...I'm all for the 30 minute investment of time after work or on the weekend to meet in person. You can't actually DATE online, so I want to get to the 1st meet ASAP, since that is how I really tell if I'm attracted or not. I've been fooled once by a man's photo, so I need to see the person IRL. An exchange of photos is really a waste of time to me, if I get to the meet & I don't like them anyway? I've never attracted the guys who like women in bikinis (the perfect OLD photo for a woman to post to get potential views & messages) even when I was 27, so I'm not aiming for that demographic in OLD now LOL. My complaint is why are the men asking for more photos by the 3rd message? Shouldn't we both be trying to negotiate a meet up by then? In OLD looks count & I just thought that if they messaged me 1st, then my "look" in the photo fit their preference, so that part of the OLD dance is taken care of already? |
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It has happened to me on every OLD site So....you pretty much know to expect it now, don't you? If they weren't interested in the pic I already have, they wouldn't have messaged or responded to my message? People have the right to change their mind at any time for any reason without any explanation or need for justification. |
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The problem is that all of your excuses for not posting more pics sound piss poor and as if you're trying to hide what you look like. You say that you're vain but that pictures of yourself look awful. But loads of good looking women take pictures of themselves that aren't particularly good and a guy can still tell if he would be interested from them.
I don't ask for pictures myself but what's happening is that guys will contact women that don't have much on their profiles just because they're trying to get a woman to talk to them. Many don't reply, so they don't just pick out a profile that's good enough for them, as you seem to think that they should. They haven't made up their minds if you're what they're looking for and they want to know more about you. |
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Edited by
SparklingCrystal 💖💎
on
Mon 09/21/15 02:11 AM
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Sitka, thanks for the compliment...btw, how do you update your age on this site...there is no entry for it under Account > edit profile, so unlike real life I've been 47 for a year & 3 months now LOL! Crystal/Blondey, I see your points but the truth of the matter is I'm simply too vain to post a bad pic & all the selfies I've tried are BAD...I don't have a camera & I'm flat out not investing in one, my cell (Virgin Mobile Kyocera not even made anymore) doesn't have a timer or a tripod attachment & a new phone is not in the budget anytime soon :-( So, either I get a photo taken of me when I look good by a friend or I don't. Another block for me is the whole OLD concept itself...I'm all for the 30 minute investment of time after work or on the weekend to meet in person. You can't actually DATE online, so I want to get to the 1st meet ASAP, since that is how I really tell if I'm attracted or not. I've been fooled once by a man's photo, so I need to see the person IRL. An exchange of photos is really a waste of time to me, if I get to the meet & I don't like them anyway? I've never attracted the guys who like women in bikinis (the perfect OLD photo for a woman to post to get potential views & messages) even when I was 27, so I'm not aiming for that demographic in OLD now LOL. My complaint is why are the men asking for more photos by the 3rd message? Shouldn't we both be trying to negotiate a meet up by then? In OLD looks count & I just thought that if they messaged me 1st, then my "look" in the photo fit their preference, so that part of the OLD dance is taken care of already? I think most, if not all, your questions were answered by my post and Isaac's. Simply put, if you don't want to change your MO, you will bump into this problem again and again. If a man came up with the same excuse, I wouldn't meet & greet him either. There are way too many scammers online and you don't go for a meet & greet unless you know someone is for real. And another thing... I've once talked to a guy who had a very old phone, not a smartphone even. So no WhatsApp, but texting. I couldn't even remember how texting worked. It made me wonder what rock he'd been living under and if I'd want to get involved with someone who's seriously lagging behind. I only have a benefit, but I still have a smartphone. So I don't buy that excuse either. If I can do that, anyone can! If you aren't with the times it says something about you, and I don't want someone who's living in an obsolete world. Just explaining that you'll come across as yet another liar and no one wants to meet & greet those. If another picture is blocking your dating life and finding a partner, stop sabotaging yourself with excuses, and get the friggin picture! Ask someone to take a few. Doesn't even cost you anything, just a few minutes of your time. If nothing else, get a webcam. They cost $10-$20. At least that way you can show them you are for real. Stop the excuses, start thinking solutions. . . |
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Your profile says fwb! Translated equals casual sex. The guy wants to see you in more detail. Your profile pic is grainy however if you are putting it out there then expect the request. Maybe lay off the sex approach and get to know someone first . Some guys look the part but are f... in the head so tread very carefully.
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I can understand they want to see more pictures. I want to see more pictures myself just the same. One pictures means nothing. Absolutely nothing. And logical they'd want to see that that one picture isn't 10 years old. What I don't understand is why you can't take your own pictures. I'm alone too, I don't work, don't go out much. I take ALL my pictures myself and I do have full body ones, and I do have recent ones. Sorry to say, but it's a naff excuse that you have no one to take your pictures. I don't either, it's all about the effort you are willing to put in to it. Every camera has a timer, you can stick a camera on a cupboard for full body pictures or get a tripod. I even drag my tripod in the garden with me to take pictures there. It takes about 1 minute to figure out how high you got to put the camera, either on shelves/cupboard or a tripod. And to be honest, I usually have a lot of fun doing an amateur photo shoot all by myself. Over half the pictures I can chuck cos they're no good or blurred. So what? It's not like you still gotta buy film and have them developed... Just get inventive. Or simply accept that men will find it suspicious if you only got one old picture and are reluctant/unwilling to make more. It IS suspect in this day and age ... Even more selfies above the chest is better than just one old picture ... Again, naff excuse. agreed! I honestly think that some women just get lazy with online, there are usually many more men online then women, and to get 'a' guy all a woman really needs to do is be present. and the creeps will come crawling out of the woodwork But I still think that to get a 'good' guy effort is needed/expected. honestly if I ask for another picture from a women, im trying to determine two things. 1. if the pictures are actually of them, or if it is one if their friends/ex girlfriend,/ir some random photo they grabbed from the net. 2. is how old is the photo? is it 3 years old? 10 years old? etc.... if I'm messaging a women and she has a lame excuse I assume she's lying about who she is or what she currently looks like. so yes I'd stop messaging them. Because I longer believe who they say they are I agree with both of you Crystal and Isaac......I just want to add something regarding lame excuse of a woman especially in sharing pictures. Coz in my experience and observation on net, most of the guys would really ask for pictures but I think sending more than 3 or 5 pics are enough, yet why would they ask for more,we have also been talking on cam, so what's the point there? why I hesitate to give more pics is because I don't know them that well yet, and I don't know what they are going to do with my pictures. Some men may use it for other purposes. Being cautious is not a lame excuse or lying I think? Just to add, there are men also who ask me if I have FB and they would ask me to add them, but of course I don't give my FB account name, what I did was check their profile and all you can see there are all their girl-friends, do you think it's nice to see your pic there.....it's like you are shopping for girls there and you are one of their collections. |
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